Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Friday, December 20, 2024

Writing a freebie can be ludicrous...

...If you let it be. While waiting for the proof of APoS-HNH, I got back to working on The Beast Dines Out and let it go wherever it wanted to. Which is a pretty bizarre place. And it's rather unsettling that I'm writing this piece, yet also liberating.

As already noted, the Beast makes a clone of Dirc to have the cops searching for him find and think he's back in custody. It's done in a way for him to be comatose, so there's no concern or question about him. 

What's crazy is, When Dirc sees the clone, both he and it are naked, and he compares himself to himself. Even asks the Beast if he can get the clone to be erect so he can see what his dick looks like from a different perspective.

The prurient aspect of him was left out of the clone because it would take too long to bland in. It's a body with all the organs working but no thoughts or voice.

So it dresses itself and gets beaten up by the Beast's spacecraft before being dropped into the aqueduct near the overturned bus. Where the search party locates it and rushes it off to a hospital

This bit wound up being 2200 words long. The whole thing is now over 10,400 words, and I'm maybe halfway through...and it's shifting from black comedy to absurdist theater. Even the non-consensual gay sex in it is on the crazy side.

I wonder what that says about me?

Thursday, December 19, 2024

APoS-HNH is almost completely done!!!


I finally got my review from booklife and plugged some of it onto the back of the dust jacket...then uploaded everything to Ingram to start making it available in hardcover. My hope is to have it available for purchase through Amazon, B&N and BAM! by the end of the year.

Here's the review:

"Sullivan concludes his A Place of Safety trilogy (after New World for Old) by transforming Brendan Kinsella into Jeremy Landau, a Texan researcher of Jewish heritage. It’s 1981, and Brendan’s mission is to return to his native Ireland, virtually incognito as Jeremy—who is there to draw parallels between the Irish hunger strikes and the Israeli and Palestinian clashes. With his southern drawl, close-cropped hair, and NASA baseball cap, he is nearly unrecognizable, even to his closest friends.

The journey—prompted by his mother’s impending death—draws him back to a country that never truly let him go. But Sullivan makes it clear that Ireland hasn’t forgotten Brendan. Both the IRA and British intelligence have him firmly on their radar, each vying to extract information about the bombers behind a years-ago tragedy that claimed the love of his life, Joanna. Even as Brendan navigates a tense web of intrigue, the alphabet organizations—like the PIRA, OIRA, UDF, UVF, and RUC—scrutinize his every move, turning each checkpoint into a gauntlet of suspicion, revenge, and betrayal, while Sullivan resurrects Brendan’s past with an eerie twist: Joanna may still be alive.

Haunted by this revelation, Brendan embarks on a perilous quest to save his family and piece together the truth about his parents, uncovering recordings that provide startling insight into their lives and motives along the way. His pursuit is as much about understanding his own identity as it is about uncovering hidden truths and enduring tortured interrogations. Sullivan intricately weaves trauma, history, and espionage into a narrative that demands careful attention. The backstory, richly detailed and emotionally charged, requires patience to fully absorb, especially for readers unfamiliar with the earlier books in the trilogy. For the most rewarding experience, starting with the first series offering will deliver the clarity and depth needed to appreciate the full scope of this complex saga.

Takeaway: Emotionally charged intertwining of trauma, love, and acceptance."

I can live with this...

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Even nothing stories need to make sense...

Working on The Beast Dines Out and I just chucked everything I did for Chapter Four. It was silly and self-indulgent, and went nowhere. I had the Beast proving to Warren...no, I'm referring to him as Dirc, from now on. It was proving how completely in control of him it was...when that's been obvious from the beginning of this story. Why would it need to prove anything?

After grumping around for half the day and making myself go out in the middle of a snowstorm to drop my last Christmas card in the mail...and get brownie mix because I really, really wanted brownies, tonight...I figured out the real issue is, if Dirc is to work with the Beast something has to be done about him being a fugitive. He's slated for execution so he'll be on the FBI's most wanted list, and considering his notoriety for being a massively prolific serial killer, his face is known by everyone.

Unless he's dead or in custody. So the Beast is going to make a clone of him and dump it back at the scene of the bus wreck. That gets found. Maybe in a coma. Maybe dead. Word gets out and around, change his hair or grow a beard, and he's safe to help set up the intergalactic truck stop.

He's being paid in gold nuggets, which he needs to explain. They're very prevalent in the universe. So I remembered Call of the Wild and how crazy it got when hundreds of thousands of men and women set out for the Yukon to hunt for gold. Meaning...start up a new gold rush and let the meat come to you.

