Redone...

Got word from Ingram they've reset my cover to glossy so ordered a copy via rush service. I hope to get it quickly. I'm up for jury duty next week, and would like to get it on a day I don't have to go in.

In Buffalo, you don't report to the criminal courts till they want you. They send you a number and you call the night before to see if they've chosen it. If they have, you go in and, I think, join the pool to possibly sit on a jury. Very different from the last time I did jury duty. That was in Houston, and they had us come down and wait in a room till the end of the week.

Back then, I got called for a juvenile delinquency case that should have lasted half a day, but wrangling by the DDA and defense kept it up for 3 days. And while we had the feeling something had been going on with that kid, the DDA didn't prove their case and we found for the defense. Took half an hour to decide, on the first ballot. Then we sat around for another half hour so it wouldn't look like we'd rushed anything.

So long as I can have my laptop and phone with me, I'm fine. But I'm also taking a book, just in case.

It snowed all day with strong winds blowing it sideways. Kept it from building up too much. I had been thinking of going out to get some DPZ and such, but blew it off. It's expected to get above freezing, tomorrow, so I may do some running around, then.

I may not. I dunno. I'm pretty depressed. In 3 days that convicted felon will be sworn in to the presidency, and his scowling minions are already working at tearing down everything Democrats built up since Roosevelt, while billionaires salivate at paying even fewer taxes than they already do. Demons walk the earth, and they are MAGAts.

God only knows what will happen...

Shit, shit, shit...

I got my hardback copy of APoS-HNH today and for some amazingly stupid reason I cannot even begin to understand, I asked for the dust jacket to be matte instead of glossy. ARGH!

I mean, it looks good. But if I was going for matte I'd have brightened the face a bit more and let the background stand out better. But I want the books to be of a kind, and that ain't it. So fucking stupid. I really thought I'd been careful... 

But that's the story of my life. I always fuck up somehow in some way. No matter what I do or how well I think I'm doing it, even when I'm taking care with typing out a sentence, I'll leave out a letter or reverse two of them or misspell a word...and just noticed I spelled stupid as stulpid.

I need an assistant just to keep watch for my fuckups.

At least the interior is fine. Haven't found my next typo, yet.

I've corrected the setup and when it's finalized I'll get a new copy...which means it's not time to celebrate, yet. At this rate, it never will be.

I poured some of this anger into chapter 13 of The Beast Dines Out...and god, I hate that title. My biggest fuck up, there.

If all goes well...

Tomorrow I should have a hardcover copy of Home Not Home to look through and open up and find the obligatory typo in. But once I have that, A Place of Safety is done. Completely. I mean, yeah, I still have to bring it out in paperback, which I may do sooner than later, but this is my last truly official act with the book's publishing.

 I've been at this for 18 months. Writing 6 months on each volume, give or take a bit. Having it finally completed has left a huge void in my life. Unable to settle on what to do, next. If it wasn't for having had APoS as the center of my universe for so long, with all the complaining and fighting with myself and threatening to quit and nonstop drama of it, I'd fit well into the description of a highly functioning manic-depressive.

I did work up plans for a job in LA, the middle of next month. Bought tickets, reserved a hotel and a car, and have it all worked out. It's in Anaheim, so it's well away from the fires...which will, hopefully, be extinguished by then. But you never know. I keep track of it all and worry, but the fact is it won't be done till it's done.

I know what I want to do next -- complete The Beast Dines Out. And I know how I'm going to start this last part...or two. But I cannot focus until I've seen HNH in my hands. I've already decided to take a photo of all three books, together, and use that as my banner on FB with a tag similar to:

Brendan Kinsella just wants to live his life. But he's a Catholic boy in Northern Ireland at the beginning of The Troubles, and events keep messing with his plans.

Hmm...not great but getting there.

Repercussions...

The California Book Fair is off. It was to be held at the Pasadena Convention Center, but that's now HQ for FEMA and the Red Cross to help evacuees from the Eaton fire. Which, honestly, is no surprise. It's going to take months just to regain some footing in LA, all across the city, and then years to recover. At best.

I'm so fed up with the MAGAt crowd's evil and hatefulness about this catastrophe, I refuse to engage with them. They are beneath contempt and unworthy of my attention. Now I just write something along the lines of Why are MAGAts so nasty...or vile...or inhuman. Or...Why do MAGAts pretend to be Christians then spit on the teachings of Christ? Just simple questions, and I ignore those who try to bait me into a back and forth.

