Self-indulgent lunatic at large...

This evening, after making myself have a salad for dinner and getting a blood sugar reading of 134 (under 180 is wanted, for evening)...I proceeded to cook and eat a full bag of onion rings...which were very good...then pig out on a pint of Ben and Jerry's Brownie Batter ice cream.

Now I feel fat in both tummy and cheeks. And also somewhat satiated. Almost at peace or happy, something stupid like that.

I mean, WTF is wrong with me? This is obscenely self-indulgent and frankly unhealthy. Which I knew. But I didn't stop. 'Cause it was all so fucking good...

I wonder if it has something to do with the direction Léon is going. Complete self-indulgence. If he wants something, now, he's going to have it. Gabrielle has roused that attitude in him. He wants Franz (even though he doesn't really want him) so he's going to take him (just not keep him)...if he can get to Alexandria before Gabrielle. That's the issue, now.

His ship is captained by a vampire named Eogard, whose First Mate and crew are doùlos. They were corsairs at the beginning of the 19th Century, off the Barbary Coast, and know how to sail a ship. Eogard can pilot at night as his First Mate, Christian, works the day.

If they cut out half the ports of call they need to make for provisions, they can do the journey in 4 weeks. But that means not only holding stocks for the doùlos crew but also captives for Eogard and Léon to feed upon. To which Léon says, "Fine."

Men for him...women for Eogard.

And it doesn't matter if they deserve punishment or not. Léon's overwhelming focus is getting one over on his sister and the Oiym. He's pushing his own agenda, now, and things are changing.

And it's taken a tub of ice cream to settle me into going along with it.