Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Saturday, April 30, 2022

The final opening...

I posted the earlier edition of this some time ago, if you want to get it and compare how much it's changed...and yet, how little:

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Well...the one thing Carli Vincenzo did not expect, this evening, was live porn. Granted, she wasn’t exactly supposed to be where she was — hidden in the massive walk-in closet of a massive master bedroom of a massive condo on the twenty-fifth floor of a sleek high-rise on a Saturday night. But since the woman who inhabited that condo was out dining with her latest boyfriend, she really should not have been surprised when they wound up in bed and having very involved sex. The only surprise was how the female one seemed to enjoy him just as much as he was enjoying her...if you went by her groans, gasps, sighs, snarls, groping hands and kicking legs, not to mention perfectly manicured fingernails digging into his totally naked ass. 

He was Michael Avery Malsby, and was completely immaterial to the task at hand. Carli’s focus was Anastasia Florencia Deveaux, known as Stasi to her minions. 

Her...Carli hated with every fiber of her being. 

To start with, she was twenty-three years old, ten years Carli’s junior and fifteen years younger than pretty-boy Mikey. Height? Five-seven. Weight? A hundred and ten pounds. Body by personal trainer, which meant strength was less important than looking good. But a pair of breasts that were overly enhanced by some upscale tool in Beverly Hills threw that off. There was also the rather obvious nose job, which did, at least, help the symmetry of her face while mitigating the cold cruelty in her big, bad, baby-blue eyes. Unfortunately, it failed to mitigate the fact that her head was also a size too large for her body and her hips a size too small. 

All of which disgusted Carli. 

Seriously, how could any man be attracted to a plastic, entitled bitch that was the personification of Barbie with a mean girl attitude? Was it the challenge of being the one guy who could handle Little Miss I Count And You Don’t when no one else could? All the idiot would find was he had greatly overestimated his prowess in that department.

Yet, here was Mikey, the latest in a long line of them, and Stasi showing a willingness to get as down and dirty and hard at fucking as him meant he probably thought he was important to her. 

Men are so stupid, Carli thought to herself. 

Of course, ticking off Stasi’s s attributes meant subconsciously comparing them to her own, whether she intended to or not. Yes, she was twenty-five pounds heavier than this wisp of nothingness, but she was also three inches taller, with natural curves and un-enhanced breasts that looked damn good. And she was strong, thanks to fourteen years in the army. She also had brown hair, dark eyes and lips that were the most kissable ever, according to the men she had known, so she had confidence enough in herself and her abilities to not let sluts like this wear her down. 

Another thing that helped Carli's self-confidence was watching Mikey honestly think his humpity-humpity-bunny-fucky-fucky way was giving her really good sex. She halfway wondered if she should take him on just to show him the true path to nirvana. The way to so many serious, solid, screaming sensations, you wind up blind, for an instant, at the moment of climax, and that lifts you into the clouds and dances with you amongst the stars. He looked enough like Chris Evans for her to want to, and she knew that if she did, he would never cast a glance at a Barbi-bitch like Stasi...with her too-tight designer outfits to her B-Hills coiffed hair to her silver manicure...again. 

Oh, and everything about her was silver! From the molding atop the polished white walls to the floorboards to the drapes drooping next to the sliding glass doors that opened to the silver railing on the balcony...and even the fucking sheets, comforter and duvet! Add to that a six-inch deep carpet in black and white waves with a faux polar bear rug atop it, anyone’s sense of taste would be infuriated. What made it worse was the perfectly-polished shell-like headboard done in chrome and looking like a Debbie Does Dallas version of the mirror scene in The Lady From Shanghai. Especially as it reflected Mikey’s ass moving up and down in a half-dozen angles while Stasi’s legs wiggled beside it like a crab grabbing at the air. 

Talk about creepy. 

At least the room faced south, to overlook the LA basin. Much better than east or west, where the morning or evening sun might have blasted in against that headboard and shot out beams so hot they could whip up fires as far away as Malibu. 

Or Silver Lake. 

Of course, it was like that throughout the condo. White everything with silver-framed photos of Stasi on the walls. No plants to cut through the knife-like decor. The only books were on coffee and end tables, all of them wrapped in polished silver bindings. 

A peasant’s version of nouveau-riche. 

But what could one expect? Daddy built his multi-millions in real estate, working out of a double-wide mobile home in Phoenix for the first ten years. Nothing wrong with that; but daddy was also one of those people who thought wearing ten-thousand dollar bespoke suits with ostrich cowboy boots that cost two-thousand dollars, having a twenty-six year-old trophy wife slapped into a penthouse on Phoenix’s North Central, and buying yourself a seat in the Legislature meant he had class. 