I'm going to write a 13th chapter for The Beast Dines Out and use my anger with it. Infuse it. Dirc finds out the Area 51 people have taken Irin, and the Beast is out of range for thoughts, so he's gonna go all Rambo on 'em.

He's out in the woods with the dogs, Alger and Anth, then comes back to see the cabin crawling with researchers and lab freaks and military police...something like that...and he uses all his wiles to get information from them.

It's a bit Sense8, in a way. Rescuing someone from a well-protected hospital-style place. They did it for Nomi, at the beginning, and Wolfie, near the end...but it was done in ways I didn't really believe. All but walking out. I want something more real and complex...and I think I've already laid some of the groundwork for what will lead into that without meaning to.

So may be a 14th chapter, too. Who knows? I just know, the story's not done, yet.

Locked, not loaded...

I had a day where I could not figure out what to do. Write? Read? Watch a movie? I did manage to get my laundry done...but my time's been spent checking on people I know in LA, concerned about the fires.

One family did have to evacuate from Altadena, but think their house is still standing. Another is under a warning, thanks to the Palisades fire. And a friend lost an elderly friend to the Eaton fire. They think the alarm came while he was asleep and had his hearing aids out...and, hopefully, never woke up. Everyone else is okay.

But I am so filled with rage, reading the claims and comments on social media about the fires. MAGAt beasts laying blame on Democrats. Saying it's God's punishment. Felon#47 pissing all over Governor Newsom and actually telling people looting has been made legal! I had to back away and let myself calm down, a little.

Jesus Christ, people can be such scum. I'm still angry about it, and this may get me to dump Xitter, completely. The vile creatures crawling around on it make cockroaches seem like the purest of beings.

So I bounced back and around. Got my BP down to 145 over 93. Not good but better.

I've never much liked humanity. Some of the things that have happened to me made me leery of people. I enjoy being alone. I have a few close friends and some acquaintances, and want no more than that. Even family is better off elsewhere.

I've always known I'm more of an introvert...even when I'm writing. To me, it's amazing I've put out some of the books I have, considering how far they went.

I put my name on them as a matter of pride in the fact I was able to write them. But I barely publicize them. It's a struggle to tell people about them. I don't want to be known...

And that's why I am where I am, today. I just don't want to be known, because it might mean I'll get bothered by people.

I'm feeling very Greta Garbo, right now.

APoS synopsis 003

And this is the streamlined synopsis I did for Home Not Home:

April 1981

Brendan is called home by his terminally ill mother, hopefully to make amends. What he finds is he was lied to; Ma is still antagonistic to him. On top of this, Bobby Sands' hunger strike has driven Derry into near chaos.

But his younger sister, Maeve, is stretched to her limit because his younger brothers are focused on their own issues while his older brother is in prison and, to Brendan's horror, is being pushed to join the hunger strikers.

Maintaining as low a profile as possible, Brendan gives Maeve as much support as he can. But then Ma’s drug-addled ramblings lead him to wonder if his father's murder might have been sectarian in nature, instead of happenstance. He becomes desperate to find out the truth.

He also learns Joanna might still be alive...but cannot find a way to verify it.

Then Bobby Sands dies. Derry erupts in fury, and Brendan finds himself trapped in the chaos as the British Army comes looking for him. They believe he was involved in the bombing that nearly killed him. 

And once again, Brendan sees there is no safe place for him.

APoS synopsis 002

Here's the streamlined synopsis I've worked up for New World For Old:

1973, Houston

Seriously injured by a horrific bombing in Derry, Brendan has fallen into Akinetic Catatonia. It was also discovered he has a heart condition, so he is snuck into Houston, Texas on a medical visa to be treated by a cardiologist.

Kept hidden in his Aunt Mari’s home as he heals, he is haunted by visions of Joanna, whom he loved more than anything, being killed in the explosion.

But he does grow well enough to return to his habit of repairing items – irons, toasters, lawn mowers and the like – and he is accepted as one of the family.

He also develops tentative friendships with Everett, a graphic artist, and Jeremy, a high school friend of his cousin, Scott, and tries to rebuild his life in a city of wealth and promise. A city he believes will offer him a place of safety.

