Warning for any and all who think writers are crazy beings lost in some multiple-personality syndrome -- it's true. Right now I have a fight going on in the back of my head and it exploded just this morning.
Brendan is sick and tired of me shunting him aside and letting other stories take me over and then take their time being told. It's a form of literary avoidance, and this whole slow dance between Eric, Allen and Pavel finally sent him over the edge. So Brendan informed me this section of "Bobby Carapisi" is not really necessary, yet; that volumes 1 & 2 cover the important part of BC. Then he added, "Focus on 'Place of Safety' or drop it...or I'll drop you."
He also hates me calling it "A Place of Safety." Says it's softening the title too much. Weird.
Anyway, to make it clear, I do NOT want to drop the story. I've been wrestling with this thing for way too long to just give up on it. But I'm still spooked by the POV it's taking and nervous about making it work. I don't -- no, I can't let it wind up a lightweight, unreal, simplistic tale meant to do nothing more than further my own viewpoint of the meaning of that hideous time. I just don't know if I gots the chops to make it work. Of course, that cuts zero slack with Brendan. It's do it and that's all there is to it -- or don't.
So maybe he's right. I did the goofy thing of asking myself, If I contracted cancer and had six months to live, what would I focus on? The first thing that popped into my head was, Finish POS. So I guess that's my course from this point forward -- finish the book. Not just a first draft, but one that's good enough for people to read and offer feedback on. One I can start showing around. Even post on Authonomy.com. I just finished writing a short story that ripped me to shreds -- all in a voice I'd never heard before -- and I made it through that. Let's see what hell Brendan brings my way.
His response? Just you wait. Offered with steely eyes and a slight nod of the head. He's gonna make me pay for my wariness.