That's a pretty callous way of approaching this story, I have to admit, and it makes me more than a little antsy. The humanist in me points out the lives and futures lost, innocent men killed and fed to aliens...but I think of the incoming administration and the direction America is hurtling down, and it's seeming more and more like I'm just referencing a form of reality in this country.

I just don't understand America, anymore, and I'm hoping this story...and more of Blood Angel...can help me sort things out. Or let off some anger and confusion. Because apparently denying healthcare to people in order to maximize profits...which often kills them...is considered business as usual while someone fighting back against it by killing the head of one of the worst perpetrators of it is terrorism.

And FWIW, I wound up making the world's worst brownies, this evening. Burned on the bottom; center not cooked. Master chef, I am not; foul mood, I am in.

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

This is truth...

 And I have nothing to add...

...except I needed to escape from it all, today...and still do...
God dammit, I hate people.


Monday, December 16, 2024

Arthur Penn Speaks...

I was sent this by a couple of friends so thought I'd share:

"I do not want to know another thing about what a nice guy or gal someone on the stage is: This is entirely irrelevant to me. Some sort of desperation has crept into our theatre--all of our arts, really, but we're discussing theatre--where we feel a defensive wall is erected around the meretriciousness of our work by highlighting how hard someone has worked; how many hours they've put in at the soup kitchen; how many hours they spent researching the aphasic mind in order to replicate the actions of one; how many ribbons sweep across their breast in support of causes; how much they love their lives and how lucky they feel to be on Broadway!

There is very little art, but there is a great deal of boosterism. Fill the seats; buy a T-shirt; post something on the Internet; send out an e-mail blast.

I'm in my eighties, and I think I should have left this earth never knowing what an e-mail blast was.

I saw a play recently that was festooned with understudies: Not the actual understudies, but the hired, primary actors, all of whom performed (if that is the word) precisely like a competent, frightened understudy who got a call at dinner and who raced down to take over a role. No depth; no sense of preparation. These were actors who had learned their lines and who had showed up. And that is all.

I spoke to the director afterwards. By all accounts a nice and talented and smart guy. I asked him why a particular part in this play--a Group Theatre classic--had been given to this certain actor. He's a great guy, was the response. Prince of a fellow. Well, perhaps, but send him home to be a prince to his wife and children; he is a shattering mediocrity. But nice and easy counts far too much these days. Another director told me--proudly--that he had just completed his third play in which there wasn't one difficult player; not one distraction; not one argument. Can I add that these were among the most boring plays of our time? They were like finely buffed episodes of Philco Playhouse: tidy, neat, pre-digested, and forgotten almost immediately, save for the rage I felt at another missed opportunity.

All great work comes to us through various forms of friction. I like this friction; I thrive on it. I keep hearing that Kim Stanley was difficult. Yes, she was: in the best sense of the word. She questioned everything; nailed everything down; got answers; motivated everyone to work at her demonically high standard. Everyone improved, as did the project on which she was working, whether it was a scene in class, a TV project, a film, or a play. Is that difficult? Bring more of them on.

Is Dustin Hoffman difficult? You bet. He wants it right; he wants everything right, and that means you and that means me. I find it exhilarating, but in our current culture, they would prefer someone who arrived on time, shared pictures of the family, hugged everyone and reminded them of how blessed he is to be in a play, and who does whatever the director asks of him.

Is Warren Beatty difficult? Only if you're mediocre or lazy. If you work hard and well, he's got your back, your front, and your future well in hand. He gets things right--for everybody.

No friction. No interest. No play. No film. It's very depressing.

I don't want to know about your process. I want to see the results of it. I'll gladly help an actor replicate and preserve and share whatever results from all the work that has been done on a part, but I don't want to hear about it. I've worked with actors who read a play a couple of times and fully understood their characters and gave hundreds of brilliant performances. I don't know how they reached that high level of acting, and I don't care. My job is to provide a safe environment, to hold you to the high standards that have been set by the playwright, the other actors, and by me. I hold it all together, but I don't need to know that your second-act scene is so true because you drew upon the death of your beloved aunt or the time your father burned your favorite doll.

Now the process is public, and actors want acclimation for the work they've put into the work that doesn't work. Is this insane? Read the newspapers, and there is an actor talking about his intentions with a part. I've pulled strands of O'Neill into this character, and I'm looking at certain paintings and photographs to gain a certain texture. And then you go to the theatre and see the performance of a frightened understudy. But a great gal or guy. Sweet. Loves the theatre.

Every year or so, I tell myself I'm going to stop going to see plays. It's just too depressing. But I remember how much I love what theatre can be and what theatre was, and I go back, an old addict, an old whore who wants to get the spark going again.