As for Stasi’s mom? Playing drunk golf in cotton, khaki and turquoise ensembles outside a faux-Pueblo condo that fronted an evergreen course that cost more to keep watered than the interest payments on America's national debt proved the same lack of taste. Silly people who thought wasting money meant they were important, and who stupidly thought it also bought respect. It was so steeped in desperation, she might have felt sorry for Stasi had the little bitch not caused the death of someone Carli loved. 

So Carli had cringed her way through the rooms, looking for the best spot to sit and wait for her prey to come home. Her baby-bro, TF, a massive computer maven, had learned Mikey had reservations at Rudolpho’s Bistro, a fine dining establishment where they charge to breathe the air and recommend at least two hours to truly enjoy your repast. 

Carli didn’t ask how he had sourced this info; he was so secretive about his abilities, he wouldn’t have told her, anyway. As he had once said in response to a question, “Better not to know and be able to go than not.” 

It seemed to make sense, at the time. 

Anyway, despite the building’s vaunted security system, TF had fixed it so Carli could sneak in without being seen, heard, noticed or recorded, he was such a computer maven. 

If that description’s still used, today, Carli thought. 

“The residents have key fobs to get in and out,” he had told her. “If that’s lost, they have passcodes to override it.” 

“Even the garage?” she had asked. 

“That’s a micro-bug fixed on the car. It’s automatic and the code is noted in their system. Too easy.”

“And you’ve got the override?” 

He had cast her a withering glance that all but screamed, Carls, c’mon

So in through the garage she had gone. In fact, the only negative aspect was that she had to race up twenty-five flights of stairs within a certain timeframe to get to Stasi’s floor. TF had set their cameras to loop for a certain amount of time, and while she was in good shape that was still more Stairmaster than she’d done in the last six months. 

“Damn me for slacking off,” she’d gasped and grumbled at level fifteen. 

But they had timed it so she could pop into the condo before the loop ended. Then she had time enough to find the spare keys to Stasi’s big, bad, silver Mercedes, and take some time to Zen. Which she did...

Until she heard the elevator chime and Mikey purr, “Y’know, Stasi, I don’t need another drink...not right now...” 

“Oh, are we in a horny hurry? Or about to fall flat?” 

God, even the tone of her voice was obnoxious. 

Both had sounded a bit drunk with wine and lust, if one went by the giggling and growling between them. So into the closet Carli had slipped, leaving the door open just enough to peek out and watch...and that is where the porn had come in. 

She wasn't interested in watching Stasi being undressed in worshipful caresses by big, bad Mikey; it was him she took pleasure in as he doffed his shirt to reveal a well-shaped back. Then dropped his pants to expose tight, dove-gray boxer-briefs covering a nice round butt. Then yanked the briefs off to verify he was definitely concu-boy material. 

Oh, and could I handle that, Carli giggled to herself. 

Finally, he and Stasi had fallen on the bed and after some kissy-poo he had started his bunny-humping against her. Normally, Carli would consider that a demerit; she liked men who were easy riders, not guys who thought they were on a bucking bronco. But some good clenching action by his cheeks mitigated the notion. As did his strong legs and fine hands, and how his lips focused on her breasts and neck at the same time. 

Carli figured he was not like this with his lady, by marriage. The wife was probably there to make a home and care for the kids and present a nice patriarchal front to the world. Which was one reason Carli had sworn never to get married. She had long seen the institution as a means for males to own females and was nowhere near about being equals. To those men, the home-bound-partner was in one cubicle of their tiny brains, the world of available women in another, and thanks to their sense of self-importance, everything was wired to the head of their dick instead of the one on their shoulders.

Friday, April 29, 2022

Slowly rebounding...

Being a self-indulgent artist who considers himself a writer, I fell into one of my I just can't face this, right now modes. Or moods. Whichever. So I'm a bit behind schedule for CK. Didn't even look at it, yesterday or today. 

I'd forgotten how tired working full-time makes me, and I did a 40 hour week, this week. There were issues with transport companies and clients and all the attendant nonsense of shipments getting bumped or misrouted that caused a lot of scrambling to fix. The woman I work with did most of the scrambling while I handled her overload. She's one of those people who's got a stranglehold on keeping things straight in her head. That will never be me.

But at the end of the day, I'm still exhausted, mainly from the emotional toll of dealing with problems, so just could not shift my focus. I only expected to work 2 days, so stupidly figured I could use W-F to complete this polish of CK. But on top of this, I have a packing job coming up in mid-May, in Washington DC, and another probable one in the pipeline. Never assume you will have plenty of time when nearing your deadline, 

The book doesn't really need a lot of work. This is just a polish and keeping an eye out for typos. But it's still time-consuming. I'd wanted to be done with the paperback and have it off to Ingram tomorrow. Now it will be middle of next week, at the earliest, and that's if they don't need me to work on Monday.

I'd turn them down, but this move has put me deep in the red so I can't just shrug off the money. I'm getting surgery on my eyelids, Wednesday, so will have problems after that, as well. Story of my life, always on the edge, financially, and piss-poor at time management.

