128+ pages

I connected two sections...awkwardly but in a position now to be able to work them together better. I say it's 128+ pages because I have other sections written that need to be joined in, and also have my ending done. Suddenly, there's a point during Dev's interrogation where he wants Reg to hit him. And he deliberately reveals an assault he brushed off as the guy having second thoughts about sex with a man was really a revenge rape.

He's becoming pretty complex and yet simplistic. I'm not sure how to handle that. He both feels remorse for what he did to Reg and none over his much more destructive actions with a couple other men. He has no problem excusing himself and justifying his actions, and yet he wants to be punished for them. Maybe he's just plain crazy. Dunno, yet.

Looks like I'm going to be jobless for 3 weeks in August and September. Caladex is shutting down till after Labor Day and they are my only client. I have someone trying to get me to do something about coloring books for adults, but I don't know if I want to even think about that. I am thinking more about Carli's Kills and changes in it. Like Carli being a bit older, a bit on the carnal side, and it being her daughter who kills herself. Maybe the daughter was the product of a rape when Carli was 14 or 15 and she's been bounced around by family members ever since so she's not as strong as she should be. I dunno; that might be too close to family.

I had a cousin who got pregnant and was extremely embarrassed by it. She moved down to Texas to be away from the family while she had the baby, then wound up having to marry the father to get some kind of assistance and basically brought the boy up on her own. She killed herself when he was ten and he bounced around the family. Grew to be a bit wild and wound up in prison. I don't know all the whys and wherefores of what happened, but he was trying to get back on track when he died.

I only found out about his death by accident...and I wonder if it's what's beginning to color CK? The kid never got a break in his life, and the impression I get is he was killed...though I don't know for sure. I've tried to find out but no luck. Still, it haunts me...

And Carli wants to use it...

Never make plans except to plan to change them

I was going to be off, today, but got called in to help work up a bid on another packing job. Actually three of them, but the main one got so complicated it took all day. Of the other two, I was hoping one meant a trip to London but that didn't pan out, and the other depends on the broker as to whether or not I need to go to San Francisco. When I got home my brain was scrambled, so nothing got done on UG.

I did do this, yesterday...and it's making the story shift in my mind. It's after Dev saved Reg from being stabbed...about halfway into the book; Diana is his brother's wife, and Sir Monte is Reg's boss in the Metropolitan Police --
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Diana was at my hotel door exactly when she said she'd be. "I could have been early," she said, "but I figured you'd prefer me being on time, after last night."

"C'mon in, I'll order coffee."

"Tea, please. Were you hurt?"

"What does the news say?"

"Couple of men got into a fight outside a bar and one was stabbed."

As I picked up the phone, I showed her my bandage. She didn't even blink at it, just nodded. I put in an order for breakfast and both tea and coffee. Then I sat on the bed as she eased into a chair, her eyes locked on me. I'd seen that look before when I was doing something she didn't approve of. Like a mother disappointed in her child. I didn't say anything; I was still too shaken by the thought that Reg had almost been killed and weirdly grateful at Sir Monte for keeping it quiet.

I took in a deep breath and shifted to lie down, my eyes watching her eyes watch me. "Okay, let's have it."

"Glass always half-empty with you, isn't it?"

"Diana, I ache all over. I didn't sleep well. And I'm still freaked out at nearly seeing someone get killed, last night."

She nodded and said, "You know how Colin and I met, right?"

"He was lost and you found him. Brought him home."

"You know where I found him?" I said nothing. She smiled. "I always thought it interesting you never said anything."

"I didn't need to."

"Thank you for that." I just shrugged. "You know...the only reason I approached him was I thought he was my connection. I'd heard my usual guy got busted and we should assume the new guy's really undercover. So I saw Colin...and no way did he belong there. A rookie, was my first thought, so I went over to play with him, but he looked at me with those lost black lovely eyes and the first words out of his mouth were, 'Oh my god, you're so beautiful'. I wasn't. I was at the tail end of a party weekend. But his attitude...his whole demeanor was so simple and straight and honest...I fell apart. Sobbed. He said he was sorry and gave me his handkerchief. Cheap white cotton. Buy 'em by the half-dozen. I still have it. Wouldn't part with it for anything."

"You've been good for him."

She smiled, pulled out a tissue and wiped her eyes. "It took me fifteen seconds to find out he'd parked his car in a lot but couldn't remember which one and he was close to falling apart. I offered to call someone but he panicked and said you were at school and your father off on business and no one could know how he'd screwed up. So we went to every lot I knew...and found it at the fifth one. By that point he was so shaken, he couldn't drive. I got behind the wheel. And I stayed. And we got married. And we have three beautiful perfect children." Then she looked straight at me to add, "And I will never, never, never let anyone...anyone at all...hurt him or anything he cares about."

"Oh, boy...here it comes," I murmured.

Her smile widened. "I just need to know...did you ever know someone named Kenneth Tavelscha?"

Oh...son-of-a-btich. It was worse than I thought.