I don't think we can get the spark going again because the people working in the theatre today never saw the spark, so they can't get it going or keep it going if it walked right up to them and asked for a seat.

It's a job, a career step, a rehabilitation for a failed TV star or aging film star. I got a call from one of these actresses, seeking coaching. I need my cred back, she said. This is not what the theatre is supposed to be, but it is what the theatre now is.

I don't want to just shit on the theatre: It's bad everywhere, because it's all business, real-estate space with actors. It's no longer something vital. I used to think that the theatre was like a good newspaper: It provided a service; people wanted and needed it; revenue was provided by advertisers who bought space if the paper delivered, but profit was not the motive--the motive was the dissemination of truth and news and humor. Who goes to the theatre at all now? I think those in the theatre go because it's an occupational requirement: They want to keep an eye on what the other guys are going, and they want to rubberneck backstage with those who might use them in the future. But who are the audiences? They want relief not enlightenment. They want ease. This is fatal.

I talk to Sidney Lumet. I talk to Mike Nichols. I ask them if I'm the crazy old man who hates everything. You might be, they say, but you're not wrong. They have the same feelings, but they work them out or work around them in different ways.

The primary challenges of the theatre should not always be getting people to give a shit about it. The primary challenge should be to produce plays that reach out to people and change their lives. Theatre is not an event, like a hayride or a junior prom--it's an artistic, emotional experience in which people who have privately worked out their stories share them with a group of people who are, without their knowledge, their friends, their peers, their equals, their partners on a remarkable ride."

~~ director ARTHUR PENN

He died 14 years ago...and it hasn't gotten any better. 

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Blogger's being ridiculous...

My previous post is blocked behind a warning of inappropriate content and I have absolutely no idea why. There is no nudity. No more cursing than usual. No threats of violence or attacks on anyone. I can find no reason in any of their so-called community standards to put that label on it and kill its viewing. But there is it.

And I cannot appeal it. I have access to a dozen different ways to report a problem that is a violation, but nothing to ask for a review. I guess when you're using a platform that is, in effect, free...you have to put up with their stupidity.

I did more writing on The Beast Dines Out. It's at 5500 words and I'm not even 25% done. It's flowing out of me, so I'm loathe to stop it.

What seems to be building here is just another capitalistic venture on the part of Warren and his Extraterrestrial buddy. Or partner. Not sure which, yet.

I do know Warren's getting paid in raw stones or gold or something mineral. I doubt aliens use American Express...though I suppose it's not an impossible thing to consider. I wonder if they'd sponsor me...

I don't want this to seem like a ripoff of The Little Shop of Horrors. It's got a similar approach to the horror and bloodshed...jokey and dark...but mine's coupled with the beginning of a franchise operation that might help take care of overpopulation. There's also the original The Hills Have Eyes and the nearly goofy attitude the family has to their victims; gotta be careful I don't get weird.

So...I'm back to writing...

Saturday, December 14, 2024

The Beast Dines Out...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Friday, December 13, 2024

Am I crazy?

John Wayne Gacy raped and murdered 33 young men and boys like this. That we know of. He was found guilty and executed for it 30 years ago. I remember reading about it at the time, it being just a few years after Elmer Wayne Henley and Dean Corll had been revealed as having raped and murdered 27 boys in Houston. Soon after came William Bonin and Randy Kraft, and then things seemed to calm down.

I'm completely, totally, and absolutely anti-death penalty. I'll joke about there always being exceptions...usually dealing with right wing scum or dictators like Putin or Xi...but in truth my aversion to it even extends to them. Innocent people have been executed, and I believe it's better to let 99 evil men live than let 1 innocent man be murdered by the state.

Gacy is usually included in the group I joke about there being an exception for...and considering the hideousness of his crimes, it's hard not to give in to the idea that he deserved it. But I also keep in mind that he did not kill all his victims. Some of them he just plain let go. Took them back to where he'd picked them up and gave them his contact information, as if it had just been a sexual encounter and not a kidnapping and sexual assault.

Several went to the cops and were brushed off. One, Jeff Rignall, wrote a book about what happened and testified at Gacy's murder trial, detailing the brutality for the record. What's wild about that is, he was testifying for the defense to try and prove that Gacy was mentally ill. Others also told of their assaults and how the police ignored them...until 15 year-old Robert Piest was kidnapped and killed under circumstances that, in retrospect, seemed like a cry from the man to stop him, it was so stupidly done.

Well...for some reason all day I've been thinking about how Gacy did not kill all of his rape victims. And how, considering rape is very rarely reported by men or women, it's likely the majority of his victims were simply released. And wondering if that might be a way into his story to bring sympathy to him.

