Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Knock, knock...

Except I'm lying. Seems no matter how many times I tell myself I don't care, or what language I use, I still let myself get caught.

I had a story come calling, today, currently called Arrested. Something simple and straightforward, about the arrest of a man for public indecency that spirals out of control when he refuses to take a deal and the case goes to trial.

Except it can't be that simple. Oh, no.

ARRESTED

Location: Barrington Township, Ohio Fictional town near Columbus

Characters: 1. Simon Delevan, 67 a. Gay b. Archivist c. Semi-retired d. Lives in Buffalo, NY

2. Frank Paley, 30 a. Cop for Barrington Township b. Powerbuilder c. Straight, he says 

3. Brian Walstead, 32 a. Assistant District Attorney b. Very good-looking c. Divorced 

4. Elissa Manville, 30 a. Walstead’s second chair b. Rubenesque but pretty c. Boyfriend not very attentive 

5. Judge Oliver Denton, 49 a. Municipal Court b. Distinguished but right wing c. Married, 5 daughters, three grandchildren 

6. Dr. Elon Aristide, 36 a. PhD in Jurisprudence b. Attractive and well-dressed. c. Married, 2 sons and a daughter

7. Raymond Harver, 54 a. District Attorney b. Self-satisfied about self c. Married twice, son and daughter from first marriage don’t speak to him.

I've worked out a rough outline of the story to about the halfway point, and it's getting into territory I know little about. How a trial for a misdemeanor works and what an ADA would actually do. I mean, if the case is just a misdemeanor and questions are reaised about the legitimacy of the arrest, would they still press on to the end? Or withdraw the charges? 

Or would other aspects factor in? Like the possibility the defendant would file a claim with the city for false arrest, imprisonment and prosecution? Would a guilty verdict in the trial mitigate that? Would this be something the ACLU would get involved with?

Damn...am I getting myself into another PIA situation? Because I have no idea how far this is going to go.

Monday, December 23, 2024

It's a White Christmas...

I just took this photo. You can't really tell, but it's still snowing. 

So...last night, I wound up watching The King's Speech, again. I guess to remind myself that it's possible to overcome problems if you really focus on them and work hard and don't let the turkeys get you down. Yeah, right. Very Pollyanna.

Okay, now that the saccharine is out of my system, I can say I am way out of my depth when it comes to launching a book. And probably too late, according to their plan. I should have started everything prior to even beginning the writing.

Well...I guess trying to get an agent interested in repping A Place of Safety to a mainstream publisher was a way of doing that. Sort of. Even though it did crash and burn. And they say editorial reviews...like from Kirkus and BookLife...are important, which I have.

But...I should have my own website, preferably with the ability to buy directly from me...as well as a lengthy list of people to email when I have a new book or special promotion going on. Got neither.

Of course, the biggest issue with this outline is, they are very Amazon-centric...and I am not. I don't trust Amazon. I know too many authors online who've been fucked over by them. One recently had all her KU ebooks removed because some asshole pirated the book and set it up though another group. KU demands exclusivity.

Which is a big no fucking way to me...because they don't listen when you tell them that there's been a mistake. I went through that with them, more than once back when I was still getting going with my self-publishing. Hell, even before.

The first time How to Rape a Straight Guy got banned was when it was with a publisher, and the cowards wouldn't fight for it. I had to, and I got Amazon to back down...but it took weeks. I'm neither a masochist nor interested in an abusive relationship with a two-trillion-dollar company.

Anyway, what it boils down to is learning a new approach to publicizing my books or finding someone I can afford who will do so, for me. And I think the latter would be far better, overall.

Anybody got a couple thousand bucks lying around that they don't need?

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Studenting...

I'm putting my ego aside and reading a guide I bought from Bestseller Launch, on how to position your book for great sales...or something. Most of it seems geared to non-fiction books -- how to find inner peace of build a great business kind of stuff -- but there is a section for doing fiction works, with a special emphasis on building a good blurb for the story.

It also emphasizes having a great cover and suggests getting someone professional to do it. I'm not bad when it comes to my covers, but I still go hit and miss, and it seems the fronts of New World For Old and Home Not Home aren't hitting the mark with readers. I like them and especially the progression from innocence to brutal knowledge in the photos representing Brendan. But that could be a part of my ego in the way of objectivity.

I may investigate the cost of that for the paperback versions of the books. See what a third party comes up with. I also may just plain not be able to afford it.

My eyes are crossed. I'm gonna sit in bed and watch a movie...maybe Sense and Sensibility...or Miracle on 34th Street, the 1947 version. The two remakes were ridiculous.

Saturday, December 21, 2024

I think I'm nuts...

Well...just rocking along with The Beast Dines Out and you never know what's going to happen, next. Dirc found out the Beast has been trying to replicate the effect he has on his victims, which is what makes them suitable for use. There's a moment when 5 earlier clones of Dirc come out and he's a bit weirded out.

But he also finds out what it truly means when you tell someone to go fuck yourself. He's also taken a step back to being human by promising to protect The Kid guard, whose name is Cliff Mason. I guess we'll see what happens with them.

It's now up to 12,650 words. The first book, The Beast, is 15,450 words, total. Seems this one is dragging me deeper into Dirc's psyche and the madness of his world.

I'm getting good reaction on Gay Demon. Ratings from 9.5-9.8 and hundreds of readers. Makes me feel good about the story, so far. We'll see how things go in the one I just uploaded.

Sales are good with Smashwords' end of year sale. Focus is mainly on The Lyons' Den, The Vanishing of Owen Taylor and Porno Manifesto...three I really wanted to get out there to be read. I don't think anyone's reading them, straightaway. They're just grabbing them at special prices, from free to 1/2 off. But eventually they might and then give me reviews. Maybe.

Today was a snow day, strong moments of the white stuff then moments of sun and sky. 19 degrees but feels like 7. Ain't no way I'm going out in that if I don't have to. And I don't. And tomorrow is supposed to be more of the same.


Friday, December 20, 2024

Writing a freebie can be ludicrous...

...If you let it be. While waiting for the proof of APoS-HNH, I got back to working on The Beast Dines Out and let it go wherever it wanted to. Which is a pretty bizarre place. And it's rather unsettling that I'm writing this piece, yet also liberating.

As already noted, the Beast makes a clone of Dirc to have the cops searching for him find and think he's back in custody. It's done in a way for him to be comatose, so there's no concern or question about him. 

What's crazy is, When Dirc sees the clone, both he and it are naked, and he compares himself to himself. Even asks the Beast if he can get the clone to be erect so he can see what his dick looks like from a different perspective.

The prurient aspect of him was left out of the clone because it would take too long to bland in. It's a body with all the organs working but no thoughts or voice.

So it dresses itself and gets beaten up by the Beast's spacecraft before being dropped into the aqueduct near the overturned bus. Where the search party locates it and rushes it off to a hospital

This bit wound up being 2200 words long. The whole thing is now over 10,400 words, and I'm maybe halfway through...and it's shifting from black comedy to absurdist theater. Even the non-consensual gay sex in it is on the crazy side.