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Tired...

Had a bit of a crash and burn, here. I've been working so hard on Carli's Kills, I think I've overdone it. I'm at the point where I'm changing words like and and the and so and still to make things move a bit easier, and suddenly I'm exhausted. I need to let this book go and accept it's as good as I can get it, now. Otherwise, I'll spend another six months polishing it.

So I'll finish this pass over it and, no matter what, it's done. I'll still find typos, later, I'm sure. Stupid things that I should have noticed but no longer can. Even my editor misses typos, and she's pretty damn good. I read a fascinating story about a first edition of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, printed in 1884, having a couple of typos. Those made it worth a lot of money. Maybe I should work CK up in a hardcover to see if a hundred years after my death it'll be worth a million bucks.

I'll need to take a break from writing, to recharge my batteries. I have a lot of books about The Troubles to read, so may indulge in those, again. Prep myself for the latest draft of the first book of A Place of Safety. I may also take some time to work up another adult coloring book, along the lines of Demented Dreams (of guys in trouble). It's a lot of work but takes me in a different direction, creatively.

I'm debating working one up to illustrate a part of Hunter. Or maybe a new one using aliens or time travel or something quirky. I once wrote a long-form poem about prisoners who escaped from jail and took a guard hostage...then had fun with him. That might be interesting, turning into a modern version of Tom of Finland or even more fun -- Etienne...

It would certainly serve my prurient needs...even at my age...

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Never stop thinking...

Last night, I met an old friend and his wife at their hotel in Niagara Falls. Plan was to go look at the falls and maybe cross to Goat Island, but it started pouring rain, sheeting down like it was Houston, so that was out of the question. We scurried around to an Indian food restaurant near the hotel and spent hours there, just talking and eating.

I had a tasty lamb curry while they did chicken tikka masala. Got sick as a dog, en route home, because they used a chicken stock base for their curry. My body does not like chicken. Made it home, but only barely.

I know Andreas from when I was at UT in Austin. We both took a film editing class under Edward Dmytryk and reworked a fight scene from Gunsmoke. It's one where Matt Dillon stops an abusive man from roughing up his daughter or girl friend or wife or something. My way of working it was to focus on the fear of the girl as Dillon interfered in the man's abuse. I got good response.

There was one point in the footage where the abuser was on the ground after the fight and pulled a pistol. We had a choice of 4 or 5 different angles of Dillon kicking it out of his hand. I used the simplest one and shifted to the girl almost smiling. Andres used all of them, over and over, making it look like Dillon was trying to kick the man to death. It got quite a reaction, and he got a wary side-eye from Dmytryk.

But that's him. That was 42 years ago and we've kept in casual touch. I stayed with him when I visited Hamburg, and he showed me the whole damn city AND Lubeck in 4 days, not counting the night of the World Cup qualifiers Germany was playing in. By the time we were done, I needed a vacation from my vacation. Damn. Fortunately, my next stop was Paris, by myself. Very relaxing.

I helped him locate some of his German relatives in Texas. I visited him and his wife, Nino, in Bremen. We've chatted online and shared stories we're writing. One of my oldest friends.

Just a long way of saying I got nothing done on CK, yesterday, and tonight I'm only 10% into the last polish...and already found a couple of typos. One was a word missing; one was an extra space between two words. It'll take some time to get this done right. Dammit.

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Working and visiting...

I've got the formatting done on CK, except for putting the corresponding page numbers on the table of contents, so will be taking a couple of days off to deal with work and see some friends from Germany, who are visiting Niagara Falls. Have dinner with them. A drink or two. Talk about how things are, were and should be.

What I'm doing at work is helping prep the returns from the New York Book Fair. It ended just a few hours ago, and we've got dozens of dealers to get back to the UK and EU, not to mention around the US. A bit of drama occurred because JetBlue didn't fly our show trunk on the same flight as the crew that went down to NYC to move the dealers off the floor. No one knew where it was so I wound up going out to the airport and talking to people, and that's when everything got on track.

To be sure, it wasn't because of anything I did. I just got a ticket agent to find out what was going on, and she said the trunk was put on the wrong airline's belt after being screened. Because the crew had filed a claim with JetBlue, they were able to check on the trunk and make sure it did make it to JFK...which it did. But it wasn't delivered to the book fair till nearly 2pm, which is when we would be handing out the labels and documents. It was a scramble, but they were able to do it.

I'm glad I wasn't there, though. Don't like tense situations.

I've gotten more good response on my cover, so I'm going with it. It's ready to upload, once I have the text set. I'm going through, again, to check and make sure I've gotten all the typos out, that I can. Sometimes it's just having two spaces between words instead of one that needs to be fixed, something that is very difficult to catch. I found a couple instances of it just in doing the formatting, so I'll be keeping an eye out for that. 

