Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Better is better

Illness gone...but LOUD construction at work. Nothing can be simple, can it? Nope. Even plans that seem rock solid and ready to put into action can become majorly complex. I can't really discuss the sudden shift in what had been set in stone for weeks (our client wouldn't like it), but one thing I've learned on this job in the last couple years is, I can adjust and make it still work.

Something else I learned is, I never really believed that about myself until recently. I sort of knew I could do it, in my head if not my heart, and even had occasions where I had to change things in short projects I was making, though they usually turned out less than satisfactory. On a couple of occasions, the final result was so god-awful, I came damn near giving up film altogether. (Old story, I know.)

But now I can see on many of those occasions, I hadn't really made any backup plans for when things went wrong. And I never let anyone else help in my plans, so I didn't have a second head to use to make the proper adjustments. But while doing these packing jobs, I've found it's not only necessary to have contingency plans, it makes you less prone to freaking out or copping an attitude. I've also found that my confidence is building in my ability to adapt.

During this last packing trip, I even noticed I have a sort of mantra..and I'm not sure when I started it. But I just shrug and think, "What happens is what happens and I'll deal with it when it happens." It's been my basic attitude about this coming job, which may well take place in a blazing snowstorm. Or not. I'll deal with it when it happens.

It's weird when you finally notice something you may have been doing for a while but weren't conscious of. Not really conscious...just sort of vaguely aware. It's like you suddenly see a new person staring back at you from the mirror.

Of course, it might just be my psychotic blocks are coming down and I'm better able to pay attention to reality. Hm...not sure I like that.

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