Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Two steps forward, one step back

I found a flaw in the story's logic so had to backtrack and correct it.  Took all evening but it's necessary for the rest of LD to make sense.  And better to realize it now than later...or after it's been published.  Meaning I'll be going over it again, tomorrow, to make sure it's still working.  But that's the way it goes.  We get all caught up in the story and fail to notice reality, even the bizarre reality of the world I've built around Daniel and Ace and Van.

And by "we" I DO mean Daniel and Van and Tad and Ace and Carmen, since they all play into this moment of revelation.  I'm beginning to wonder if I'm doing a roman a clef, here, instead of a work of fiction.  I will say, by the time I get done there isn't going to be much left of the novel or play this is based on.

And I'm typed out, right now.  How 'bout I just get lazy and put up some of what I've been doing, again?

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Daniel sighed. “Talk about your basic mystery -- why this crap always comes up just when I need my focus the most.” Then the moon shone between the clouds, again and he smiled at the beauty of the vista before him. He actually loved winter and snow. How clean it seemed. The air so crisp and real. The snow sharp and true. Maybe he’d blow off Bermuda and have Tad join him, up here. Try to rekindle the perfection of that first weekend together. Besides, they hated fags in the Caribbean, and why would anyone want to go anyplace where only their cash was welcome?


“Because,” he whispered, “Tad loves the beaches in Bermuda, you idiot. And we want him to be as open to me as possible.”


So another sip from the brandy. And another sigh...and then the cavalry arrived from a shadow behind him, encased in this tall, elegant set of feminine curves wrapped a slinky negligee. She whispered up, her lovely face framed by hair as black as a raven’s feather, and slipped her arms over my guy’s shoulders and kissed his neck with such tenderness, it hurt.


“‘Allo, Dan-yell” she whispered, her voice thick with a Caribbean Spanish lilt. “How you are?”


Daniel just smiled. “Carmen...you know I’m gay.”


“Only in your mind,” she purred. “In my mind, all men are open to me. And if you put this in my mind, then it must be in your mind -- and since we share this mind, then...”


“Your point being?”


She frowned at him, then smiled. “Oh. Yes. Through me you see all men as toys to play with.”


He chuckled as he said, “I can dream about it.”


“But me, you never will dream about?”


“I couldn’t take you away from Ace. He needs you.”


“So let us dream about this,” she softly giggled, then stepped back and waved a hand...and who should appear from the shadows, naked and perfect, but (drum roll please) Tad. Yeah, big surprise.


Daniel grimaced. “Tad, I’ve got so much to do -- .” But the guy embraced him, his powerful arms circling around to pull open my guy’s parka and tickle at his tits through his shirt. My guy let him, of course. Then Tad’s perfect lips brushed against his neck in the softest and most tender of kisses. And his elegant hands gently guided his coat off.


Daniel turned to kiss him long and deep. Tad had learned a lot under Daniel’s tutelage (at least in Daniel’s mind) so gave as good as he got.


Oh, and just for everyone’s edification, I’m not the one describing this; it’s Carmen feeding me the info, hence the nicer voice. I mean, I don’t really care about what he does with anybody, so long as it makes him happy. So I just let myself Zen and wait till all is said and done and I can process Carmen’s upload in a more abstract manner.


What DOES sometimes jolt me into the middle of everything is CARMEN. Man, can she get going when these two’re hot and heavy. And at that moment, her motor was revving at ninety.


She traced her fingers across both their faces as she purred, “It is only for to help you think, Dan-yell. Twice as fast will you write. So much deeper will you go. Remember how you make me the one who loves. The one who dreams. The one who seeks beauty in life. Ace never can understand me. He is too much the rabbit boy in love.”


Okay! THAT jolted me into post-Zen.


“Like me -- .” Daniel gasped.


“Except here,” she whispered. “Except now. Except with him. He is beautiful, no? The line of his face. The caress of his hands. The touch of his lips. The feel of his body against yours.”


Daniel gasped from the building emotions in him as Tad unbuttoned his shirt. Carmen backed away, her breathing deep and ragged, just like my guy’s.


“This is why you give to me life, Dan-yell,” she continued. “This is why you give to me song. To do what you will not do. So, to me you give everything, okay?”


Tad lowered Daniel to the bed in this perfectly smooth, romantic, swooning motion. “No, I...” my guy said, breathless.


“Shhh,” was her response. “We end this soon, and then we make it me to lead you through the story. It will be so much the good. We tell how I come over from Cuba. Learn to be who I am, in the streets of Miami. To fulfill my deep desires.”


Daniel frowned, “Wait, you’re from the Bronx -- .”


“I think that change in ‘The Cadillac Criminal Mind,’ no?”


Daniel tried to rise on the bed, but Tad pushed him back down and whipped off his belt and pulled at his pants.


“No, it -- it was a -- a cover, remember?” he whispered, trying to keep from getting lost in Tad’s insistence. “You -- helped Ace infiltrate a gang of heroin smugglers in Yonkers. He saved your life.”


Carmen broke into a perfect Bronx snarl. “Son-of-a-bitch, that’s right!” She jumped over and flicked Daniel’s forehead with a finger.


He jolted. “Hey!”


“I went through the next two books talkin’ like some stupid bitch from Havana and you never said a word! Don’t you listen to me?!”


“You sounded fine!”


“Like hell. Even Ace noticed, an’ he’s a fuckin’ idiot!” HEY! “You let me make a fool of myself, Daniel Bettancourt,” she snarled. “What kind of respect does that show me, and me your best creation!”


Again, HEY! What about me?! I’m right here, now, in the corner.


She ignored me, as usual, snarling with a wicked grin, “Well -- now we’re gonna punish you, but good. Right, Taddy?”


She swatted Tad’s ass so he shoved Daniel down. Flopped on top of him. Crushed him to the bed -- and yanked off his pants. He traced his lips down Daniel’s quivering belly as Carmen slunk back in a chair to watch, her motor now up to one-ten.


And that’s when any good horn-dog should come calling.


“I’d say that’s as safe sex as you can get,” I snarled in her ear from behind, not wanting Daniel to know I was there.


She gave a deep, throaty little giggle and wrapped a hand around my neck in that way I so love, where her nails are digging into me just a little.


Daniel still heard us, rose and snapped, “This chatter is non-conducive to a satisfactory -- .”


“Speedy?” I sniped (I know, but I couldn’t help myself).


“ -- Result. So go.”


I smirked then Carmen and I began fading away to have our own little party in the cosmos, but not before I caught Daniel turning Tad’s perfect face back to him as he muttered, “Now -- bring me back to joy.”


Tad smirked, kissed him, grabbed his briefs at the sides, yanked them off and slung them into the shadows...which I’d seen him actually do, once before, and was still scarred from it -- well, as scarred as a straight fictional character who inhabits the mind of a gay writer can be. And now you know why I always close my eyes and -- .


“Jeannie -- fresh-as-a-daisy, just love -- how-she-obeys-me. Does things -- that-just-amaze-me so. Tah-da-dah.”


It was the theme song to “I Dream of Jeannie” being sung in as off-key a manner as one could and still be thought of as singing it!


Outside!


In the snowstorm!


And getting closer!


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