Then comes shifting the book into e-format. That's a bit trickier, but I think I can get it done in time for the beginning of the month. Here's the avatar for it, BTW.

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Ta-dah!


This is the cover for the paperback edition. Reaction has been good, so I'm not fucking with it. I'll get it out as soon as I can, but looks like it'll be around mid-May. The e-book will be earlier, like about the beginning of the month. I want to get it done before my eyelid surgery, on the 4th. I doubt I'll be up for much of anything, after that.

I still have formatting to do on the text of the story, so not sure the wordage will remain the same...but the pagination will. I went through, just a bit ago, to make the breaks consistent, and found I've got lots of space at the end of most of the chapters to play with. Here's what they're going to be named.

You Gotta Start Somewhere
Cantina Nights Ain't Right For Fightin'
Call Me...Stasi
A Shift in the Supposed Meaning of the World
Word Spreads Like Buttah
Incomplete Pass, Second Down
Double Your Pleasure
Two For One Ain't Fun
Sete de Sangue...or Something
No Picnic in a Park
Beyond the Tipping Point
Chase'd...Not Chaste
Jumping the Gun...or Shark
Fully Zeke'd
One Step Closer to a Mighty Chaos
Pinball Wizarding of the Mind
Coyotes Choose to Dine In
Re-birthing and Lies Told About It

They may change when I do the polish. A couple are a bit unwieldy...but that can be decided later, once I have the page numbers in. For now? I'm happy.

Friday, April 22, 2022

Done, again...

CK is set and partially formatted; I still need to add the headers and page numbers...maybe do another polish, but it's definitely 232 pages and 85,977 words. I know this is pretty much set because for the last hundred pages of text it consistently danced around at just under 86K for wordage, and the page count never varied.

I've found that my books set their size, and once they've decided, nothing I do will change it. Short of a page one rewrite. And I'm not doing that for this. The first, second and third acts, as well as the center point, line up too neatly.

I'm happy with what I've got, now. Think it's as good as I can make the story, so I've gotten the template for the cover and will start on that over the weekend, to give myself a break from the text. I'm also changing the intent of the story from revenge to one of justice, which was denied to Lara but is brought home in horrific ways by Carli.

Paperback will be $14.95 and ebook $2.99, and I'm doing that through Smashwords. I'm just too leery of Kindle and their requirements and sneakiness. I know it will probably mean less in sales, but I don't care. What matters is, Carli's and Zeke's stories have been told.

I managed to finish the book even though I got my 4th Covid shot, yesterday...and right on schedule, 12 hours after, I got chills and aching in my muscles and joints. Nowhere near as bad as the previous ones, but still there. Made for a cranky night and much use of a heating pad, today. But now I'm covered, and I'm still wearing a mask when I go out.

Half just to piss off the right wing nuts.

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Still at it...

I'm about halfway through this polish of CK and feel it's becoming still tighter and clearer. I'm prone to overwriting things to make them obvious, and I'm doing my best to get rid of that tendency. I'm also removing moments like that in this book. It's slow going, especially since I'm also checking the formatting as I go, but it's getting there. Next comes adding the headers and page numbers, and then the table of contents.

It's funny, but while Zeke is the most decent character in the book, he's not a saint. He's dealt drugs, ignored the dealing of drugs in the Cantina, helps hide the money from drugs and all that enabling nonsense. He doesn't feel guilty about any of that, but does at how he did nothing about Lara's rape, due to Dax's anger at him. I'm presenting it all matter-of-factly, so it should be interesting to hear if I get any pushback on that.

Carli smokes pot and fucks around, like crazy. She enjoys being with men, but only on an equal basis. No control or possession allowed...which makes her a bit like Stasi, the first person she kills. Difference is, Stasi's hateful for no more reason than she's spoiled and entitled. Carli's anger and need for justice stems from a need to assert control over a situation she doesn't have any real power in. 

I may not be worth much over the next couple of days, writing-wise. Tomorrow I'm getting my second booster shot for Covid, and the vaccine tends to knock me down for up to 48 hours. But I now live in a building filled with old people and there's already been a case of Covid exposure, here, so safety and concern is the way to go.

I continue to wear a mask when I go out. The stupidity of people about this disease is beyond comprehension. But then I look at how those same idiots are banning books about racial history and removing the right to body autonomy from women and even attacking Disney for not being happy with Florida's Don't Say Gay bill, and I now understand how civilizations fall and populations get wiped out.

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

So comes the question...

How do I sell this book to people? It's got a female protagonist and the men are little more than assholes or sex objects, in it. Do women go for that? Does anyone? Am I writing a book that might sell nothing because it appeals to no one? I honestly don't know. I've never written anything like this, before...hell, never read anything like this.

