Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I know from psychotics

I just got a form letter from my brother and sister-in-law that discussed my brother's illness in September, her job, and how great her kids are doing. All very nice. All very sweetly presented. I tore the fucking thing up, because for some reason, the fact that our mother died just a couple months ago rates no mention. Wasn't even a blip on their horizon. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering I had to call him several times to let him know mom was getting worse and suggest he come see her.

He did, finally, for 5 minutes the night before she passed. Then spent 10 minutes telling me about how much he has to do for his wife's two grown sons and strongly suggesting we let my youngest brother go to a homeless shelter now that he'll be on his own. I also noticed the money he'd borrowed from my mother six months earlier, when she was in the hospital the first time, which was supposedly to fix a broken tooth, was not used in the way he said it would be. I was so stunned, I didn't even react.

Of course, now I know exactly how much money my brother is going to put in on paying for her funeral and marker. Starts with zero and ends with nothing. Which is not a big surprise. He borrowed money from me years ago, swearing he'd repay it in a month, but I have yet to see a penny. I haven't been in contact with him since the funeral...and honestly don't know if I ever will be, again, I'm so angry.

Apparently, I'm not alone in this sort of situation. A co-worker had similar issues with her brother and his wife when their father was dying. She actually got into a screaming match with her sister-in-law in the hospital parking lot over them not coming until the last minute, and there are still scars healing from that rift in their family.

Look, I'm not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination. You give me half a chance, I'll roll out a list of defects in me that would curl the hair of most people. And no question I've been a dick more times than I care to admit. But I never abandoned my mother. And I won't abandon my youngest brother. And I know my sister will be there for him, as well, just like she was there for mom as much as she could be. To do anything less would be evil...and I'm disgusted that I'm of the same blood as someone who would do exactly that.


Okay...I was skidding into a mood that's even darker than this when I noticed my book, "Porno Manifesto" got a review of "Awesome" on Barnes & Noble's site, along with 5 stars out of 5. Doesn't take much to turn my black into mere twilight. Maybe, in regards to an earlier post, I am as shallow as I seem.

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