I finally made myself stop dithering with DL and printed it up and sent it off to see what happens. This magazine says they respond within 8 months...which is a damn long time to wait to see if I'm getting it published...but I don't makes the rules, I just gets 'em applied to me. And that's all the info anyone's gettin' on this...for now.
I got a new phone for just $30 and a 2 year extension on my contract...which I don't mind; Sprint's been as good as anything else. I also got a better deal on my plan for the same monthly payout. What's even better -- I'm now the proud owner of a chrome red beast that's lighter and smarter than the one it replaced.
Now off to veg.