I'm calling it a light summer read, with some erotica in it, but some of the sex is pretty heavily-inked with violence. The first time Carli and Zeke get together, it's almost like she's molesting him. Very dub-con. Will female readers go for that? Will any males? Could this even be considered female empowerment? Again, I honestly don't know.

I just know I'm liking the story as it's turned out, now. I love Zeke and his decency. Love Carli and her strength that's touched with uncertainty and anger...and a touch of psychosis. She's not lost in hate, not completely, and connecting with Zeke shows her a way out of it. BUT...she is a multiple killer. Our society demands punishment for that...in fiction. In reality, it's the opposite.

Except in TV shows. For example, Dexter got away with it by making their serial killer a man who kills serial killers. Kind of a cutesy premise, but it mitigated what he did. I tried to watch You, which had a book dealer as a serial killer...but aside from the creepiness of him also being a stalker, it was so full of stupid situations and occurrences, I couldn't keep going with it. 

I will admit to being fascinated by serial killers like Dean Corll, John Wayne Gacy and William Bonin, but mainly because I want to understand how they could rape and torture young men and boys. What is the fun in that? In Underground Guy, I have Devlin admit that while he sees himself as a hunter who takes what he wants, when he rapes a man, but he sees murder as a waste. Not because it's wrong but because he may want to have them, again. Which he does with one guy named Marvo, even though it's a mutual thing.

Well, I give Carli plenty of reason to do what she does, and I indicate she's aware of how, as a sniper, she grew to love the God-like aspect of it. Maybe that's part of the deal. I just wish I knew what the hell I was doing with the story.

Monday, April 18, 2022

Last pass begins

I could easily work on this story for the next five years, if I don't watch it. I can always figure out a better way to put something or neater sentence structure months after I'm done and published; I've thought that more than once in my other books. But I don't want to redo them. They're a sort of document as to my abilities and awareness at the time they were written, and it would be like saying they aren't good enough when they absolutely were.

I've got Carli's Kills down pretty damn tight. I've worked around a few issues I had and kept it honest, I think. But you never know till it's done and out there and you get feedback. Hopefully, this time I'll get some real reviews. I don't have many with my other books.

So I'm working through the formatted version, to see how long it stays. I've put in the title page and a place for the table of contents as well as copyright and acknowledgement pages. Right now it's saying 230, with everything, but we'll see how it goes once I'm done.

It's funny, but I've grown to so love Zeke, I'm glad he makes it out alive, at the end. Killing him off in the screenplay was very Hollywoodish and just didn't fit the direction the book wanted to go. Now it's more of a fun summer read, just with a serial killer as the main character.

At least she has just cause...

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Draft 6 completed

A bit simplified. A bit smoother. Not so cutsey. Carli's Kills now stands at just over 85,000 words. I did a preliminary reformat into 5.5x8.5 size, Times New Roman font, 10 point and it's 214 pages of story in a book that'll be 232 pages, once the title and stuff is included. I'm looking at a price of $14.95 for the paperback and $2.99 for the ebook.

I'm publishing it under my name. I wrote it. If someone wants to freak out over my gay erotica, let 'em. They aren't the types I want to do business with, anyway.

I'm leery of putting it up on Kindle because of all the horror stories about piracy and corrections demanded and the like. Smashwords makes a format for Kindle, but they don't have the platform to sell it through. Still thinking about that.

I'm happy with the book, now. I did a spell-check and found a couple of typos I'd missed (as had my editor), and next will go through for consistency's sake. Make sure all the characters sound like they should. All makes sense. That sort of thing.

Oh, and one should be careful with SpellCheck; several times it tried to get me to use your for you're and they're for their and vise versa. I no longer do the grammar-nazi thing with people, not when a program like this is screwing with them.

So...looks like I may get this thing published by the end of the month.

Saturday, April 16, 2022

Halfway through a rewrite

I'm going through and removing a lot of my ellipses, in CK. I got a bit carried away with them, using them as if I was aurally telling the story and they were my pauses. Kind of silly, seeing as how people need to read the book in their own way. So a lot are being replaced by simple commas. Makes everything much better.

I'm also clarifying and editing out some hyperbole to help the story glow. Right now, I'm through the point where Zeke takes Carli on his Harley to his special place, and falls asleep on her. Loki's there, too, standing guard over his boy and halfway hoping Carli gives him an excuse to tear her throat out. It's a very romantic situation.

But this is where Carli pulls back from her quest for revenge and instead decides to handle it through more legal channels. Granted, she's killed 4 people, by this point, but she doesn't see it that way. She just executed them.

I'm still having issues with Verizon's Fios dumping my signal every hour or so, and it's irritating. I spent time on the phone, again, trying to get it repaired, but within 10 minutes of hanging up...it happened, again. I'm waiting till Wednesday to deal with it, now; the guy I spoke with today sounded like he was in India and he did what he could, from there. But i'm beginning to think the router is defective and needs to be replaced. This is not normal.

