Still self-flagellating...

And not in a good way. Too much is up in the air, right now, and I'm more than a little overwhelmed. But to be honest, I don't know why. Or what is causing it. Just the impression in my head that my world is too chaotic to focus.

Maybe it's the whiplash bullshit going on in Washington and Felon47, and his stupidity about the Middle East. Maybe it's the expanding costs of everything around me. Maybe it's how the world is crashing into a new realm of reality and I have no idea how to be part of it or be myself enough to keep separate from it.

What jolted me most was, while I think of myself as being fairly literate, visually, I saw a video that was supposed to be of American military personnel celebrating the destruction of Iran's nuclear program...which didn't happen, btw. We barely dented it with our "bunker-busting bombs." But it wasn't until the last shot in that video that I began to wonder if it was AI generated.

It was. But I had to get verification of it. Which means 95% of the people seeing that video will think it's realer than and not bullshit.

I sort of feel like the world has taken a giant lead into a new realm and I'm still standing here trying to figure how whether or not to jump. And if I can't jump, how the hell to get myself to let go enough to make it not matter? To let me just fuck everything off and do my own thing?

That's something I've always had problems with...uncertainty in myself. Sometimes I can get past it, to an extent, but never completely. But I want to jump and do so completely, for a change...at 72 fucking years old.

Way to take your time, Kyle.