Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Complete the Orisi

The rest of the bit with Adam getting made over...
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Adam is plopped in a chair, then the Crew dives in.

They work on his fingernails...

And his toenails...

And cutting and styling his hair.

A cleansing mask is smoothed onto his face.

A woman tries various colognes on him by touching some to his skin and sniffing in a way that is both invasive and sensual.

ADAM
...Careful...

He drinks some wine.

Orisi appears with a leather shopping bag.

ORISI
Here. Perfect!

He pulls out a pair of briefs. Adam jolts.

ADAM
Pink y-fronts? You’re joking!

ORISI
This is the color of Salmon! An Orisi Man does NOT wear pink!

ADAM
What’s so bloody wrong with what I had on? I took a bath before I got on the plane, you know, and I do wear deodorant!

ORISI
Mr. Verlain -- an Orisi Man dresses from the skin out. Not socks, but hosiery of finest blended wool. Not Y-fronts, but underwear made from purest cotton, in Egypt, with a thread count of twelve-hundred. He does not wear briefs. And deodorant is never his cologne.

ADAM
CASEY, this is gettin’ to be -- !

CASEY (O.S.)
Adam, just wear the fucking briefs! It’s not like anybody’s gonna see ‘em. And hurry up; the car’s gonna be here in half an hour.

Orisi coldly offers Adam the briefs. Adam almost snarls then snatches them.

ADAM
What I bloody do for a bloody book.

INT. CASEY’S HOME - DAY

Patricia makes a Bloody Mary as Casey paces. She’s not dressed, yet.

CASEY
Adam, you ready, already?

ORISI (O.S.)
Stand back.

Orisi and his crew come out of the bedroom, exhausted.

ORISI (cont’d)
Casey...do you know the scene in My Fair Lady, when they give to Eliza Doolitle a bath? And she goes from being the slug to being the lovely butterfly? Expect less. Much less. Oh, and vodka, for all.

His crew nods.

ORISI (cont’d)
Adam! Come!

Adam huffs out...and he looks fantastic in an elegant Tuxedo, nails polished, hair gelled, Italian loafers on his feet. Even the bandage on his eye looks cool.

ADAM
Was this really necessary? I mean, they even gave me a bloody pedicure, and I’ve never had one of those.

ORISI
Obviously.

ADAM
Yeah, yeah, yeah -- well, now my feet feel funny.

Casey just smiles. Patricia sets down her drink.

PATRICIA
Adam, honey, have you seen yourself?

ORISI
An Orisi Man does not need to see himself. He knows how he looks.

ADAM
There’s no mirrors in that room.

PATRICIA
There’s one by the door.

Adam goes to it...and is taken aback.

ADAM
Bloody hell.

CASEY
No shit.

She takes a photo of him, using her cell phone. Orisi gasps.

ORISI
Why do you take the photo?

CASEY
Send to his boss.

ADAM
Oh, Casey -- not to Vincent.

CASEY
Too late. Done.

ADAM
Oh, Christ, I’m never going to hear the end of it.

A CAR HORN sounds, outside. Adam realizes -- .

ADAM (cont’d)
Casey -- you’re not ready?

CASEY
Mom, give the Orisi’s their drinks. Adam, step outside.

She runs upstairs.

ORISI
Casey, you show the photo to anyone else, I sue you for slander!

PATRICIA
Oh, shut up.

She hands out shots. Adam gets his pants and pulls out his wallet and passport. Orisi tries to grab them from him.

ORISI
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, an Orisi Man does not carry a wallet!

ADAM
Well, this one bloody does, and if you don’t bloody like it you can bloody kiss my arse!

The crew is horrified. Orisi looks Adam up one side and down the other...then smiles.

ORISI
Well...maybe there still is hope for you.

Adam huffs and storms outside.

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