I wonder what that says about me?

Thursday, December 19, 2024

APoS-HNH is almost completely done!!!


I finally got my review from booklife and plugged some of it onto the back of the dust jacket...then uploaded everything to Ingram to start making it available in hardcover. My hope is to have it available for purchase through Amazon, B&N and BAM! by the end of the year.

Here's the review:

"Sullivan concludes his A Place of Safety trilogy (after New World for Old) by transforming Brendan Kinsella into Jeremy Landau, a Texan researcher of Jewish heritage. It’s 1981, and Brendan’s mission is to return to his native Ireland, virtually incognito as Jeremy—who is there to draw parallels between the Irish hunger strikes and the Israeli and Palestinian clashes. With his southern drawl, close-cropped hair, and NASA baseball cap, he is nearly unrecognizable, even to his closest friends.

The journey—prompted by his mother’s impending death—draws him back to a country that never truly let him go. But Sullivan makes it clear that Ireland hasn’t forgotten Brendan. Both the IRA and British intelligence have him firmly on their radar, each vying to extract information about the bombers behind a years-ago tragedy that claimed the love of his life, Joanna. Even as Brendan navigates a tense web of intrigue, the alphabet organizations—like the PIRA, OIRA, UDF, UVF, and RUC—scrutinize his every move, turning each checkpoint into a gauntlet of suspicion, revenge, and betrayal, while Sullivan resurrects Brendan’s past with an eerie twist: Joanna may still be alive.

Haunted by this revelation, Brendan embarks on a perilous quest to save his family and piece together the truth about his parents, uncovering recordings that provide startling insight into their lives and motives along the way. His pursuit is as much about understanding his own identity as it is about uncovering hidden truths and enduring tortured interrogations. Sullivan intricately weaves trauma, history, and espionage into a narrative that demands careful attention. The backstory, richly detailed and emotionally charged, requires patience to fully absorb, especially for readers unfamiliar with the earlier books in the trilogy. For the most rewarding experience, starting with the first series offering will deliver the clarity and depth needed to appreciate the full scope of this complex saga.

Takeaway: Emotionally charged intertwining of trauma, love, and acceptance."

I can live with this...

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Even nothing stories need to make sense...

Working on The Beast Dines Out and I just chucked everything I did for Chapter Four. It was silly and self-indulgent, and went nowhere. I had the Beast proving to Warren...no, I'm referring to him as Dirc, from now on. It was proving how completely in control of him it was...when that's been obvious from the beginning of this story. Why would it need to prove anything?

After grumping around for half the day and making myself go out in the middle of a snowstorm to drop my last Christmas card in the mail...and get brownie mix because I really, really wanted brownies, tonight...I figured out the real issue is, if Dirc is to work with the Beast something has to be done about him being a fugitive. He's slated for execution so he'll be on the FBI's most wanted list, and considering his notoriety for being a massively prolific serial killer, his face is known by everyone.

Unless he's dead or in custody. So the Beast is going to make a clone of him and dump it back at the scene of the bus wreck. That gets found. Maybe in a coma. Maybe dead. Word gets out and around, change his hair or grow a beard, and he's safe to help set up the intergalactic truck stop.

He's being paid in gold nuggets, which he needs to explain. They're very prevalent in the universe. So I remembered Call of the Wild and how crazy it got when hundreds of thousands of men and women set out for the Yukon to hunt for gold. Meaning...start up a new gold rush and let the meat come to you.

That's a pretty callous way of approaching this story, I have to admit, and it makes me more than a little antsy. The humanist in me points out the lives and futures lost, innocent men killed and fed to aliens...but I think of the incoming administration and the direction America is hurtling down, and it's seeming more and more like I'm just referencing a form of reality in this country.

I just don't understand America, anymore, and I'm hoping this story...and more of Blood Angel...can help me sort things out. Or let off some anger and confusion. Because apparently denying healthcare to people in order to maximize profits...which often kills them...is considered business as usual while someone fighting back against it by killing the head of one of the worst perpetrators of it is terrorism.

And FWIW, I wound up making the world's worst brownies, this evening. Burned on the bottom; center not cooked. Master chef, I am not; foul mood, I am in.

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

This is truth...

 And I have nothing to add...

...except I needed to escape from it all, today...and still do...
God dammit, I hate people.


Monday, December 16, 2024

Arthur Penn Speaks...

I was sent this by a couple of friends so thought I'd share:

"I do not want to know another thing about what a nice guy or gal someone on the stage is: This is entirely irrelevant to me. Some sort of desperation has crept into our theatre--all of our arts, really, but we're discussing theatre--where we feel a defensive wall is erected around the meretriciousness of our work by highlighting how hard someone has worked; how many hours they've put in at the soup kitchen; how many hours they spent researching the aphasic mind in order to replicate the actions of one; how many ribbons sweep across their breast in support of causes; how much they love their lives and how lucky they feel to be on Broadway!

There is very little art, but there is a great deal of boosterism. Fill the seats; buy a T-shirt; post something on the Internet; send out an e-mail blast.

I'm in my eighties, and I think I should have left this earth never knowing what an e-mail blast was.

I saw a play recently that was festooned with understudies: Not the actual understudies, but the hired, primary actors, all of whom performed (if that is the word) precisely like a competent, frightened understudy who got a call at dinner and who raced down to take over a role. No depth; no sense of preparation. These were actors who had learned their lines and who had showed up. And that is all.

I spoke to the director afterwards. By all accounts a nice and talented and smart guy. I asked him why a particular part in this play--a Group Theatre classic--had been given to this certain actor. He's a great guy, was the response. Prince of a fellow. Well, perhaps, but send him home to be a prince to his wife and children; he is a shattering mediocrity. But nice and easy counts far too much these days. Another director told me--proudly--that he had just completed his third play in which there wasn't one difficult player; not one distraction; not one argument. Can I add that these were among the most boring plays of our time? They were like finely buffed episodes of Philco Playhouse: tidy, neat, pre-digested, and forgotten almost immediately, save for the rage I felt at another missed opportunity.

All great work comes to us through various forms of friction. I like this friction; I thrive on it. I keep hearing that Kim Stanley was difficult. Yes, she was: in the best sense of the word. She questioned everything; nailed everything down; got answers; motivated everyone to work at her demonically high standard. Everyone improved, as did the project on which she was working, whether it was a scene in class, a TV project, a film, or a play. Is that difficult? Bring more of them on.

Is Dustin Hoffman difficult? You bet. He wants it right; he wants everything right, and that means you and that means me. I find it exhilarating, but in our current culture, they would prefer someone who arrived on time, shared pictures of the family, hugged everyone and reminded them of how blessed he is to be in a play, and who does whatever the director asks of him.

Is Warren Beatty difficult? Only if you're mediocre or lazy. If you work hard and well, he's got your back, your front, and your future well in hand. He gets things right--for everybody.

No friction. No interest. No play. No film. It's very depressing.

