I spent today adjusting and cutting and re-emphasizing the 4th and 5th chapters of A65...and it works better. It took me a while to work in the little reveal of how Adam looks once Orisi's done with him, but I think it still has the right effect. I left in him getting stoned without realizing it, and I expanded on his arguing against staying the night. Increases his disorientation.
There's a fair amount of restructuring to do in the next four chapters, because that's as far as I got in adding in Casey's POV so it's not so bad, really. It'll just take some time and care...and attention. And I'm finding I pretty much get wiped out on this story after 5-6 hours at it.
It'd funny...I say I trust my characters, but by paying more attention to Casey than to Adam, for a while, it took him slamming on the brakes and nearly killing the story before I heard what he was telling me. Which turned out to be right. Tolstoy can shift from one character's inner world to another's without trouble, but I'm no Tolstoy. Doubt I ever will be. I guess that's why I prefer to work in first person; it's an absolute POV as opposed to an omniscient one.
I finally had dinner and watched Star Trek: Beyond...and found it only barely interesting. Jeremy Sisto is still a great Spock, and Karl Urban and Simon Pegg do well as Bones and Scotty, but I'm not a huge Chris Pine fan, and the script sacrificed originality for pacing...and complete coherence. Too many easy outs for characters in danger mode, and one shift in the villain that made absolutely no sense to me. Oh, well...
Tomorrow I'm watching something classy -- like Out of the Past or Stairway to Heaven, both of which are phenomenal.
There's a fair amount of restructuring to do in the next four chapters, because that's as far as I got in adding in Casey's POV so it's not so bad, really. It'll just take some time and care...and attention. And I'm finding I pretty much get wiped out on this story after 5-6 hours at it.
It'd funny...I say I trust my characters, but by paying more attention to Casey than to Adam, for a while, it took him slamming on the brakes and nearly killing the story before I heard what he was telling me. Which turned out to be right. Tolstoy can shift from one character's inner world to another's without trouble, but I'm no Tolstoy. Doubt I ever will be. I guess that's why I prefer to work in first person; it's an absolute POV as opposed to an omniscient one.
I finally had dinner and watched Star Trek: Beyond...and found it only barely interesting. Jeremy Sisto is still a great Spock, and Karl Urban and Simon Pegg do well as Bones and Scotty, but I'm not a huge Chris Pine fan, and the script sacrificed originality for pacing...and complete coherence. Too many easy outs for characters in danger mode, and one shift in the villain that made absolutely no sense to me. Oh, well...
Tomorrow I'm watching something classy -- like Out of the Past or Stairway to Heaven, both of which are phenomenal.
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