The joys of technology.

Friday, April 15, 2022

Back to work on CK

Today was spent inputting corrections to typos that were pointed out by my editor as well as making notes on what I'm going to change and reworking the ending with an idea I had, just to see how it reads once I get to it. Carli's got a knife hidden in her pants, and it needs to be used.

This is all going onto draft six, with a polish to follow, at the very least. There were also a couple of points where my editor felt Carli veered from being a woman into too much like a gay man...and she was right. I don't want her to become a male character who's just presented as a female. 

But so far the consensus is, the story pretty much works. Another woman I know read it and gave me good feedback. I've got a couple of guys reading it, as well, but it doesn't look like I'm getting anything back from them too soon. One's having computer issues and the other is on radio silence.

I'm working Monday and Tuesday, next week, so want to get through this ASAP. I need to know the number of pages it will wind up as, in 5.5x8.5" format, so I can get the template for the paperback cover and dig into that. 

One issue that's come up is my inconsistent wifi. I stayed with Verizon in the move and upgraded to 300/300 speed, as is required by the building...but since doing so, I keep getting dumped 4-5 times a day. I have to shut down and reboot the router and fuck around till it decides to let me rejoin it. I don't know why. I've already spent hours on the phone with their tech people and we thought the problem was resolved, but it's not. I won't be able to call them, again, till Wednesday, now.

If we cannot get this resolved, I'll have to figure something else out. I've become reliant on steady service.

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Regression...

Finally got my wifi put in...and an hour after the tech left, it started fucking around on me. Kept dumping me. So I tried to contact Verizon but could only get their robo-voice responder and had to go through all their prompts before I could even leave a message to have a real person call me. Which I did. And I did get a call back...3 hours later...and got put on hold, for ten minutes before he came on the line.

Seems rebooting the router helped clear up the issue. I'd have done that, but on my old router, there was an on-off switch and this one doesn't have one. Apparently, you have to unplug it, wait 30 seconds, then plug it back in. Shit. But that seems to have handled the issue. The techie suggested I do it once a month, something else I never had to do. Lord...

While the tech was installing the new router, I finished prepping RIHC6 to upload to Smashwords...ad they kept coming back to me that I had a double line link in the ToC, which I didn't. I mean, I scoured the text. 

Then I remembered the pages in the ebook are narrower, so a couple of my headings might be long enough to jump down to line 2. I narrowed them and reworked that part of the Table of Contents...and that took care of the issue. But suddenly there was another one about the book's designation.

It's already listed as Taboo Erotica, so I didn't understand the issue. I mean, all I'd done is upload a new avatar for this, but now suddenly they were nitpicking everything about it.

We went back and forth, the frustration with Verizon adding to my growing frustration with Smashwords...and now I'm just waiting to hear back from them regarding my last email to see if it will pass their latest inspection. It's available, just not in their premium catalogue.

Seems since they were taken over by Draft to Digital, they've become more difficult to deal with. Like Tumblr was just after they got bought out and before they dumped all their gay erotica. And nearly killed the company. And it does feel like they're hard on books with gay content.

The right wing scum are taking over everything. It'll be interesting to see how Carli's Kills fares, since it's a female lead raping and killing males. Very heterosexual and a male fantasy, as I understand it. In the meantime, I've dropped the price of my gay erotica to $1.99 on Smashwords, just to pump up sales.

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Silver lining...

With only my phone's hot spot to use, I've been able to focus on reworking RIHC6, and have the new chapters set up for linkage within the document. 26 of them, half in Book One and half in Book Two. This will be fun, inserting bookmarks and making sure the issues Smashwords said were part of it aren't, anymore.

It's a pretty intense book, and Antony careens very close to complete madness in his quest to first avenge Collier's death and then protect Jake. It has a globe-trotting aspect to it that I had fun with, when I wrote it, and it flows neatly into The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, even though that book is told by Jake, is a fairly straightforward murder mystery, and has very little sex in it.


An important part of the second half of the book takes place in the Paris skyscraper district, La Defense...where Antony goes to make a deal with the devil to help Jake, who has family in not only Copenhagen but Paris. Throughout this book, I interweave plot points into the sex parts and make sex an important part of the reason everything happens. Some of the references are a bit dated...but they still work, in a generic way.

Tomorrow I supposedly get my wifi hooked up, but we'll see how that goes. It'll be the third time Verizon's come out to connect me. Once that's done, I'll be finishing up RIHC6 and will return to CK. The job I was supposed to go on, in Princeton, was canceled. Not a surprise; it's not the first time this particular client has pulled the plug at the last moment. I'm glad; it means I may have a chance to get CK published before the end of the month.

That would be a hoot.

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Still no WiFi...

