Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

I need to get drunk...

I haven't been drunk in years...nothing more than barely tipsy. I've been feeling more and more bound in and need something to help me cut loose. A serious drunk. There's a bar across the street named Jake's, of all things, so maybe I'll go over, have a few shots of everything and get plastered.

I'm in the middle of a health scare and pissed as hell about it. No details, but I'm seeing a specialist on the 29th...the earliest they could fit me in without going to an emergency room, and it's not bad enough for that. It's just fucking irritating. Yet may be expensive, and just as I was getting control of my finances. But that's the way it's always been with me. The second I start to get ahead, life kicks me in the gut. I should fucking stop it.

This comes as I finally realized I need to make some major changes to Underground Guy. Devlin and reg reconnect too soon, so another chapter must be worked up after his dinner with his sister-in-law; that's what the problem was. Devlin wants to be in action, now. Trying to make sense of the information swirling around him and seeing if he can find out anything about the killer, himself. If he doesn't, he'll never get to go home.

The fact of the matter is, the story begins with him kidnapping and assaulting a cop working an undercover operation. The British police won't let him go; they'll scream for him to be in jail the rest of his life...unless he does something so heroic, they have to back down. As in stop a serial killer. So...while I was sort of drifting into that scenario as a subplot, it's now the focus...and everything else has to come from that and not just Dev's psychoses.

So what has that done to the story? Well...it shifted to make Tawfi, Dev's other romantic interest, a business partner with a Griffin Faure, a man who screwed Dev's business over and got punished, brutally, in return. Could revenge be behind this? Doesn't make sense; three of the murders happened before Dev was in the country. Will it wind up that Tawfi and Griff are working in tandem to distract attention from some scam they're pulling, and using Dev as part of the smokescreen? I don't know, anymore. I don't make these things up; I just write them.

And right now I'm back to not knowing WTF is going on...and normally would like that...but it's irritating me, instead. And I can't do the Hemingway or Fitzgerald thing because there's also some automatic firewall in my own psyche that stops me on the rare occasions I do want to go on a bender. My automatic brakes engaging to keep me from spiraling out of control...I guess. I dunno.

I just fucking want to get drunk.

No comments: