I knew Michael's well enough not to think I could find these things on my own. I asked people who worked there...and got sent to the wrong place three times.
"Aisle 87 for gift boxes." But from where I'm standing, there is no Aisle 87 visible. Just Aisles 86 and 88, visible just beyond piles of center aisle islands of Christmas decorations and frames on sale, 2 for 1.
And I did buy 2 frames...and only had to pay for one. I felt the need.
Ink pad? Also on Aisle 87. Which it was. I just didn't notice them when I was looking for the gift boxes. Which weren't there. But tissue was.
I found gift ribbon by accident and got the last two red wired ones...and continued to get caught up in all the tiny items available that I would never have need for but were fascinating.
Buttons. Appliques. Brushes. Styrofoam shapes. Art pads. Plastic Christmas trees for your desk or table. Five areas of paint and pencils. The options were endless.
And my focus minimal. There was too much stuff in a sort of semi-controlled chaos. Like the thoughts in my head, sometimes.
I used to paint and sketch and loved it, but I haven't done any art in over a year. There's been too much else going on that wasn't really important yet was and I had no focus. Now I just have questions.
Why don't I paint, anymore? What would I paint? Can I still paint? Or sketch? Or become involved enough with my work to make it meaningful? Who am I? Do I even exist outside of a place like Michael's?
I started getting dizzy and felt the need to pee, so bought what I'd found and came home instead of going to the PO. I needed to touch base with myself, again. I'll do the PO on Monday. My usual manner of dealing with confusion...put it off...
In the meantime, how do I declutter my life so it's no longer like a Michael's?
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