Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

How do you stop the fear?

Had a nice long day at the computer...and achieved nothing. Why? Because "The Vanishing of Owen Taylor" makes no sense to me, right now. None. Part of the problem is it's become too full of red-herrings and fake paths...well, maybe. Part of it is my self-confidence getting a jolt from a man who did not connect with another book of mine. But something was wrong.

I know who did what. I know how they did it. When they did it. To whom it was done. But I cannot figure out the why. I thought I had, but it evaporated. Tried another tack...and it vanished into stupidville. So finally I gave up and watched "Topsy-Turvy"as I ironed.

I tried to upload the trailer but for some reason it won't, so here's an idea of how the movie works. For those unfamiliar with the movie, it's about Gilbert and Sullivan writing "The Mikado" and the turmoil they (and everyone else associated with it) went through to put on a nice, pleasant operetta that contained some lovely melodies. It's over 2 1/2 hours long, and the first hour is spent setting up the conflicts between people, with Sullivan refusing to write music for another libretto written by Gilbert because it's not inspiring. Then Gilbert stumbles into the idea for "The Mikado" and the rest of the movie shows how it slowly comes together. Performances of their works are interspersed throughout to show the development of the play.

By the end of the movie, I'd realized my problem -- I'm scared of the direction the story wants to take. So I keep trying to minimize it and drag in aspects that suit me but don't really fit. Jake's got it, and agrees. Brendan's just shrugging and saying, "Nothing new about that. I've been dealing with this nonsense for years." ending is going to be what it is. And it still makes me uncomfortable. But reality is, I'd set it up for that already. My inner writer was working around my reticence.

Maybe that's the only way to get around the fear -- be sneaky unto yourself.

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