Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Taking stock, today...

I've been beating up on myself for not achieving more in my life, up to this point. So today I decided to work out exactly what I have done...just in the last 10 years. And once I started paying attention to reality instead of my misconceptions, I started seeing a lot of what I wasn't listening to.

To start -- I've published 7 books; 10 if you consider Bobby Carapisi started out as 3 volumes and Rape In Holding Cell 6 was 2 volumes, initially. I've written my 8th book -- The Vanishing of Owen Taylor -- and have three more well en route to being done -- Bugzters, Underground Guy and Place of Safety.

I've also been pretty damn brave about the books, considering the subject matter of my first three. Very confrontational...which got three of them got banned, twice, and I still cannot get Amazon or Kobo to carry two of them in e-book. But I did face Amazon down the first time they dropped How To Rape A Straight Guy. Got them to officially agree the book was not pornography, and I kept a copy of that e-mail, as proof.

On top of that, I've written several screenplays -- The Alice '65, Carli's Kills, Blood Angel, Dair's Window, 5 Dates, Marked for Death, and We-Come -- as well as rewritten a couple of my scripts into a leaner, cleaner style. And I've done well in screenplay competitions, with them and a few other scripts. Return To Darian's Point even won me some prizes.

Plus I moved cities twice...including to a place I'd never been to before...took care of my mother for 15 months while barely making a living, tried to start my own business, and managed to help keep my youngest brother off the street despite making 25% less in salary than I did in 2006. My sister and I even helped get him to a doctor and dentist to be taken care of, which wasn't easy since he has a morbid fear of them.

And then there are the seminars and classes and professionals I hired to help me get to be better in my writing and my pursuit of a career -- these are just some of positive things I've done. It's so easy to remember the negative crap and forget about or shrug off the good. I could be the poster child for that. Even now, I'm telling myself...but you still haven't achieved what you wanted.

Which is true...but I also have yet to give up trying.

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