Or understanding.

Which is why I wonder if I'm crazy. Considering writing a story that explains a vile, vicious serial killer as just another messed up dude. A guy who lost control of his inner demons. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that stems from seeing just how vile and vicious and depraved human beings have been to each other in just this century.

I'd once read a commentary that back when wars were far more common serial killers went off to battle and satiated their bloodlust with slaughter covered by battle, invasion or genocide. Russians' actions in Ukraine sort of support that idea, considering how barbaric they've been in places like Bucha and the east of Ukraine. Even considering what little I know about WW2 and the fighting between Germans and Russians in Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe...that almost bears it out.

I have no idea where I'm going with this, if anywhere. It's just something that took hold of my brain, today, and makes me a bit nervous...and fascinated...and probably nuts.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Fully accepted...

Smashwords is happy. Their sub groups are happy. I'm happy enough to post HNH as part of Smashwords' End of Year sale at half price. My inner birthday dragon is pleased...

Lots of my books are on sale, though not all. Many are free. Check down my profile page to see which are and which aren't, if you want to buy any. Not all of them are MM erotica.

So now what? Just waiting for the last bit to plug into the back of the dust jacket and I'm antsy. The job in Baltimore turned out not to need me, so that trip's off. All I have set coming up is in Seattle, first week of January. Then I have to be available for Jury Duty the week of the 20th. After that are California's book fairs, which I won't be dealing with.

I could write more...but I'm not really up for that. In any form. Maybe something will hit me; I never know. But right now I'm very much at loose ends. Watch movies? Catch up on my reading? See if I can stop rewriting other writers' sentences and restructuring their stories? That'd be a trick.

I took an online course, today, to verify I qualify for bankruptcy, and I do. I've stopped using the cards, completely, already. Had all my auto-pays shifted to either Paypal or my bank, which doesn't make me comfortable. I'd like to use my new credit card, but won't see that for another week. So even my finances are still in limbo.

I think I may go for a trip to Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Just to get the hell out of the US. I'm sick to death not only of the GOP but the MAGAts that follow them...who seem to be spreading their infection, like rabies does in animals. I like to think I'm vaccinated against it, but you never know until you get sick.

I had to take the rabies shots when I was about four years-old. A neighbor's dog bit me, and she refused to let it be tested. We were living outside the city limits of San Antonio and Bexar County refused to make her do it, so I got the shots as a precaution. In the stomach. Either 2 or 3 of them, not sure. Just remember screaming my head off a couple of times.

Maybe that's inoculated me against right-wing stupidity.

Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Home Not Home is officially published...

I got the last notes on HNH early this afternoon so made all the changes, needed, and uploaded it to Smashwords. Meaning it can now be bought in ebook formats. It still has to go through a review to see if a couple of the groups that offer ebooks will accept it in their catalogues, but I'm not worried about them. It has no porn, which is all that seems to freak them out.

I did do a bit of rewriting near the end, when Brendan is being taken to where he thinks Joanna lives. Made it more emotional a journey. I didn't have him describe how nervous and expectant he was; I worked it into him having memories of his walk to Claudy as a boy. And the tenderness of the passing farms as dusk settles in. And then...when the truck he's in stops...how it's an effort for him to do anything but keep looking down the road.

God, I hope I'm not being self-indulgent or ridiculous in my pride over this book. But I am fucking proud. I did something I did not know I could do.

The hardcover is still pending. I'm waiting to see if the review I requested from BookLife will come in so I can post it on the back cover...or learn they didn't like this volume and so use quotes from the two previous reviews by them and Kirkus.

I could have asked Kirkus to review this one, I suppose, but I'm leery of how they work so just...didn't.

Anyway, I've aligned it with Smashwords' end of year sale -- half-price through January 1st. And in the meantime, I'll read up on ways to get notice going for the book. I've already read a couple of articles that had no real information in them, so that won't be easy. It seems everyone wants you to pay for their services before they impart their knowledge, which I understand but don't have the money for.

And at the rate I'm going, never will.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Surprising feedback...

One of my building's office people tried to read The Alice '65 but said the print is too small. Makes her eyes hurt. She's older but not elderly, and does wear glasses...but apparently those didn't help.

I checked it and I did the text in TNR 10 point font, while I've been doing APoS in 11 point, which is a bit easier to read. Of course, the file being used by my editor is Courier 12 point and I've done my own proofing using 14 point blown up to 150 view, to make the errors more obvious. But I'm wondering if I should consider reworking A65 with a larger point size.