Having to use my phone's Hot Spot isn't optimal. This time there were two technicians and they couldn't figure out where the wire was to the box that's in my closet, so now have to come back on Thursday. Didn't help they didn't arrive till close to 3pm and the maintenance people leave at 3:30. Everyone keeps telling me Verizon knows this building, but so far all I've seen is...they don't.

I went through the notes on CK and it's not a huge number of them, so I'm not as frantic about making it happen before my eyelid surgery. Right now, I'm having to redo the ebook of Rape in Holding Cell 6. Seems when I updated the avatar, that triggered an issue with the table of contents; Smashwords is claiming I set up one link wrong...8 years ago! But they won't tell me which, and I don't find anything wonky on my file of the book.

But they insist, so...I'm redoing the whole ToC, as well as a bit of cleaning up on my style. Just replacing everything that's in quotes with italicized words and removing some other crap that's very old-hat. No other text changes...well, except updating the books I have available and noting that this is the book where Antony meets Jake, as a prelude to The Vanishing of Owen Taylor.

I'm really irritated that this popped up right now, but I need to get it done because the book is awaiting the update. I'm more than halfway through the corrections, so the new linkage for the ToC should be done, Thursday. Then I'll dig into CK. Already have ideas on what to do to make it better.

One positive note...how the underlying theme of RIHC6 is how love is undying. Antony's first real love, Collier, is murdered, then Jake comes along...but doesn't replace him or supplant him, but finds his own space to be with Antony, making him whole, again. Everything Antony does in this book stems from his love of Collier and of Jake...in a warped sort of way. I like that. Of course, the non-con sex doesn't hurt.

My apartment is at the point where I should bring a few boxes of books and DVDs in from storage to see what else I need in the way of furniture. I'm thinking another bookshelf, a couple of wall tables and some kind of shelf over the toilet...but those are not a big rush. Ii've got a place to eat, a place to work, a place to sleep, my bulletin board up, and most of my books out...so I'm doing fine.

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Hurry up and wait...

Wifi didn't get installed. The technician needed access to a room that can only be gotten into during the week, when maintenance is here. Irritating. so I did a lot of running around, shopping for shit I can't afford, and putting together my new table...which was a royal pain.

It was made in China and not very well. The machining of the piece was second-rate (holes don't line up just right, metal is very cheap, bolts are difficult to line up so they can be screwed in) but now it's done, after 5 hours on a project that shouldn't have taken more than two. Won't last very long, but it looks cool, for now.

This photo is color, believe it or not. I took it earlier, today, before I ran out to buy more shit...and return an item. It was windy and chilly....but it settled down and this was the end of the day. If you look close, just before the hill to the right, you can make out the mist coming up off Niagara Falls.

I'm finding I really like having a real view of a horizon to look out on.  I set my dining table right by the window, so when I eat I can just gaze upon it. It's surprisingly calming. No idea why.

My place is closing in on being in order, so I can start thinking about work on CK. I still need to read the editor's notes...but I already know she hates my use of ellipses...which is why I still use them, liberally...so I'm ready for her shots. I was aiming to get this done by the end of the month, but that's not looking likely. I also need to work up a cover.

We'll have to see how it goes.

Friday, April 8, 2022

New place, new beginning?


Finally moved into my new apartment, This is the sunset from my west-facing window. The buildings on the far right side of the horizon are the hotels and tower of Niagara Falls in Canada. Now it's night and I can see the lights, too. Big difference from my old place.

I'm still trying to sort out the mess around me, but I'm not rushing. I've gotten feedback on Carli's Kills and want to start work on that to get it done. Good responses, so far. I also got notes from my editor but they're embedded in the document and I haven't had a chance to crack that open, yet. Tomorrow I'm getting wifi so won't have to use my company phone as a hot spot, then I can get the whole process going, again.

This place is fairly quiet. About the same amount of traffic noise, but not much more. I'm exhausted from all the running around, working, building of furniture -- I now have a real desk instead of a table, to work on -- and need to get only a few more things to finalize the place.

I keep getting a weird sense of deja vu at moments, throughout this move. Like when I was building that desk and at the 75% done point just knew I'd done this before. But I haven't. Same for when I made a pitcher of iced tea. It was spooky.

Hell, I'm spooky. But now I'm a livable space, left my previous apartment with good vibes, have a fridge with a freezer to make ice...and feel very satisfied with myself...for the moment.

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Major changes...

Today was spent packing my books and stuff into boxes to cart over to the new place, meaning I rearranged a shitload of dust and my eyes and nose are NOT happy. And that 's with me wearing a mask and using eye drops. Shit, you could have grown potatoes in some of that dust.

But...a day like this is helping me break away from various concepts I should not have. Like with my book, Bobby Carapisi. I'd initially offered it as another non-con erotica piece...but it's not. It's the story of three men and how each deals with sexual assault...two as victims, one as perpetrator.