But all too quickly, Brendan learns that appearances can be deceiving...and promises are not always kept.

Home, again...

Changed planes in Chicago, so more than three hours on the first leg and an hour and a half on the second. No delays, and being Business Select meant I could snag the even more space seats at the emergency exit. So I spent the flights working on the synopses for all three volumes of APoS. Here's what I culled Derry down to:

Derry, Northern Ireland. 1966. The Catholic minority is pushing for civil rights against the vicious control of the Protestant majority. Caught in the middle of this is Brendan Kinsella, a Catholic lad who just wants to live his life and follow his dreams. But after his father is murdered by two Protestants, his mother starts the family down a path to Irish Nationalism, which he thinks is pointless.

The third of her six children, Ma constantly picks at him and belittles him as simple-minded, despite his knack for repairing things. In response, he stays quiet, observant, and consistently goes his own way. Even though it sometimes leads him into trouble. 

Through the next six years, Brendan is caught up in Civil Rights demonstrations, the attack at Burntollet Bridge, the Battle of Bogside, the following August, and other situations leading up to Bloody Sunday, in 1972. 

There is also his growing love for Joanna, a Protestant girl, a relationship which could cause both of them serious harm, should it be found out.

Throughout this, all Brendan seeks is a place of safety in a world of chaos, but he slowly comes to wonder if that is possible.

(Volume 2 and 3 will be later)

Amorality is not all that bad...

Dirc and Irin settled into a very nice life...just one where once a week they provide a healthy man to the Beast to put on its menu. Of course, with word getting out about the gold nuggets they keep getting paid in, a mini gold-rush is starting up, providing them plenty of guys to choose from. And, as Dirc says, The cops won't care so long at it's men missing, not pretty blond girls, and no bodies are being left behind dumpsters and gas stations.

I don't know why I wrote this story. Or why it's so callous and amoral. I excused what Léon did in Blood Angel by him limiting his pack to feeding on men who deserved punishment. That ain't happening here. Some of the guys they take are assholes, but it's not a prerequisite for them. Not sure what this means for my future writing.

I also did some exercises for that book on writing a good synopsis...and so far it seems what he's really referring to is a good tag line. Here's what I've done for APoS:

APoS-Derry -- Caught in the midst of chaos, Brendan Kinsella is a simple lad who just wants to live his life. But he’s a Catholic boy in Northern Ireland, so that may not be an option. Nor may his love for Joanna, a Protestant girl.

APoS-New World For Old -- After he’s nearly killed in a bombing that killed Joanna, Brendan is snuck away to his aunt’s home in Houston. As he recovers, he hopes for a new start to his life in a city of wealth and promise...but finds that may not be possible. 

APoS-Home Not Home -- Called back to Derry because his mother is dying, Brendan sneaks in to find a city torn apart by hunger strikes...that he is wanted by the authorities for questioning...and that Joanna may still be alive.

I may use these for the paperback editions.

Travel time...

I'm posting early in case I actually do get off to Seattle, because I'm not slated to land till 10:30pm Pacific time (1:30 my time), thanks to routing through Phoenix. Then I have to get a rental car and have a 45 minute drive to my hotel on the north side of the city. Probably won't get there till after midnight and to bed by 1am. Then up at 7 to buy materials before I head over.

I've been thinking about BDO and, aside from not liking the title anymore, I think I will be able to complete it in chapter 12. And it is going to be a happy ending for Dirc and Irin. So far reaction to it's been good, and I've even gotten a couple of positive emails from readers. That's always appreciated.

I still think it's best to leave it on GayDemon and not officially publish it. This way I know the audience/readers are those who want to read work like this. That can be an issue with even erotica publishers.

I'm finding the majority of those who say they can help you sell more copies of your book work with KDP, which I have zero interest in. Don't trust them one damn bit, since they're responsible for most of the issues I've had with my books. Ingram can be difficult, but there are ways to work around their actions. Smashwords is getting a bit more problematic, but will not insane. KDP is without any foundation and makes zero sense in the things they do.

No telling how long things will be okay with self-publishing. So long as Felon#45's crowd is busy trying to steal Greenland away from Denmark and retake the Panama Canal (which we never owned), I think it's safe. But once they realize their plan to annex Canada onto the US isn't going to work, they may look for easier ground to run roughshod over.

Well...as the song goes...Que Sera Sera.