Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

First pass

A quick workout of a cheapie script -- "Carli Kills", a woman seeks revenge on the men who raped and killed her sister. So far, I've got a gentle bartender, a lovelorn waitress and a crooked sheriff in the mix, too.

I'm doing this on Word...which I used to use all the time but now is just plain unwieldy. Final Draft spoiled me.

Something else -- I so loath the WiFi at this hotel, I'm close to moving to another one. It's bumped me off twice, this evening.




The front door swings open and a MAN and WOMAN tumble in, kissing, grabbing at each other. Both have tattoos and piercings. Beard and a belly on him, thick blond curls and big boobs on her. True biker trash.

No lights needed as they stumble to a back room, munching each other’s lips.

Oh, baby – fuck.

That’s the idea, asshole.

They laugh and crash into –


They flop onto the bed. She straddles him. Rips open his shirt. Tattooed wings stretch over his chest. He grabs her boobs. She grabs his hands.


She spreads his arms out. Bends down to kiss him. Undoes his jeans.

He twists around, flips her under him. She slaps his butt. He laughs.

Careful what you get started, bitch.

I know exactly what I’m doing.

She pinches his nips. He yelps. Yanks her legs into the air.

Me, too.

Her hands reach to the sides of the bed. She’s ready. He’s ready.

Her right hand slips under the pillow. Pulls out a syringe.

He yanks his pants away from his ass. Pulls her closer.

She jabs the syringe into his butt!

What the fuck, bitch?! What kind of – of kinky shit’re – are you – fuck…what’d you do?

He passes out.


The biker wakes. He’s strapped to a table, naked. Gagged. Can’t move. His eyes go wide with fear.

The room is draped with plastic sheets. Four lamps – one at each corner of the room – give the only light.

The woman enters from between two sheets, now wearing a plastic poncho and nothing else. She holds an electric carving knife.

Good, you’re awake. That’ll make this fun. So…which one do I want first? The flames? The wings? The naked girl?

She’s referring to tattoos on his ankle, chest, and forearm.

The naked girl. Better if she not see what happens.



He screams through his gag. Bucks at the table.

The sheets are sprayed with blood.

The woman is all but orgasmic in her enjoyment of his pain. She turns off the knife. She is covered with blood. She tenderly lays the detached skin on a cookie sheet.

Now the flames.

The knife whirs into action. The Biker SCREAMS.


The Biker’s bloody body flops into the dirt, next to an ant bed. All of his tattoos have been cut off…and he’s been castrated.

The woman rolls up the plastic. Shoves it in the bed of a pickup truck that has a cover. She’s somewhat cleaned up. She looks around.

They are in the middle of nowhere.

She looks at the body. Spits on it.

Let the ants have you, and the vultures.

She gets in the truck and drives away.

The biker’s hand clenches in pain as ants crawl over it. HE’S STILL ALIVE.


The woman drives, impassive.


The woman showers away the remains of the dirt and blood…and the color in her hair.

She dries off. Now she’s a brunette.


She finishes making the bed then sits at a computer. Opens a folder with a set of JPEGs in it. One of them is the biker she just killed – his name: Grady Barnes. She moves him into a folder titled: DONE.

She goes online and opens a blog – CARLI KILLS. She inputs –

(known as CARLI from now)
I don’t know who said vengeance is a dish that should be served cold, or something like that, but it tastes fantastic. I wonder if stage 2 will feel the same.

She looks at three other photos in the same folder – all biker trash with the usual tattoos.

Max Castillo. Looks big. Fu Manchu moustache. He chews railroad spikes for breakfast, he’s so mean.

Jack Hornsby. Smiling eyes and scruffy beard. Your typical brown-noser who thinks he’s tough.

Zeke Willis. Sideburns and a Van Dyke beard. Total “I don’t care” attitude hiding hurt-puppy eyes.

Carli just smiles. Focuses on Zeke. Inputs—

I got a feeling it will.

Max seems to glare out at her.


Michael said...

It made me cringe and that says a lot.

JamTheCat said... I just need to figure out what it's all about and how to make it real horror...

Michael said...

I'm sure it will be great. Still hoping someone will eventually throw a huge amout of cash at you to turn HTRASG, RIHC6, or BC into a film though.

JamTheCat said...

Tell you what, Michael -- if you could pull together about $400,000, I'd turn HTRASG into a film starring at least one porn star...whom I'd let you pick...and watch as we shoot his scenes.

Not that I'm trying to persuade you to rob a bank or steal from grandma or anything unsavory like that. Honest. I'm not. Really. Mean it. ;)

Michael said...

Porn stars are usually terrible actors. HTRASG is a disturbing but enthralling story with a surprisingly sympathetic and complex lead character. As ugly as it is, it also has some moments that are outright beautiful. There's so much more to the story than sex. I know it's a "boner book" or whatever but I've never thought of these stories as just kinky gay erotica and it's always bothered me that they are categorized like that. I can think of plenty of books and films that are just as full of kinky sex (but the straight kind) that aren't banished into the niche erotica market. That said, maybe there's a porn star with the acting chops to pull it off but I'd rather see a really talented and daring actor take the role. If he wasn't a little too old looking Michael Fassbender would be great and he's shown his cock in "Shame".

Anyway, I'm going to work on stealing that 400k for you.

JamTheCat said...

No argument on the porn stars. I've seen a couple that were decent actors -- like Conor Habib, who would be totally wrong for Curt...though he would work as Shayes...hmm -- but none with the chops to keep Curt sympathetic.

So...are we gonna be partners in crime? Do I get to put your name on as a producer? Just no drug money, please; the Feds might seize it to give to the banks.

Michael said...

I'm starting an Etsy store. I'll have your 400k in no time at all.

Yes I'll want a producer credit and let me play Curt's prison snuggle buddy.

JamTheCat said...

That's not a bad idea, Michael.

And I'll put you in. Get you ready to play Matthew when we make RIHC6v2. are talking about the guy Curt does at the beginning and not the guy at the end, who's just a petting toy...right?

Michael said...

Actually I was thinking of the petting toy at the end but, come to think of it, I'd totally play the guy at the beginning.

Don't even tease me about a RIHC6 movie. That would make me so happy though I don't know if anyone could be as perfect and beautiful as Jake is in my head. Are you still planning on completing that Jake story at some point? I'm sure the screenplays are the priority right now but I do hope we'll see further adventures of Tone/Jake/Matthew eventually.

JamTheCat said...

LOL...thanks...and casting Jake would be a problem of epic proportions.

I do plan to finish Jake's novel/mystery. I'm just trying to get to where I'm financially viable, again.