I don't want to know about your process. I want to see the results of it. I'll gladly help an actor replicate and preserve and share whatever results from all the work that has been done on a part, but I don't want to hear about it. I've worked with actors who read a play a couple of times and fully understood their characters and gave hundreds of brilliant performances. I don't know how they reached that high level of acting, and I don't care. My job is to provide a safe environment, to hold you to the high standards that have been set by the playwright, the other actors, and by me. I hold it all together, but I don't need to know that your second-act scene is so true because you drew upon the death of your beloved aunt or the time your father burned your favorite doll.

Now the process is public, and actors want acclimation for the work they've put into the work that doesn't work. Is this insane? Read the newspapers, and there is an actor talking about his intentions with a part. I've pulled strands of O'Neill into this character, and I'm looking at certain paintings and photographs to gain a certain texture. And then you go to the theatre and see the performance of a frightened understudy. But a great gal or guy. Sweet. Loves the theatre.

Every year or so, I tell myself I'm going to stop going to see plays. It's just too depressing. But I remember how much I love what theatre can be and what theatre was, and I go back, an old addict, an old whore who wants to get the spark going again.

I don't think we can get the spark going again because the people working in the theatre today never saw the spark, so they can't get it going or keep it going if it walked right up to them and asked for a seat.

It's a job, a career step, a rehabilitation for a failed TV star or aging film star. I got a call from one of these actresses, seeking coaching. I need my cred back, she said. This is not what the theatre is supposed to be, but it is what the theatre now is.

I don't want to just shit on the theatre: It's bad everywhere, because it's all business, real-estate space with actors. It's no longer something vital. I used to think that the theatre was like a good newspaper: It provided a service; people wanted and needed it; revenue was provided by advertisers who bought space if the paper delivered, but profit was not the motive--the motive was the dissemination of truth and news and humor. Who goes to the theatre at all now? I think those in the theatre go because it's an occupational requirement: They want to keep an eye on what the other guys are going, and they want to rubberneck backstage with those who might use them in the future. But who are the audiences? They want relief not enlightenment. They want ease. This is fatal.

I talk to Sidney Lumet. I talk to Mike Nichols. I ask them if I'm the crazy old man who hates everything. You might be, they say, but you're not wrong. They have the same feelings, but they work them out or work around them in different ways.

The primary challenges of the theatre should not always be getting people to give a shit about it. The primary challenge should be to produce plays that reach out to people and change their lives. Theatre is not an event, like a hayride or a junior prom--it's an artistic, emotional experience in which people who have privately worked out their stories share them with a group of people who are, without their knowledge, their friends, their peers, their equals, their partners on a remarkable ride."

~~ director ARTHUR PENN

He died 14 years ago...and it hasn't gotten any better. 

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Blogger's being ridiculous...

My previous post is blocked behind a warning of inappropriate content and I have absolutely no idea why. There is no nudity. No more cursing than usual. No threats of violence or attacks on anyone. I can find no reason in any of their so-called community standards to put that label on it and kill its viewing. But there is it.

And I cannot appeal it. I have access to a dozen different ways to report a problem that is a violation, but nothing to ask for a review. I guess when you're using a platform that is, in effect, free...you have to put up with their stupidity.

I did more writing on The Beast Dines Out. It's at 5500 words and I'm not even 25% done. It's flowing out of me, so I'm loathe to stop it.

What seems to be building here is just another capitalistic venture on the part of Warren and his Extraterrestrial buddy. Or partner. Not sure which, yet.

I do know Warren's getting paid in raw stones or gold or something mineral. I doubt aliens use American Express...though I suppose it's not an impossible thing to consider. I wonder if they'd sponsor me...

I don't want this to seem like a ripoff of The Little Shop of Horrors. It's got a similar approach to the horror and bloodshed...jokey and dark...but mine's coupled with the beginning of a franchise operation that might help take care of overpopulation. There's also the original The Hills Have Eyes and the nearly goofy attitude the family has to their victims; gotta be careful I don't get weird.

So...I'm back to writing...

Saturday, December 14, 2024

The Beast Dines Out...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Friday, December 13, 2024

Am I crazy?

John Wayne Gacy raped and murdered 33 young men and boys like this. That we know of. He was found guilty and executed for it 30 years ago. I remember reading about it at the time, it being just a few years after Elmer Wayne Henley and Dean Corll had been revealed as having raped and murdered 27 boys in Houston. Soon after came William Bonin and Randy Kraft, and then things seemed to calm down.

I'm completely, totally, and absolutely anti-death penalty. I'll joke about there always being exceptions...usually dealing with right wing scum or dictators like Putin or Xi...but in truth my aversion to it even extends to them. Innocent people have been executed, and I believe it's better to let 99 evil men live than let 1 innocent man be murdered by the state.

Gacy is usually included in the group I joke about there being an exception for...and considering the hideousness of his crimes, it's hard not to give in to the idea that he deserved it. But I also keep in mind that he did not kill all his victims. Some of them he just plain let go. Took them back to where he'd picked them up and gave them his contact information, as if it had just been a sexual encounter and not a kidnapping and sexual assault.

Several went to the cops and were brushed off. One, Jeff Rignall, wrote a book about what happened and testified at Gacy's murder trial, detailing the brutality for the record. What's wild about that is, he was testifying for the defense to try and prove that Gacy was mentally ill. Others also told of their assaults and how the police ignored them...until 15 year-old Robert Piest was kidnapped and killed under circumstances that, in retrospect, seemed like a cry from the man to stop him, it was so stupidly done.

Well...for some reason all day I've been thinking about how Gacy did not kill all of his rape victims. And how, considering rape is very rarely reported by men or women, it's likely the majority of his victims were simply released. And wondering if that might be a way into his story to bring sympathy to him.

Or understanding.

Which is why I wonder if I'm crazy. Considering writing a story that explains a vile, vicious serial killer as just another messed up dude. A guy who lost control of his inner demons. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that stems from seeing just how vile and vicious and depraved human beings have been to each other in just this century.

I'd once read a commentary that back when wars were far more common serial killers went off to battle and satiated their bloodlust with slaughter covered by battle, invasion or genocide. Russians' actions in Ukraine sort of support that idea, considering how barbaric they've been in places like Bucha and the east of Ukraine. Even considering what little I know about WW2 and the fighting between Germans and Russians in Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe...that almost bears it out.

I have no idea where I'm going with this, if anywhere. It's just something that took hold of my brain, today, and makes me a bit nervous...and fascinated...and probably nuts.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Fully accepted...

Smashwords is happy. Their sub groups are happy. I'm happy enough to post HNH as part of Smashwords' End of Year sale at half price. My inner birthday dragon is pleased...

Lots of my books are on sale, though not all. Many are free. Check down my profile page to see which are and which aren't, if you want to buy any. Not all of them are MM erotica.

So now what? Just waiting for the last bit to plug into the back of the dust jacket and I'm antsy. The job in Baltimore turned out not to need me, so that trip's off. All I have set coming up is in Seattle, first week of January. Then I have to be available for Jury Duty the week of the 20th. After that are California's book fairs, which I won't be dealing with.

