Another place I never would have gone to on my own. Florida's not my favorite state and being in any sort of close proximity to its government give me the itch. Especially with Rick Scott being governor. The man looks like a cyborg and has all the empathy of the Terminator in the first movie, as he's consistently shown in his actions and attitudes. But it's just for a couple of days, so...
I reworked Chapter 9 of A65, since some of it just didn't read smoothly. I'm trying not to go back and do my re-write thing every time I dig into the story...and I seem to be able to keep from it, for the most part. In this section, Casey begins to open up to Adam over a hot box of nuked Mac & Cheese, and we finally get a glimpse of the hurt young woman she hides behind her anger.
Initially, it was like a long monologue of her speaking as he eats and listens...but that was completely wrong for the moment, so I broke it up into more of a conversation. It's better but still needs work to make it real and smooth. Of course, it also added about 2 pages to the story -- I'm up to 255 and well over 63K in wordage -- though I may wind up trimming back by a page. I wanted it to keep to 62K in wordage and about 250 pages.
Oh, who am I kidding? I don't care how long the story is; it'll be as long as it needs to be, and no longer. And I still have some moments in the original Alice... to reference in some off-beat way, so there will be more addition. I think I'll get a professional editor to go over it, this time, just to get a sense of how it really comes across...and how decent my English is.
Wouldn't want Adam to wind up too obscure to work right.
I reworked Chapter 9 of A65, since some of it just didn't read smoothly. I'm trying not to go back and do my re-write thing every time I dig into the story...and I seem to be able to keep from it, for the most part. In this section, Casey begins to open up to Adam over a hot box of nuked Mac & Cheese, and we finally get a glimpse of the hurt young woman she hides behind her anger.
Initially, it was like a long monologue of her speaking as he eats and listens...but that was completely wrong for the moment, so I broke it up into more of a conversation. It's better but still needs work to make it real and smooth. Of course, it also added about 2 pages to the story -- I'm up to 255 and well over 63K in wordage -- though I may wind up trimming back by a page. I wanted it to keep to 62K in wordage and about 250 pages.
Oh, who am I kidding? I don't care how long the story is; it'll be as long as it needs to be, and no longer. And I still have some moments in the original Alice... to reference in some off-beat way, so there will be more addition. I think I'll get a professional editor to go over it, this time, just to get a sense of how it really comes across...and how decent my English is.
Wouldn't want Adam to wind up too obscure to work right.
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