Each character tells his own story in his own voice. That meant building three completely different methods of speaking and describing and seeing and word choices and everything for Eric, a gay waiter; Bobby, a rising baseball star; and Allen, a customer service rep who with two friends kidnapped and raped each of them.

Eric turns angry and self-destructive after it happens to him and he is dissed by the cops, the medical profession and the DA's office. And this is despite him having a supportive family. When he learns another man was raped, too, he sets in motion events that lead to tragedy.

Bobby refuses to face it; just wants to let it go...but because he's a minor celebrity, his refusal to talk sets nasty rumors going...from drug abuse to adultery to being a closet case. Even his wife questions his version of events, finally leading to his suicide.

Allen struts and brags about how he didn't rape either man but convinced them to be with him, claiming he acted alone...but bit by bit reveals he was in an abusive relationship with the real rapist, and is really taking full credit for the rapes as a way to assuage his guilt. He only starts revealing what actually happened because Eric is trying to atone for his part in Bobby's death and manipulates him into doing so.

Hardly sounds like a fun erotic read, does it...

So I'm shifting my plan for it. I took it out of my For Adults Only section on my site and put is on The Lyons' Den page. Complete opposites...comedy and tragedy...just like the world of drama demands. And will open it wider. I don't know why I haven't done this, before, because I'm proud of what I managed to do. It's not perfect...it could have used more humor to alleviate the darkness, but I do think it's honest.

Saturday, April 2, 2022

New story idea...dammit...

In my SF-Horror book, The Beast in the Nothing Room, the terror comes from a person in the future who's found a way to circumvent their world's strict guidelines involving traveling back in time. Thanks to good documentation, this person is able to find men who are about to violently die in car wrecks or plane crashes, capture them into a holding area so they can be raped and tortured, then put them back in place the instant before they wind up dying.

The story starts out with Finn, my MC, waking up in a nothing of a room. He is undressed, raped and forced to ejaculate, then is dressed and put back where he was take from. but not to be killed. The reason for this is because they've been searching for him and trying to do it in as unobtrusive a way as possible to avoid messing with his future.

He's a cop so looks into it, finds other men this has happened to...two of whom were reported dead but actually did not die...and pieces the puzzle together in steps and stages as he's taken again and again. I had one reader tell me she had to put the book down, at times, it was so scary. Very proud of that reaction. And even prouder of my tag line for the book -- How do you stop a serial killer who kills no one and doesn't even exist?

It tapped into an aspect of another horror story of mine -- Blood Angel. That one's vampires in New Orleans after Katrina, and the vampire queen, Gabrielle Bayeux, fixates on a damaged, young jazz musician named Tristan Lee. She wants to lure him into joining her in her non-death. It's all mood and style and casual horror...but something Gabrielle alluded to was how she has managed to not only feed but grow impossibly rich over her thousand years of existence. 

Disasters. Totalitarian governments who disappear people. Wars, where if someone vanishes people will assume they were killed in the conflict. The world provides plenty of victims to choose from. Soldiers. Civilians. They're all food to vampires...and opportunities for profit to a clever one.

The slaughter in Ukraine brought this back to me. The Russians leaving their dead behind. Bombs and fires everywhere. Bodies lying in the street. Mass graves of people the Russian terrorists executed. Like in Georgia and Syria and Sudan...I could build a horror story out of all that evil that would scar people for life. It's still formulating in my head...but it does fit neatly into both stories' parameters.

I just don't know if it's right for me to do that, now.

Friday, April 1, 2022

Busy day...

Got the keys to my new apartment. Came home to start packing the last of my books. Tomorrow my bed and sofa get delivered to the new place, then I'll get groceries. It's larger than where I live now, by double, but since it's Senior Housing I get a cut rate. Being old has a couple of perks, now and then. One being I can see Canada from my windows.

I spent half an hour working with my internet provider to change my address. They guy kept trying to get me to take cable and phone service and bundles, all for just $199 before taxes and fees. As it is, my bill's going up by $20 a month because they now rent you the router. Oh, I could buy it for nearly $400 or provide my own. Considering how these things go, I'd rather have the ability to upgrade it without a huge outlay, again. But that won't be installed until the 9th. Grr.

I also worked up a fresh cover for Rape in Holding Cell 6. The front is pretty much the same (I removed the by above my name is all) but the back is completely different. I had to do this because I stupidly put the price on the previous edition and I'm down to making $.09 a sale. Now I can update the price as needed.

I've got four people reading CK to give me feedback, and I've asked them to be brutal. I am so lost in that story I have no idea if it makes sense or reads well or anything. I'm less worried about typos, right now, that it just being a piece of shit. We'll see what happens.

My main moving day is going to be Monday. I have a dental appointment at 3:15 but nothing for the rest of the day...and since I'm in the office Tuesday through Friday in preparation for the NY Book Fair, it's now or middle of the week. And I have to be out by the 10th to keep from paying more rent, here.

Damn, I'm tired.