I could write more...but I'm not really up for that. In any form. Maybe something will hit me; I never know. But right now I'm very much at loose ends. Watch movies? Catch up on my reading? See if I can stop rewriting other writers' sentences and restructuring their stories? That'd be a trick.

I took an online course, today, to verify I qualify for bankruptcy, and I do. I've stopped using the cards, completely, already. Had all my auto-pays shifted to either Paypal or my bank, which doesn't make me comfortable. I'd like to use my new credit card, but won't see that for another week. So even my finances are still in limbo.

I think I may go for a trip to Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Just to get the hell out of the US. I'm sick to death not only of the GOP but the MAGAts that follow them...who seem to be spreading their infection, like rabies does in animals. I like to think I'm vaccinated against it, but you never know until you get sick.

I had to take the rabies shots when I was about four years-old. A neighbor's dog bit me, and she refused to let it be tested. We were living outside the city limits of San Antonio and Bexar County refused to make her do it, so I got the shots as a precaution. In the stomach. Either 2 or 3 of them, not sure. Just remember screaming my head off a couple of times.

Maybe that's inoculated me against right-wing stupidity.

Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Home Not Home is officially published...

I got the last notes on HNH early this afternoon so made all the changes, needed, and uploaded it to Smashwords. Meaning it can now be bought in ebook formats. It still has to go through a review to see if a couple of the groups that offer ebooks will accept it in their catalogues, but I'm not worried about them. It has no porn, which is all that seems to freak them out.

I did do a bit of rewriting near the end, when Brendan is being taken to where he thinks Joanna lives. Made it more emotional a journey. I didn't have him describe how nervous and expectant he was; I worked it into him having memories of his walk to Claudy as a boy. And the tenderness of the passing farms as dusk settles in. And then...when the truck he's in stops...how it's an effort for him to do anything but keep looking down the road.

God, I hope I'm not being self-indulgent or ridiculous in my pride over this book. But I am fucking proud. I did something I did not know I could do.

The hardcover is still pending. I'm waiting to see if the review I requested from BookLife will come in so I can post it on the back cover...or learn they didn't like this volume and so use quotes from the two previous reviews by them and Kirkus.

I could have asked Kirkus to review this one, I suppose, but I'm leery of how they work so just...didn't.

Anyway, I've aligned it with Smashwords' end of year sale -- half-price through January 1st. And in the meantime, I'll read up on ways to get notice going for the book. I've already read a couple of articles that had no real information in them, so that won't be easy. It seems everyone wants you to pay for their services before they impart their knowledge, which I understand but don't have the money for.

And at the rate I'm going, never will.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Surprising feedback...

One of my building's office people tried to read The Alice '65 but said the print is too small. Makes her eyes hurt. She's older but not elderly, and does wear glasses...but apparently those didn't help.

I checked it and I did the text in TNR 10 point font, while I've been doing APoS in 11 point, which is a bit easier to read. Of course, the file being used by my editor is Courier 12 point and I've done my own proofing using 14 point blown up to 150 view, to make the errors more obvious. But I'm wondering if I should consider reworking A65 with a larger point size.

Maybe I'll even do the PB editions of APoS in 12 point to make it a clearer read. I doubt many young people will be reading the books...except maybe in ebook, which can be increased in size on the viewer. But this was something I hadn't give a lot of consideration to.

I'd looked at dozens of novels in paperback and hardcover to get an idea of how they were formatted and laid out and such, but I didn't really pay attention to the font size. To me, larger print was like this:

A Place of Safety

-- and for people who were nearing blindness. I'm fortunate in that while I do need glasses for reading or seeing things up close, I'm fine most of the time without them. And making my books into large print just seemed like a lot of time and effort for minimal use. Kind of limiting, that way of thinking.

Oh, well...live and learn...maybe...

Monday, December 9, 2024

Another step taken...

It's begun. I not only qualify for bankruptcy, we've initiated the process. It means wiping out all my credit cards, so I'm getting one through my Credit Union that's secured by a cash deposit. It's limiting, but it gets me back on track and a huge weight off my shoulders. And if I'm careful, I can do just about all my traveling, using it.

That's one step back to being in some kind of control. Next will be publishing APoS-HNH. Got more notes, today, and we're 3/4 of the way through. A couple of moments were not written very well so I did a bit of polishing on them. But overall it's holding up.

Publisher's Weekly isn't going to review Home Not Home, so all I can do is wait for BookLife's review. Should be appearing soon. Put that on the jacket, maybe some quotes for Derry and New World For Old. We'll see what happens.

Fortunately, I'm at the less expensive end of the whole routine. I'll need to buy a physical proof and some copies I promised, but that's it. when I get around to doing the paperbacks, I'll have to buy some ISBNs and those are pricy, but I don't think I'm using images for the covers. Or if I do, I'll work up some simple pen and ink renditions to use in the background. I dunno, yet.

I'm going to dig through all the groups swearing they know how to help you sell millions of copies of your books and see if any make any sense...without it costing me a huge amount. That's always the trick.

I really hate being in this situation, but with the coming uncertainty thanks to the MAGAt scum and Democrats' wishy-washy-ness, I have to plan for the worst.

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Bit by bit...

Got more corrections on APoS-HNH and we're now over halfway through. And some of these are really embarrassing. Like misspelling Michael and repeating words. I'm shaking my head at myself.

No movie, tonight. Instead I did preliminary work on taxes to have for tomorrow's meeting. It's kind of a shock to see that I've spent nearly $6000.00 getting A Place of Safety going, this year, and finding out just how little return there has been on it, thus far.

I know I shouldn't care. I'm glad I'm so close to being done with the book, and I do feel I did right by Brendan's story, but it's tipped me into bankruptcy. Maybe. Depends on if I qualify. I may not.

What's really sad about this is, I've got a really good credit rating, and no matter what that's going to vanish. I won't be defaulting on anything till next month.

So while it's wonderful that Brendan's story is now available to read and I can focus on finding ways to get people interested in it...I wish it hadn't come to this. It's fucking depressing. But I'm $38,000 in debt, which is $4000 more than I made, last year, and I can't keep going like this. Especially if the MAGAt scum get their way and start cutting Social Security benefits.

I like to think they're in too much turmoil, themselves, to really get anything done. But that's too much like wishful thinking.

So this is a preemptive strike. Cutting my costs as much as possible and trying to rebuild my savings, in anticipation. Won't be easy, no matter what.

Saturday, December 7, 2024

Charlie Chan night...

I have many of the Charlie Chan movies, from the 30s and 40s, and I'm going to go through them all, again. I've seen most several times, each, but still like to watch them. My favorites are Charlie Chan at the Opera, ...in Egypt, ...at the Olympics, and ...in Panama.

Warner Oland was the best one. He was Swedish but had some Mongolian ancestry so had a vaguely Asian aspect to his face. I don't have his first one, Charlie Chan Carries On, nor have I seen it. It's considered lost, but there's a Spanish version, apparently. I need to track it down. See how good my Spanish is...except they used a Spanish actor for Charlie Chan, so it may not really count.

