Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Leisurely day of writing...

I added more to the first part of UG and am beginning to think I may be chipping off a fair portion of the outline I'd worked up. So in reality, I'm not adding so much as shifting around. Which is good.

I'm not sure if this will stay where I have it, now -- the day after Devlin's dinner with Diana...but we'll see.
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The next day I went to the British Library by St. Pancras and used their WiFi for my new phone. I stayed in the technology area, where they had thousands of books relating to nano-tech, while using my phone to find out more about Tawfi and Kenneth and Faure. Not much more to be had.

I had a late lunch in their café so I could call the office once I knew Marci’d be in...only she wasn’t, yet. Very unlike her. Then I called Colin. He was at home and his voice was spooky.

“It’s her, Dev,” he said. “It’s her.”

“Oh, Jesus,” whispered from me. “Are they sure?”

“They’re gonna run DNA but...”

“Colin, I’m so sorry you’re the one who had to go through this. Jesus. Well...at least...now we know mom didn’t abandon us.”

“She died. They showed me her locket. Wasn’t around her neck. Chain was broke. Had it tight in her hand. They say. Way the bones were. Like she knew she was dying. Knew she’d be found, some day. They let me see it. You and me...picture inside...we were smiling. I don’t remember smiling.”

His voice sent chills through me. “Colin, Diana’s on her way home.”

“Yeah. Lands in an hour. Wants me to pick her up.”

“Do it. But don’t drive; take a cab or Lyft or something. Where’s Marci? Let her drive you.”

“She’s at the office.”

His voice cut into me like razors. “Colin, listen to me. I can’t believe how strong you are, in the face of this.” He snorted a soft laugh, in response. That's when words started pouring out of me. “No, really, I thought you were the weak one, you take after mom and she let dad get away with so much and I was so angry over it because I thought she was weak, but it’s how she tried to protect us, and when she was gone, you took over for her and you let dad hit you and I thought...I thought it was because you were afraid but now I see, you kept yourself between him and me and...and now I really do see it...see you were the strong one, ten times stronger than me. You’re facing what happened to mom and I...I couldn’t. I got myself into a situation here where I couldn’t go home, so I wouldn’t have to face it, because I was scared, scared of what I might do, but you’re facing it like a man, not a scared wild animal.” I ran out of breath. Could think of nothing more to say except, "You're the strong one."

Colin just sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” I had to whisper, I could barely breathe.

“Were you at home the day dad died?”

I did stop breathing, for a moment, then I nodded. “Yes.”

“He hit you?”

“...Yes.”

“Was he dead when you left?”

“No. He was on the floor. Sitting. Drunk...shit, too drunk to get up.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “His alcohol level was .25.”

“Oh...it has been since we were born.” I let out a deep sigh. “How long’ve you known?”

“Neighbor saw you leave. Blood on your face.”

“Since that day!?”

“No. Marci told me. Yesterday. When she told me you’d been arrested, so couldn’t go to...to see...”

Oh, that fucking bitch. I had to grip the table to keep from screaming. “I told you,” I croaked. “I got into a situation where I can’t come home. Not yet.”

“Diana’ll be home in a little while. I need to go get her. When I get back to the office, I’m firing Marci. Having the books audited.”

“Do it. Diana can take over. She’s sharp, and she’s got some good ideas for the company.”

“More’n I ever had.”

“Cut it out.”

“Y’know, dad was gonna leave it all to you. Said you were twice as capable as me. It always was about you. Said I’d fuck it up. And I damn near proved him right.”

“Colin, tell me, seriously -- has anything gone wrong since we dealt with the Faure family?”

“No. Thanks to you.”

“Wrong. You kept it going. I was on the road half the time. You kept the business going. Made sure the dealers were happy. And if I brought in new ones, made them feel at home. I’m good at handling problems; you’re good at preventing them. You are the strongest of us both. You had to be.”

“Yeah. Right. Gotta go. Talk to you later.”

“...Okay.” Then I snapped, “Colin. Colin!”

“What?”

“If you do anything stupid, I will commit murder.”

That caught him off guard. “What?!”

“If you do anything stupid, I will kill Griffin Faure.” I let my voice be as harsh and cold as I could. “He’s here in London, and I will find him and I will cut his fucking throat.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m like our father. I’m a mean motherfucking bastard, and if you do anything stupid, I will blame him and track him down.”

“Don’t be a dumbass, Dev. Jesus. I’m...I’m gonna do anything...”

“I mean it, Colin. I fucking mean it.”

He was silent for several seconds then asked, “Are you drunk?”

“No. I almost was, yesterday, but I...I felt like shit this morning.”

“Then you’re not like dad, so stop making this about you. I gotta go.”

He ended the call.

I sat in the café for another hour, drinking enough tea to float a battleship and having a pastry, just so I could keep from screaming. It wasn’t till I got a text from Diana that Colin was at JFK with the car that I was able to relax.

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