Simon's Murder...

I wrote nearly 1600 words of a scene where the DA tries to talk to Simon during the lunch break of the trial, and it doesn't go well. Simon refuses to discuss a deal and his laptop gets damaged thanks to the DA grabbing at him. In the middle of the trial. Of course, the DA takes no responsibility for it.

But it brings up the moment when Simon decided, many years ago, to make certain he knew Doyle, his abusive ex-lover, died from AIDs. The man found Simon living in Houston and followed him home, drunk out of his mind, peed himself in the middle of Simon's kitchen, and wound up vomiting on a prized stereo setup. Ruined it. And that is when Simon decided he had to witness the man's death for closure.

Which he does, but of course, it never works out exactly how you plan, does it?

I found this poem on Tumblr, I think...and it fits Simon. I copied it...but neglected to note who wrote it. Wasn't me...but it does speak to me...

and i think maybe i was designed to be alone.

like my heart was never meant to fit into someone else's hands,

like every love i have ever known was only meant to pass through me,

not stay.

maybe i was crafted with cracks too deep for anyone to fill,

with walls too high for anyone to climb.

i wonder,

was I always meant to be the one who watches from afar?

the one who loves deeply but is never chosen?

i watch the world around me,

see how people connect so easily,

and i wonder if something is wrong with me—

if there's a part of me that keeps me alone,

something broken that can't be fixed.

maybe i was made to be the one who understands

but is never truly understood.

maybe i'm just meant to listen but never be heard,

to love but never be loved the same way.

maybe my heart was made to hold more than it should,

to hurt in silence while the world keeps going,

not even noticing.

if that's true,

if i was meant to be alone,

then i just hope i can learn to accept it.