I used to watch these on Saturdays, as a boy at my grandmother's. Black and white console TV in the same ratio so they lost nothing when I finally got them on VHS...then DVD. Sydney Toler was okay as Chan. Just not as warm as Oland. And I didn't like the Roland Winters ones; they were cheesy and done without thought.

There was one version from about 1929 or 1930 where Charlie Chan was a secondary character in San Francisco who helped the white British detective catch a killer before he killed the only witness against him. It was quite violent, but it also had images of San Francisco's streets at that time and was, overall, quite good. But I can't remember the title and my search is coming up blank, so far,.

A lot of today was spent pulling together paperwork and filling in forms for my meeting on Monday with the bankruptcy lawyer. It's a free consultation to see if I really qualify. Who knows how it will turn out.

Friday, December 6, 2024

New site to try...

I was directed to a site I'd never heard of, before -- Book Funnel -- so set up an account and posted The Vanishing of Owen Taylor on there. There's another of Smashwords' sales promotions coming up, on it, and one of the other authors I follow on Facebook is going to put it in her newsletter, with links to that site. May as well give it a go.

Of course, people can also go to my profile page and see which books I've added to the sale and which I haven't. Some will be free. Both of the APoS volumes available will be half price. My gay erotica is $0.99, as always.

I'm realizing there are several places readers can go to for gay erotica...where it's free. They can't own it, but they get to read it. I tried one out with The Beast and it seemed to make people happy. Got some good feedback on it. But no money...and that explains why sales have gone flat.

I'm at that stage of life where I need the cash more than anything. And the Universe seems bent on me not having it while making damn sure I have to ladle it out.

I've spent close to $5000 trying to get A Place of Safety-Derry and New World For Old some traction in sales, to minimal good. Haven't even made back 10% of that. Same thing happened with David Martin. That was more than $3000 when I worked it up...half of which was for a professional illustrator...and another bust.

It's just, I can't afford a publicist on top of it. So guess I'm a total fuckup.

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Another movie night...

Watched Mildred Pierce, the Joan Crawford version. And it amazes me she won the Oscar for that. I guess the community thought she was due, since she'd given so many truly good performances while at MGM. Because in this movie...well, there's that famous critique by Dorothy Parker -- "She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B." (Though she wasn't referring to Joan, at the time.)

Joan could be an amazing actress in the right vehicle. As the stenographer in Grand Hotel...she was a sexy little minx. And the home-wrecker in The Women...you could see how she'd trap a man. But there was nothing real about her in MP. Jack Carson, Eve Arden, and Zachary Scott were a lot more natural, making Joan's stiffness even more glaring.

I think Gene Tierney was more deserving, that year, for Leave Her to Heaven. Cold. Cruel. Unwavering. Her bit in the drowning scene, alone...let's just say it scarred me for life.

But be that as it may, it's clearing the cobwebs out of my fuzzy brain. As is inputting the corrections to the ebook and hardback files of APoS-HNH. I made a couple more changes in it, as well. Nothing major, just a better way of expressing something. My editor is about 40% of the way through.

I'm just not going to be able to focus on any other project till this is done, so have finally accepted that. I worked more on the dust jacket, neatening up the synopsis on the flaps and aligning the text and images. It's a lot better.

Oh, and I'm having a joyous time with the USPS, as well. I sent signed copies of the first two volumes of APoS to a friend in Orlando, but put his address wrong on the label. Instead of 11808 as the street number, I put 11806...and they refused to deliver it. Said No such number. So are supposed to return it. It's now nearly 6 weeks later, and I can't even find out exactly where it is or when it will be back. If ever. And since I sent it media mail, it's not insured.

I so love today's world of service and technology,

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Movie night...

I'm all set to consult with a bankruptcy attorney on Monday. Worked up more current pricing for a pair of jobs in DC in March and April, as well as discussed the logistics with a transport group. Learned the CEO of the health group I'm shifting to was murdered and his company is one of the worst when it comes to providing healthcare. Then ALSO learned my current healthcare insurance is refusing to pay for too much anesthesia, so they're just as screwed up...and it's not making me happy.

I finally said fuck it and watched Now, Voyager, for the umpteenth time. It's ripe and has a script that would displease all screenwriting gurus, today, from the sloppiness in its structure. But it's iconic.

Bette Davis actually looks beautiful and not as mannered as usual. Paul Henreid did okay in his acting, but he was better in Casablanca. But there's always Claude Rains and Gladys Cooper to liven things up, and Mary Wickes to make it fun.

Next was The Women, a real cat-fest with Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell and a dozen other actresses having a bitchy fun time. I don't like either of the remakes. They lost the whole point of the story by including men.

These are comfort movies to me. I know most of the lines and what will happen when; it's the storytelling that entrances me. And they take me the fuck away from the craziness of the world.

I've now gotten notes back on the first 25% of APoS-HNH, and some typos I can't believe I missed. Needed words, too. Man. There was only one I disagreed with because she didn't like my colloquial dialogue, at one particular moment. That's staying in. The rest...I'm pulling up not only the HB and ebook files but also the one I sent her to use so I can make sure I get all of them corrected.

Soon...soon...I will have all three volumes completed. Soon...

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

I love my car...

A lot. This little Civic has been the best car I've ever owned. But today it hurt, because I needed to have the brake system rebuilt and it cost me a shitload. Cut into my savings by more than a couple thousand. Sent me into a downward spiral I'm still caught in,

Realistically speaking, like many creative people of the past...I'm pretty much bankrupt. I'm calling an attorney, tomorrow, to discuss it. No debt mitigation. Just end it. Kill my credit. Hope I can keep one card available for work/travel. I'll have to see.

I might be able to get a card through my credit union, if I guarantee it with what's left of my savings. Dunno about that, yet. I need the legal advice, first.

What pisses me off is, I was on track to pay everything off within 16 months when Covid hit and shut everything down. I was managing to help my brother, on top of it. But my income dropped by 40%...and would have been worse had it not been for Unemployment being made available to me and that stimulus check Democrats pushed through.

Continuing to help my brother kicked me down, financially, but it was that or he'd be homeless. And my sister was doing all she could, as well. Got his eyes fixed and got him fitted with dentures. Bought him a second-hand trailer to live in so all he paid for was a space in a mobile home park, and utilities.

Now he's on SSI and in subsidized housing, and has been for a year...and I've been fighting to get my debt down. But pushing APoS with what little publicity I could get going for it was expensive and didn't do much. Then interest on one credit card rose to 20%. So the balance just kept inching up. And my income, last year, between SSI and Caladex, was about what I brought in 15 years ago. I'm amazed I've kept what I owe from doubling instead of growing by just 50% since 2020.

But eventually you have to admit that it's beyond your control. Especially since the incoming MAGAt class of politicians want to cut SSI back. Get ready for the apocalypse.

And curse all the motherfucking Democrats who didn't bother to vote or chose to teach Biden and Harris a lesson, over Gaza...and are realizing too late what a stupid fucking plan that was.

Monday, December 2, 2024

Busy-ness day...

Started off getting blood drawn for my new doctor...and learning I should have fasted for 12 hours instead of 10. Oopsie. They also had to use a vein in my forearm to get enough because going through my hand would just not work.

