I'm reworking a SF-Horror script I wrote that is set in the desert, about an alien that crash-lands on Earth and uses humans as batteries so it can send home a distress signal. It's being helped by Miner, a man it controls -- he brings it people; it keeps him alive. It's set up in some caves under a motel called the Welcome Inn, but the L is missing...hence the title -- WE-COME.
Everything is going great until some skateboard kids are lured to the motel to use its empty but pristine pool to play in. The pool is the relay dish the alien uses to shoot off its messages. Miner goes after the kids only to find they aren't such easy targets.
I've got the first act written, leading up to the point where the kids realize something is very wrong. One of them is hurt but they can't use their phones to call for help and their cars will not start. I've also added in a couple of victim-characters, to pump up the suspense angle. In the first draft, I did the A-B-C thing of introducing everyone and giving their back-story...and it was boring. Now?
Now I introduce the kids -- Danny, Catherine, Chill, Mario, Skye and Powell -- as they're driving through the desert en route to the motel, playing a kind of tag, Danny driving a classic convertible, Chill behind the wheel of a pickup. I envision it with aerial and tracking shots of the vehicles as Yanni's Aria plays over. Maybe the title sequence. Use the full four minutes. By that time, the audience will be completely on the kids' side without them saying a word.
Of course, if I do sell it, the director will probably ignore my suggestions and totally screw it up. I had that happen in the first rewrite job I did for a cheesy Corman series. I rewrote three episodes to add humor and humanity, but also did a three episode arc with the two main characters -- a professor and a sheltered schoolgirl; it was an erotic series meant for European distribution. Justine -- that's it. I rewrote episodes 7, 8 & 9, and the arc was for Justine and Professor Robson, and a couple of secondary characters.
Anyway, the director loved my work and shot it...and then, after it was done and on its way, told me he hadn't realized I added the arc till after it was edited, so he didn't do anything to enhance it. Even cut a few lines that would have helped. Maybe people will catch it, maybe they won't. But it was my second introduction to the blindness of directors.
The first one almost turned me into a murderer...but that story was visited in a much earlier post.
Everything is going great until some skateboard kids are lured to the motel to use its empty but pristine pool to play in. The pool is the relay dish the alien uses to shoot off its messages. Miner goes after the kids only to find they aren't such easy targets.
I've got the first act written, leading up to the point where the kids realize something is very wrong. One of them is hurt but they can't use their phones to call for help and their cars will not start. I've also added in a couple of victim-characters, to pump up the suspense angle. In the first draft, I did the A-B-C thing of introducing everyone and giving their back-story...and it was boring. Now?
Of course, if I do sell it, the director will probably ignore my suggestions and totally screw it up. I had that happen in the first rewrite job I did for a cheesy Corman series. I rewrote three episodes to add humor and humanity, but also did a three episode arc with the two main characters -- a professor and a sheltered schoolgirl; it was an erotic series meant for European distribution. Justine -- that's it. I rewrote episodes 7, 8 & 9, and the arc was for Justine and Professor Robson, and a couple of secondary characters.
Anyway, the director loved my work and shot it...and then, after it was done and on its way, told me he hadn't realized I added the arc till after it was edited, so he didn't do anything to enhance it. Even cut a few lines that would have helped. Maybe people will catch it, maybe they won't. But it was my second introduction to the blindness of directors.
The first one almost turned me into a murderer...but that story was visited in a much earlier post.
2 comments:
Is the title an allusion to what the aliens use for their power source? Something the skaterboys could provide a constant and endless supply of?
Something Wicked this way comes? Pun intended? Hmmmmmmm?
Post a Comment