I'm having some very odd dreams, lately...like I'm on a film set but in front of the camera in a smaller role. Acting. Something I know I'm not good at and have never wanted to pursue. I did some in college to try and break me out of my shyness...and it helped...except when I got the reviews back and found I wasn't the only one questioning my abilities in that realm. But in truth, I didn't have the focus needed for it. I was in a comedy and most of my effort went to keeping myself from laughing at my own lines.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm waking up from moments in my slumbering brain that can only be explained by them being a movie. Sitting and talking with Russell Tovey? Walking into a room of men dressing for their characters? Though that one might have been for a play...but I really don't remember. I do recall getting a costume from a closet just as I was awoken by my alarm.
I've often wondered if the occasional deja vu I feel stems from dreams that sort of prefigure my life. Especially the vivid ones. There was one from years and years ago that still haunts me. I'm driving across a bridge high above a lake or river and it buckles and cars are tossed into the water, mine included. I get out and swim for shore as fast as I can because a shark is after me...which is funny because I can't swim. But I make it. Now here it is decades later and nothing even remotely similar has happened. However, that dream was so intense, I still think of it when I'm driving across a bridge over water.
I don't know what these things are supposed to mean; I've never really done the dream therapy/explanation thing. I just know the ones that are truly scary I don't remember; all I do is jolt awake and I'm freaked out. Those are few and far between so I don't worry about them, but all these recent ones have me confused. Am I telling myself I should not have given up on film?
That'd be silly. It took me long enough to get it through my thick skull no one wanted my scripts and I had no idea how to change their minds. And no way was I chasing an acting career; that's filled with a thousand times more rejection than I ever experienced. Now maybe I'm subconsciously saying I should have?
Man...I do confuse me, sometimes.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm waking up from moments in my slumbering brain that can only be explained by them being a movie. Sitting and talking with Russell Tovey? Walking into a room of men dressing for their characters? Though that one might have been for a play...but I really don't remember. I do recall getting a costume from a closet just as I was awoken by my alarm.
I've often wondered if the occasional deja vu I feel stems from dreams that sort of prefigure my life. Especially the vivid ones. There was one from years and years ago that still haunts me. I'm driving across a bridge high above a lake or river and it buckles and cars are tossed into the water, mine included. I get out and swim for shore as fast as I can because a shark is after me...which is funny because I can't swim. But I make it. Now here it is decades later and nothing even remotely similar has happened. However, that dream was so intense, I still think of it when I'm driving across a bridge over water.
I don't know what these things are supposed to mean; I've never really done the dream therapy/explanation thing. I just know the ones that are truly scary I don't remember; all I do is jolt awake and I'm freaked out. Those are few and far between so I don't worry about them, but all these recent ones have me confused. Am I telling myself I should not have given up on film?
That'd be silly. It took me long enough to get it through my thick skull no one wanted my scripts and I had no idea how to change their minds. And no way was I chasing an acting career; that's filled with a thousand times more rejection than I ever experienced. Now maybe I'm subconsciously saying I should have?
Man...I do confuse me, sometimes.
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