So I went to a nearby Mickey D's for hotcakes and sausage...but they were out. Had to go to a different one because I now had my entire life set on having them from McDonald's. Another one was up the street and that gave me exactly what I needed...with OJ.

Got milk and a couple things then came home and called a new healthcare provider about the coming changes with Blue Cross...and wound up changing policies. Highmark runs Blue Cross now, and they are not being nice so my doctors have cut them off. Turns out my new provider is better geared to my needs and cheaper. Shit, exactly what I needed...I hope. you never really know how something will work until you use it.

So now everything's set for me to dig deeper into BA, but a woman on the 6th floor decided to burn her dinner in the oven or something and we had a massive fire alarm. Total evacuation. And it smelled more like she'd put her wig in the stove and that caught fire or something. What was she cooking????

But this time I was prepared, in case we had to leave for hours. I keep a change of shirt, undies and socks in my backpack so shoved in my laptop and phone and headed downstairs. 9 flights. Lots of fun. Several fire trucks and cops all over the place, one of whom was really cute. We stood around for a while till the all cclear came through.

I returned to my place and did some thinking...no writing...on BA-Franz. It's time Léon faced certain deep-rooted urges within himself and learned he's not as in control as he thought. Which will set the stage for the coming parts, quite nicely.

He won't be feeling guilt for what he does; just shame. Embarrassment. Confusion. And Gabrielle will be there to slap him with a bit of truth. It's what big sisters are for.

As for me and the world...the image says it all, and I ain't gonna give it another thought.

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Waffling...

This is one of those days where I have no idea what I did...aside from laundry. And making my bed with clean sheets. And a dash of ironing. And lots of chit chat online with people I know. Finding out some of them have updated their contact info and getting that down.

And...thinking. Trying to decide how to handle the Franz part of Blood Angel now that I know the direction it needs to go. Léonidès has been a fairly decent guy, for a vampire. Not bestial like his sister can be. And he keeps his troupe in line, so they aren't feeding on just anyone.

But I wonder if this new aspect needs to be brought forward, more. Or now. Have Léon deal with an instinct that surprises him when he's told No. And how that should be handled. Does he seduce Franz? Coerce him? Flat out rape him? Turn him to save him from an infection that is killing him? Get interrupted as he's feeding on him to kill him? I can see justifications for them all, so can't really decide.

The only thing I know for certain, right now, is Franz is not gay and deep within him is harbored a hate and cruelty that winds up being unleashed when he's turned. And Leon thinks maybe if he's with a woman as his lead instead of a gay man that he'll be better. I haven't figured out how that will develop, yet.

But at least I'm back to thinking about a story to write. A novella. And I think I'll keep posting these on GayDemon, to be read for free. That seemed to get people interested in my actual novels. I think.

I could also do a followup to The Beast, where Warren winds up working for a secret space-ship-stop that serves fuel and meals, in some area of the desert...or mountains. And he's tasked with bringing men to it to be on the menu. That could could become very black comedy...maybe.

Oh, decisions, decisions...

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Broadsided...nicely...

I was detailing the dust jacket for HNH and went looking for an old post on Tumblr that I was sure contained some notes I'd once made about the synopsis...and this image popped up. David Beckham. Who I think is pretty hot, even if he isn't what I normally go for.

But it sidelined me. Reminded me of Franz and Léonidès' obsession with him. Got me to thinking and I came up with a reason for Blood Angel to be completed. This is what came out:

Léonidès winds up turning Franz into a Blood Angel, deliberately ignoring the wishes of the Oyim. But the guy turns out to be a full-scale horror. Killing at will. Fighting with Leon. Wreaking havoc in the clan. Leon finally tracks down Gabrielle and asks to trade Dmitriy for him. He thinks she could better control him. And she's thinking about it as she tells him...

“It’s hard to believe we are of the same blood. The same lineage. We approach the mortals in the same way, with the same goal...to feed. But for different reasons. I sought those who might help me in some way. Add to my wealth. To my retinue. To my pleasure, if you will. I cared nothing about the individual or their place in the world. It was only centered around my wants and needs, and theirs meant nothing to me.

“You, however, are the opposite. Your greatness is immaterial to you, but neither do you care about advancing theirs. No. Your reasoning is to end their cruelty and brutality. Your preference is to be judge, jury and executioner to those whom you deem unworthy of life, and you have excused this in your own mind as something good and not merely just as cruel and brutal as those you feed upon.

“How you behaved with Franz now shows me you are just as depraved as I. Just as selfish. Proving we are of the same blood. The only difference is, I am honest with mine. And more aware of it. You are still too much the little carpenter you were, before you were turned, thinking yourself an innocent youth.

“The Oyim are not our equals, you know. They can still lord it over the vampire world as much as they like. Maintain a sort of control. Present it as protection. Defensiveness. And the common members of our race will agree and follow. The mere vampires. They even have you convinced that they are more evolved than you or I, but it’s a lie.

“They are not our lords but our serfs. We are their masters, Léon, you and I. They can exert no control over us, because we are not merely Blood Angels. We are Die BlutEngel. A higher caste, even to them. And after millennia of being the highest of the high, they cannot accept being made secondary in their world. So they do all they can to keep you ignorant of the reality that you and I can do whatever we want, and need no one’s permission. Not even theirs.”

“Does this apply as well to Dmitriy and Franz? They are of our lineage.”

“No. Somehow...I do not yet fully understand how, just yet...impurities entered their strain. Franz more than Dmitriy. I almost believe with him it was his line becoming tainted by Germanic aristocracy. They have a tendency towards the brutal and mundane, cultivated due to their treatment by the Romans, no doubt.

“With Dmitriy, my feeling is his came through the Hebrew line, which added a hint of victimhood. Which is very damaging to one's self-confidence.

“However, you and I are pure Norman. No Saxon mingled in. Nor Hun. Nor Moor.”

“BlutEngel is Germanic in origin.”

“It is only their version of our true title...L’Ange de Sange.”

“Which is the same thing. Blood Angel.”

“Don’t be simplistic. There is a subtle difference in the emphasis, and that is where you and I depart from their bloodline. Evolve, if you will.”

Friday, November 29, 2024

Good advice...if you can take it...

I am going to try, once again, to simplify my life. At least some. Since I'm so close to being done with A Place of Safety and know what little more must be dealt with, concerning it -- basically, shifting the three volumes into paperback format and setting them up to be published -- I'd like to tone down all the other crap I've been dealing with.

There isn't much I really have to do, anymore. My youngest brother, Kelly, doesn't need me to help him with rent and food; he's got a steady income from SSI. And I doubt any changes the bastard MAGAts want to implement in it will take effect till the beginning of 2026. For either him or myself.

I won't be writing anything that requires massive research like APoS did. If I work on Dair's Window, I've got all the information I need for that. I'll just have to re-familiarize myself with it.

If I continue with Blood Angel, except for the part dealing with Léonidès turning Franz into a vampire I have that pretty much written up to WW2...hell, into New Orleans after Katrina. So that would be fairly straightforward to finish. 