Firecrackers everywhere...

Happy Fourth of July, America.

This young man lost his leg in our defense. The least we can do is prove ourselves worthy of his...and thousands of others'...sacrifice.

Shall we return to living up to the ideals of our nation? Or will we continue to cower in fear like children while listening to charlatans and vipers promise to protect us even as they allow the privileged few to loot our treasury and destroy our future?

Alex and his compatriots deserve so much more...

Interesting how things move, sometimes...

UG's protagonist is not at all a hero. Devlin's a rapist who justifies his attacks as being only on those who deserve punishment. But his excuses seem flimsy -- one guy was going to drug him and use him in a prank at a fraternity party; one was cheating on his wife -- and when he's cornered by the British police he uses any means he can to fight back, like a trapped animal. Even though his defense would hurt a man who'd done nothing wrong, at all. But something interesting just happened.

I'm up to page 90 and throughout Dev has referred to his brother, Colin, as being irritating and pathetic, someone incapable of handling the family business. Colin's wife, Diana, helps them learn he was physically damaged by their father's abuse, and that it can be handled. Up till then, Dev was covering for Colin in order to keep things going smoothly. But while being interrogated by the cops, he remembers how a money fund manager named Griffin shoved $500K of bad bundled mortgages off on the company, using Colin's scrambled brain to make it seem like a good idea.

Of course, then the housing market burst and financial collapse came and Dev had to put off college for a while to help keep the company from going under. Colin feels especially responsible for it and sometimes approaches being suicidal. Then one day he comes into Dev's office and says, "I'll never be whole, will I?" The implication being he's close to jumping off a bridge. Devlin winds up comforting his older brother...and suddenly he actually come across as an avenging angel. Once Colin's back from the brink, Devlin checks the courts about legal remedies but finds they will be useless, so he sets out to stop Griffin another way -- by destroying him as a financial planner...which will protect others from being ruined by him.

I'd intended to use this image as Devlin, but the haunted eyes work better for Colin, now. I'm using my old standby -- a model named Bruno -- for Devlin. The model's name is Eric Hanson, and he's become Devlin's redemptive side.

This may be a lot of fun...

Underground Guy moves forward...

I got the first 60 pages of UG in solid form. I'm sure there will still need to be some smoothing over, but it works, so far. I'm working on cleaning up my style a bit...so I don't need so many commas or ellipses.  My writing seems a bit archaic and somewhat chatty instead of direct, which I don't really mind. I want it to seem like I'm verbally telling the story around a campfire.

But I've begun to wonder if that really works for a book. In a script it doesn't matter. All the audience sees is what's on the screen. A stage play can benefit from that sort of style, since they're far more dialogue-dependent and breaking the 4th wall to address the audience in the telling of the story has been done so often as to be a cliched device, now. But in a book aimed at adults?

I once thought of doing one of my scripts as a graphic novel just to see what would happen once it was visualized in a way other than words. I figured KAZN, with its Russian lead character who speaks as little as possible, would work perfectly.

But it turned into a glorified storyboard with little dialogue balloons...which worked fine for my purposes but could seem a bit tedious to aficionados of the format, I just don't have the training or patience to do work like Dave Gibbons or Moebius...and theirs is the work I'd aspire to.

And yet...that would give me complete freedom...and writing style would be secondary to visual style...

Alfred Hitchcock Class -- part 1

I did these in reverse posting order so they appear in the right order on my blog. A quick, simple class in how to make a movie like Hitchcock. Short and sweet.

Alfred Hitchcock Class -- part 2

Alfred Hitchcock Class -- part 3

Who says porn stars are dumb?

These guys are gay porn stars and what they say makes sense. It's all been said before, but I appreciate anyone who's still saying it...especially (shallowness alert) when they look like this...

Almost back to normal...

After a rough 9 day trip that was anything but a vacation, I'm home and well-napped and ready to get back to writing my next project. I'd taken Underground Guy and Carli's Kills with me to work on...and barely got a decent outline done for UG. That was on the trip down to Florida; from then on I was too beat at the end of the day to even think about thinking.

UG has begun to work its way through my brain, now. I'd beefed up one character -- Dev's sister-in-law, Caitlyn (I wonder if I should change her name so no one thinks of the former Mr. Jenner?) -- and she's begun to work within the story more. Turns out she's the only woman Dev has any real respect for since she takes excellent care of his brother, Colin. She also knows how to work around people to get things done, and since Dev's in a mess of his own making she can help him get out of it in a way that works for everyone.

I see her as someone like Kate Jackson, who was in Dark Shadows as well as Charlie's Angels and came across as the smart one. Able to handle herself and with a healthy dose of common sense.

The story's getting deeper, as usual with me. It's not just about Devlin facing who and what he is after he jumps Reg; it's about the whole family dynamic between brothers and their father, a violent man whom Dev both hated and wanted to be loved by. I have no idea how far that concept goes, yet, but I'm refusing to rule out anything.

And I do mean anything.