I've gone back through the first 105 pages of UG to make sure I'm headed in the right direction, and then I wrote another bit between Devlin and Tawfi that sort of hints at Tawfi being the killer. Not sure what that's all about, yet...unless it's to involve Devlin even more in the investigation. Guess we'll see where it winds up fitting.
This pass-through cut about 5 pages from the total, mainly because of repetition. Devlin overly explains what's going on with his brother, Colin, and refers to the same story about Colin's wife a couple of times when once is sufficient. But I also added something...later in the story, after Devlin and Tawfi have connected for the second time...
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Tawfi lay his head in the small of my back and ran his tender fingers across my skin. He stopped, a couple of times, then moved on. Finally, he said, "You have some curious scarring."
I closed my eyes and just nodded.
He shifted to look closer at them. "There's an odd consistency to them. May I ask, what happened?"
His fingers whispered over them, gentle. I kicked myself for removing my shirt. I said nothing.
"Devlin, you're not sleeping. If you do not wish to answer, merely say so."
Not wish to answer? God, there was nothing more I wanted to do...but the words clawed at my throat, refusing to let go.
Until...
"My father," whispered from me.
Tawfi drifted down to lie beside me, his eyes locked onto my face. "He beat you?"
I could not keep his gaze...had to look away. Give the vaguest of nods. "And my brother. And mother."
He let his fingers glide up to mingle in my hair. So soft. So tender. More words released themselves.
"He had a belt. With this buckle. And if I was being a brat, he...he could have it off and whipping at me in two seconds. Then Colin would get between us and it'd catch him. This was after mom was gone. It kept up till I...I took it away from him. And beat him with it. And threw it in the East River. After that he...he focused more on Colin. And I let him. I went off to college and left Colin with him. After I'd let him protect me. After I'd let him get hurt for me. I left him with the son-of-a-bitch. The only thing that saved him was...our father died. Eleven years ago. Almost twelve. And I still don't believe it."
Tawfi put his fingers to my lips. I looked at him. Realized I was weeping. Could just barely make out his eyes were hurt.
"Now you know what I am," I said. "An animal that only cares about itself. You'd be smart to keep away from me."
His fingers drifted over to caress my eyebrows as he whispered, "It may not be appropriate to reveal this so quickly, but I would hate my life, if I did."
I shifted to kiss the palm of his hand, then said, "So would I."
This pass-through cut about 5 pages from the total, mainly because of repetition. Devlin overly explains what's going on with his brother, Colin, and refers to the same story about Colin's wife a couple of times when once is sufficient. But I also added something...later in the story, after Devlin and Tawfi have connected for the second time...
---------
Tawfi lay his head in the small of my back and ran his tender fingers across my skin. He stopped, a couple of times, then moved on. Finally, he said, "You have some curious scarring."
I closed my eyes and just nodded.
He shifted to look closer at them. "There's an odd consistency to them. May I ask, what happened?"
His fingers whispered over them, gentle. I kicked myself for removing my shirt. I said nothing.
"Devlin, you're not sleeping. If you do not wish to answer, merely say so."
Not wish to answer? God, there was nothing more I wanted to do...but the words clawed at my throat, refusing to let go.
Until...
"My father," whispered from me.
Tawfi drifted down to lie beside me, his eyes locked onto my face. "He beat you?"
I could not keep his gaze...had to look away. Give the vaguest of nods. "And my brother. And mother."
He let his fingers glide up to mingle in my hair. So soft. So tender. More words released themselves.
"He had a belt. With this buckle. And if I was being a brat, he...he could have it off and whipping at me in two seconds. Then Colin would get between us and it'd catch him. This was after mom was gone. It kept up till I...I took it away from him. And beat him with it. And threw it in the East River. After that he...he focused more on Colin. And I let him. I went off to college and left Colin with him. After I'd let him protect me. After I'd let him get hurt for me. I left him with the son-of-a-bitch. The only thing that saved him was...our father died. Eleven years ago. Almost twelve. And I still don't believe it."
Tawfi put his fingers to my lips. I looked at him. Realized I was weeping. Could just barely make out his eyes were hurt.
"Now you know what I am," I said. "An animal that only cares about itself. You'd be smart to keep away from me."
His fingers drifted over to caress my eyebrows as he whispered, "It may not be appropriate to reveal this so quickly, but I would hate my life, if I did."
I shifted to kiss the palm of his hand, then said, "So would I."
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