Looking at the expenses I'll have coming up -- taxes to pay, ISBNs to buy, changes in my Medicare gap insurance -- I'm mainly in need of trimming my outgo.

I have all the DVDs I want. I have lots of books still to read...though I do find it awkward reading someone else's writing, because I'm often wondering why they chose to form a sentence this way instead of another way. Like I'm editing it. It's been so long since I've really gotten caught up in a novel...

And I'm pulling back from social media, except to push APoS. The animals have taken over Xitter and are weaving their way into Instagram and Facebook. I'll still support Ukraine as best I can, but I don't have the money to do it, anymore.

So I'm regressing into what Voltaire suggested at the end of Candide: "But let us cultivate our own garden." It's good advice in a time of complete chaos...as we are now sliding into. May even help my blood pressure, most of which is politics-driven.

That'd be a nice benefit of cocooning.

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Dust jacket...


Okay...closing in on the final product. I wound up with more synopsis than I needed so trimmed it some. Reads a lot better. Gives a fair assessment of the story, overall. I may do more editing, though; still feels a bit clumsy.

Formatted everything into place, leaving space for the reviews I asked for. That I hope will come in soon. I could just reference the ones from the two other volumes, if need be. I didn't even ask Kirkus, this time. I don't think they do well with multiple volume stories.

Shifted a lot of the graphics over from the Photoshop copy of Derry's jacket. Which made things a lot simpler. And I like the progression of the front cover images. From boy to haunted young man to ghost.

My feeling about the ending of the story is it's a lot gentler than it was, but is still not bright and happy. It never was going to be. Having lived this long, and knowing what I do about history, I cannot see anything really coming together to make things better for people. Too many powerful interests have other plans...be they the rich...or megalomaniacs...or religious leaders...none of them want peace. not really.

The story I use to illustrate this at the end is from both the Hebrew and Christian faiths, and says more about man's incapacity for simple human decency...or, on the rare occasions where they try, to maintain it for any length of time...than anything else.

I just hope it does the job I used it for.

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

I should be sketching

You know what calmed me most, today? After taking the bus out to Lia Honda, where my car's being fixed? Getting put in an Accord, which I'm grateful for but don't really like? And working at the office for a few hours before hitting a grocery story so I could have food for Thanksgiving...and still forgot to get any turkey?

It was doing this little schematic showing how many pallets of boxes we can fit into a ocean-going container. Both 40' and 20'. We don't handle a lot of ocean freight, so this was to see what we could get away with for a large shipment. It works when using both 18x14x12" and 18x14x16" boxes.

It took all my focus and consideration. Which is funny to say because it's not that complicated. But I felt like I'd created something useful and easy to follow.

I also booked another quickie job, this one in Seattle just after the first of the year. So I'll have all of December to focus on finishing HNH. Still no word from my editor. Normally, she sends me corrections in 50-75 page batches. I hate to nag, but I'll need time to input everything and finalize both the ebook and hardback.

I think for the paperbacks I'm going to do simple covers with no photo art on them. I'll have to purchase ISBNs, which will be a few hundred dollars, but that should be it. And I'll put them out at pretty much the same time. Maybe a week or two between each one. I dunno about that, yet.

I was planning to treat myself to a full-scale steak dinner, once all three volumes of APoS were out and available...but I don't know if I can afford it. I might have to scale down to Chili's or Outback Steak House instead of Ruth's Chris or Russell's. I could also check to see if that steakhouse in Niagara Falls, Canada is still open, I guess. But it'll be nothing sumptuous.

And so what? It'll still be a celebration.

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Public Service Announcement...

It seems that when you rent a car from Avis, you have to pay extra to get roadside service in case their car...a car you do not own but are already paying to use...breaks down. If you don't, they will charge you. Doesn't matter if it's not your fault. That you did everything right. That the car just stopped on its own. You get charged for them to send someone out to handle it.

That's what my day was taken up with. Fighting with Avis because they wanted to charge me $146.00 for them to take care of one of their cars breaking down. They've agreed to waive the cost, but when I mentioned I already had AAA and would have used them, instead, had I known this about them...the response was, "Well, now you know."

I also found out my Civic won't be ready till after Thanksgiving weekend...if then. And the cost to rebuild the brake system is nearly $6000. My choices are very simple -- I get the car fixed, or I junk it and do without. Because I cannot afford to buy another one. At least they'll let me use one of their loaners while it stays in the shop.

All of this snowballed into me freaking out over how deep in debt I am, and what charges I'll have coming up. Taxes. Maybe changing health insurance companies. The cost of putting APoS out in paperback. So all I did that could be considered constructive is work up my expenses for the last two jobs, which I'll take into the office tomorrow, after I get the loaner.

I have to; my printer is out of ink and I have no clean paper. Another $50-60 out the door.

How the fuck did writers manage in the face of the world's chaos? I'm no Dickens, Twain, Tolstoy or Stephen King, making a living off my words. How do you handle it when shit just keeps coming at you?

Good thing I've got a certain stubbornness in me that won't stop kicking me down the road instead of leaving me in the gutter.

Monday, November 25, 2024

Still fiddling...

I keep posting these synopses because by doing so, I'm reading them afresh and getting a better sense of how well they're doing. Or not doing. And I'm almost thinking this version doesn't really get the essence of the story and I should start over, from scratch...

Derry, April 1981

Bobby Sands’ hunger strike has been underway for a month and Northern Ireland is caught in nonstop demonstrations, protests...and death at the hands of the IRA, UDA, Constables and British soldiers. The last thing in the world Brendan wants to do is return there. But he is told his mother is dying and wants to see him, so he feels duty-bound to go.

Using the passport of his friend, Jeremy Landau, he enters into the country as an American Jew doing research for a thesis on methods of crowd control, which everyone appears to accept. After all, it’s been eight years since he was spirited away, and many think Brendan Kinsella is long dead. But the British being the British, since there was no body or funeral they're still thinking they want to question him about that bombing.

Of course, once he arrives Brendan finds out his mother never sought his return. In fact, she remains coldly antagonistic to him...while she's lucid. But Percocet messes with her grasp on reality and sometimes she even fails to recognize him as her son, while other times rambles tenderly about the past, as if he's not there. Obviously, the end is drawing near.

Brendan figures he was tricked into coming home because his younger sister, Maeve, needs the help. She is stretched to her limit, caring for Ma, and at the same time she is working for peace, with Father Jack. 

Their older sister, Mairead, is pregnant with twins so is of no use; their Aunt Mari is having issues with her own family; younger brother, Rhuari, assists as he can, but is more focused on keeping himself and his wife as far away from the back and forth with the Constables and Army as possible; while the youngest, Kieran, is in gleeful confrontation with them.

But worse that all of that? His older brother, Eamonn, who’s been in prison for years, is being pushed by Kieran and Ma to add his name to the list of hunger strikers. Something Brendan cannot abide.

