I think I'm resisting finishing these last two chapters of RIHC6v2 because I honestly don't want it to end. I love the process going on between Antony and Jake and Matt and the scum surrounding them. I like how focused Antony is and how in control Jake is and how Matt is growing before my eyes. It's selfish of me, but I keep reworking the end because I don't want it to be that. Maybe this is the first stage of a complete psychotic break with reality, when my characters are more real than the real characters in my life.
You know...I get like that. I like watching films I've seen and enjoyed before, over and over -- classics like "The Maltese Falcon" and "The Big Sleep" and "Pride and Prejudice" (1940) as well as modern films like The Bourne Trilogy (I own all three) and anything by Hitchcock and Kurosawa and Truffaut. I did a ton of ironing over the last couple days and watched "Stray Dog" and "M" for the umpteenth time as I did it. And still got engrossed in the stories. The characters in those movies are like -- shit, like I wish I was...people who do instead of just watch, who develop and deepen with each viewing instead of maintain a steady blandness in themselves.
Not that there's anything wrong with voyeurism when perpetrated against the appropriate subject...and think what you wish about that. Or that consistency is bad...except when it is...and try to make sense of THAT one.
And just for the hell of it, this is how I really picture Antony. I posted another photo, earlier, but this one better reflects him.