Kick in the ass...

Seeing my brother now, after I last saw him just two weeks ago, shows how severely he's been wasting away. If he weighs more than eighty pounds, I'd be surprised. And it's horrifying to watch.

And a reminder that when death has decided it's time to take you, it's time.

I'm ten years older than him. Granted, I've taken better care of myself, relatively speaking, and made certain to check in with health professionals to do better...while I'm nowhere near perfect with it.

But he did nothing. Wouldn't see a dentist till it was too late to save his teeth. Got one cataract removed but never went back for the other, even though our sister was paying for it. Smoked. Drank. Ate very little so was always rail thin...something I haven't been able to say about myself since college. Hadn't had a checkup in decades.

But he is emphasizing in me a realization that I won't have all that much time left, as mentioned in previous posts. I could have dropped dead this morning just trying to get from my hotel to the airport. They don't offer shuttle service, so I decided to walk the mile and a half.

That was a struggle, since there were no sidewalks along the roads leading to Austin's airport. And once at the car rental area, no signage telling me where my car was. And poor signage leading me to I-35 south. If I hadn't already known where I needed to go, I'd have been lost.

So I'm embracing my inner demons and accepting the direction Taking Nicky is going...threatening to kidnap and assault a man who's married and has kids as a trial run for Nicky's abduction. Rett even refers to himself as a father-fucker, now.

Good thing it's all fantasy...