He pitches in to help Maeve, planning to keep as low a profile as possible until his mother is gone, even as her ramblings raise troubling questions about his father’s past and why he was murdered. They also reveal unknown aspects of his life that shake Brendan’s long-held disdain for him. He starts to dig deeper into the man’s life, but then Father Jack lets slip that Joanna might not have been killed, sending Brendan careening into turmoil.

For eight years he’d thought her dead and himself partly to blame, and no one had said a word to him, otherwise. He tries to find a way to verify it without revealing himself, but before he can do so Bobby Sands dies and Derry explodes into more death and destruction.

Now Brendan is trapped. The British Army knows he's not Jeremy and are closing in to arrest him. And it looks more and more like there is no safe place for him.

Does this make you want to read the story?

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Working on it...

This image is going to be on the back of the jacket.

I adjusted the synopsis for the dust jacket while en route to Chicago. Longer...more detailed...but better? Seems a bit loose.

Derry, April 1981

The hunger strike has been underway for a month and Northern Ireland is in turmoil. Demonstrations. Protests. Rioting. And more death at the hands of the IRA, Constables and British soldiers. The last thing in the world Brendan wants to do is return there. But he is told his mother is dying and she wants to see him, so he feels duty-bound to go.

Using the passport of his friend, Jeremy Landau, he slips into the country pretending to be an American Jew researching a paper for his thesis, and everyone appears to accept that. After all, it’s been eight years since he was spirited off, and many think the lad known as Brendan Kinsella is long dead...though that doesn't keep the British from still wanting to question him about the bombing that nearly killed him.

He quickly finds out his mother did not ask for him. In fact, she remains coldly antagonistic to him...while lucid. Under the effects of Percocet, she sometimes rambles about the past and fails to recognize him as her son. It is now very obvious the end is near, for her.

Brendan figures he was tricked into coming home because it is Maeve, his younger sister, who needs him. She is stretched to her limit, caring for Ma and working for peace, with Father Jack. His older sister, Mairead, is pregnant with twins so cannot help. His Aunt Mari is having issues with her own family. His younger brother, Rhuari, has been helping some, but is more focused on keeping himself and his wife as much out of the back and forth with the Constables and Army as possible. And his youngest brother, Kieran, is in gleeful confrontation with them.

But what is worse? His older brother, Eamonn, is in prison and being pushed to add his name to the list of hunger strikers. Something Brendan cannot abide.

Since his mother’s death is near, Brendan stays to help Maeve while keeping as low a profile as possible. But his mother’s ramblings raise questions about his father’s past and why the man was murdered. And he is sent careening into turmoil when Father Jack lets slip that Joanna might not have been killed in the bombing that injured Brendan. He tries to find a way to verify it without revealing himself but is blocked at every turn.

Until Bobby Sands dies and Derry explodes into full-scale rioting and death, trapping Brendan in the chaos as the British Army’s search for him closes in.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

Cover work started...

I've begun prepping the dust jacket for A Place of Safety-Home Not Home and it's coming together nicely except for one thing -- I need to expand my synopsis for the flaps. What I have now is short, tense and to the point...maybe too much so.

April 1981

Hunger strikes are underway and Northern Ireland is in turmoil. That’s when Brendan is called home, thinking his terminally ill mother wants to see him. He travels there under a different name, trying to keep a low profile because the British still want to question him about the bombing that injured him. What he finds is, despite being in the final stages of cancer she is still very antagonistic towards him.

But he also sees his sister, Maeve, is worn out both caring for their mother while also working for peace. His younger brother, Rhuari, helps some but tries to keep himself out of the back-and-forth with the Army. then there's his youngest brother, Kieran, who treats full confrontation with the authorities as a game. What is worse, his older brother, Eamonn, is locked up in Maze prison, is considering adding his name to the list of hunger strikers.

Then under the influence of her medication, his mother inadvertently reveals secrets about his father that make him wonder if the man’s murder was really sectarian violence or merely petty revenge. But as he looks into it, Father Jack inadvertently reveals to him that Joanna might still be alive, which knocks Brendan off-center. He tries to find a way to verify it without revealing himself yet is blocked at everyu turn.

Then Bobby Sands dies and Derry explodes into rioting and death, trapping Brendan in the chaos as the British Army’s search for him begins to close in.

It barely covers the front flap so I've removed it.. Much more is needed...maybe. I'm still thinking on that.


Friday, November 22, 2024

Home, and happier...

Drove back to Buffalo along the 90 Thruway with it raining nonstop. Even a dash of snow.  The big, black Jeep Grand Cherokee Hybrid I was given is very comfortable and the heated seats were all I really needed to keep warm enough. If I get too cozy, I get sleepy, so I let myself stay a bit on the chilled side.

Tomorrow is laundry, a few groceries, gas, and sorting out the paperwork. I'm not turning the car in till Sunday, when I fly out for Chicago. It was a week charge for the vehicle, anyway. I still prefer my Civic's size to this SUV, but I can adjust.

My constant, right now, is being in a sort of limbo when it comes to the writing projects. I cannot seem to focus on anything except finalizing HNH. I did add in a bit where Brendan gives a deposition about being waterboarded while at Castlereagh. But he knows nothing will come of it. The European Court on Human Rights is too weak to go up against England's self-righteousness, as was proven in 1978 when Ireland asked them to designate the Army's treatment of certain prisoners as torture instead of, effectively, just saying it wasn't nice to do.

It added a paragraph into the next to the last chapter, but didn't affect the Table of Contents numbering.

I also decided I didn't like the final sentence of the chapter preceding it. Brendan saying his new role in life was that of Brendan Kinsella. It's silly. I have to think of a better one.

As I've often noted, the book is not done being written until it's in print.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Milk is the magic elixir...

Got the books on their way, despite a steady downpour of rain. There were two people with the van for pickup, so I let them bring the boxes out and I wiped off the water, once they were in the van, so everything would stay dry. I now know that 34 cartons at 18x14x12" will cover the floorboard of a transit van, wall to wall to the back of the seats.

Dropped by the Norman Rockwell Museum afterwards and got an actual poster of Murder in Mississippi. They didn't have it available the last time I went, a few years back. I have a smaller printout of it framed and on my wall to remind me that racist murder and hate have long been a part of this country's heritage.

Then I had a decent pizza and took a nap...and woke up feeling cranky. Till I had a glass of milk. That seemed to even me out. I like milk...not just in my tea but to cook with and...well, to be honest...it's almost like a comfort food. I practically lived on it when I was growing up. Would drink it instead of water. Same for cheese. Must be the Norwegian in me.

I worked up costing for a couple possible jobs in February and March/April...and found out there will be a shadow fair in San Francisco the weekend before the California Book Fair in Pasadena. Seems the organizers finally managed to drive out the previous people arranging the fair, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. But it's not something I need to deal with.

My next project is getting the book cover done for HNH. I have the template and will do the same as with Derry and NWFO...leave a blank space on the back for any reviews that come in. I'm not asking Kirkus because the last one was a bit off-putting. Didn't seem connected to the first book, at all. BookLife paid more attention to it.

So tomorrow is heading home. Then it's a quick job in Chicago-not-Chicago. Fun.