Didn't write word one on LD, tonight. Just didn't feel up to it. I'm in NYC, tomorrow, but if all goes according to plan, I'll have plenty of time at JFK to work on it, since I'll have my laptop with me and maybe half a day's work to take care of. I'm still trying to figure out how to make this a full novel instead of a long novella. I could throw in an off-beat sex scene, some moments between Daniel and his mother and sister, more about his relationship with Tad. But only if they don't interfere with the story's progress and pacing.
Or I COULD just drop it as unrealistic and get back to POS. There's no law making me do this...just laziness and fear of the responsibility Brendan's story entails...and this Quixotic quest to see if I can write comedy.
It's funny, but the thing I truly identify with in Kurosawa's "Stray Dog" is how responsible Toshiro Mifune's character feels when the gun that was stolen from him is used in ever more violent crimes. Everyone around him says it's not his fault...but he knows better. And he obsesses with getting the gun back, to the point of near madness. I've watched the movie three times, and each time it digs deeper into my soul.
I feel that way about my stories and characters. And when I let them down, I pull on a beaut of a guilt complex. I feel it, right now, as regards Brendan...but at the same time, Daniel is demanding his bit of attention...and I can't ignore him. And the fact that I finished BC3 finished my obligation to Bobby, so that eliminated one wall between me and POS.
And yes, I'm crazy. No question. What sane person talks like this? Maybe I'm feeling it a bit more acutely since I'm writing a story about a man whose characters are trying to take over his life. He even figures he's gone beyond the point of a padded room and needs something more like an exorcist. And I'm tapping into that.
God, I hope people get at least a couple of laughs out of this story, once it's done.