This story resonates with me as I read it during a breaking story (in real life) in the news about a young North Korean man who miraculously escaped from a prison camp in that country. His story is that he was born into slavery in the camp and knew no difference, knew nothing of love or compassion or basic humanity. We are left with a feeling of his being lost in the world with no solid anchor. It is a story that I won’t soon forget -- that such a place could exist in this world.
But such a place can always exist in our minds. Curt is born into a life of poverty, neglect and abuse. How can he hope to climb out of that? Do we make our own destinies or are they preordained by our beginnings? Are some of us less hardwired to our humanity than others? Nature vs. nurture, that is an age-old question.
The title of this work will put many off and that is a shame because it inadvertently diminishes the content. Add to that that this is not a romance nor is it erotica. It is a close look at the psychology of a criminal who thinks he’s just like you and me and there’s the rub. He doesn’t seem to have the capacity to see his way out of the mire, it’s all he knows. Just when Curt seems to get a glimmer, feel a flutter of a reality-check, his anger and self-loathing sucks him right down again. Harkening to the title, Curt sees himself as straight and given what he does to prove himself, he is very conflicted about that too.
From petty crime to felony, Curt continues a spiraling fall into the abyss. We bear witness and ache for him to see the light. This is a truthful, raw look from the inside of someone who can’t subjugate himself to the choice between right and wrong, someone who has a great capacity for numbing himself to feeling and reflection and the acceptance of who he is. We all seek control in our lives in varying ways, Curt’s balm is to control others physically, to inflict on them the pain he has suffered.
Despite the title, this is excellent work. Not an easy read, not for everyone but compelling just the same.
People are now starting to read my other work -- like "Bobby Carapisi, The Complete novel" and "The Lyons' Den". Maybe this will help get the books recognized.
Too tired to do anything more. Guess I'm finally jet-laggin'.