Maybe I'll even do the PB editions of APoS in 12 point to make it a clearer read. I doubt many young people will be reading the books...except maybe in ebook, which can be increased in size on the viewer. But this was something I hadn't give a lot of consideration to.

I'd looked at dozens of novels in paperback and hardcover to get an idea of how they were formatted and laid out and such, but I didn't really pay attention to the font size. To me, larger print was like this:

A Place of Safety

-- and for people who were nearing blindness. I'm fortunate in that while I do need glasses for reading or seeing things up close, I'm fine most of the time without them. And making my books into large print just seemed like a lot of time and effort for minimal use. Kind of limiting, that way of thinking.

Oh, well...live and learn...maybe...

Monday, December 9, 2024

Another step taken...

It's begun. I not only qualify for bankruptcy, we've initiated the process. It means wiping out all my credit cards, so I'm getting one through my Credit Union that's secured by a cash deposit. It's limiting, but it gets me back on track and a huge weight off my shoulders. And if I'm careful, I can do just about all my traveling, using it.

That's one step back to being in some kind of control. Next will be publishing APoS-HNH. Got more notes, today, and we're 3/4 of the way through. A couple of moments were not written very well so I did a bit of polishing on them. But overall it's holding up.

Publisher's Weekly isn't going to review Home Not Home, so all I can do is wait for BookLife's review. Should be appearing soon. Put that on the jacket, maybe some quotes for Derry and New World For Old. We'll see what happens.

Fortunately, I'm at the less expensive end of the whole routine. I'll need to buy a physical proof and some copies I promised, but that's it. when I get around to doing the paperbacks, I'll have to buy some ISBNs and those are pricy, but I don't think I'm using images for the covers. Or if I do, I'll work up some simple pen and ink renditions to use in the background. I dunno, yet.

I'm going to dig through all the groups swearing they know how to help you sell millions of copies of your books and see if any make any sense...without it costing me a huge amount. That's always the trick.

I really hate being in this situation, but with the coming uncertainty thanks to the MAGAt scum and Democrats' wishy-washy-ness, I have to plan for the worst.

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Bit by bit...

Got more corrections on APoS-HNH and we're now over halfway through. And some of these are really embarrassing. Like misspelling Michael and repeating words. I'm shaking my head at myself.

No movie, tonight. Instead I did preliminary work on taxes to have for tomorrow's meeting. It's kind of a shock to see that I've spent nearly $6000.00 getting A Place of Safety going, this year, and finding out just how little return there has been on it, thus far.

I know I shouldn't care. I'm glad I'm so close to being done with the book, and I do feel I did right by Brendan's story, but it's tipped me into bankruptcy. Maybe. Depends on if I qualify. I may not.

What's really sad about this is, I've got a really good credit rating, and no matter what that's going to vanish. I won't be defaulting on anything till next month.

So while it's wonderful that Brendan's story is now available to read and I can focus on finding ways to get people interested in it...I wish it hadn't come to this. It's fucking depressing. But I'm $38,000 in debt, which is $4000 more than I made, last year, and I can't keep going like this. Especially if the MAGAt scum get their way and start cutting Social Security benefits.

I like to think they're in too much turmoil, themselves, to really get anything done. But that's too much like wishful thinking.

So this is a preemptive strike. Cutting my costs as much as possible and trying to rebuild my savings, in anticipation. Won't be easy, no matter what.

Saturday, December 7, 2024

Charlie Chan night...

I have many of the Charlie Chan movies, from the 30s and 40s, and I'm going to go through them all, again. I've seen most several times, each, but still like to watch them. My favorites are Charlie Chan at the Opera, ...in Egypt, ...at the Olympics, and ...in Panama.

Warner Oland was the best one. He was Swedish but had some Mongolian ancestry so had a vaguely Asian aspect to his face. I don't have his first one, Charlie Chan Carries On, nor have I seen it. It's considered lost, but there's a Spanish version, apparently. I need to track it down. See how good my Spanish is...except they used a Spanish actor for Charlie Chan, so it may not really count.

I used to watch these on Saturdays, as a boy at my grandmother's. Black and white console TV in the same ratio so they lost nothing when I finally got them on VHS...then DVD. Sydney Toler was okay as Chan. Just not as warm as Oland. And I didn't like the Roland Winters ones; they were cheesy and done without thought.

There was one version from about 1929 or 1930 where Charlie Chan was a secondary character in San Francisco who helped the white British detective catch a killer before he killed the only witness against him. It was quite violent, but it also had images of San Francisco's streets at that time and was, overall, quite good. But I can't remember the title and my search is coming up blank, so far,.

A lot of today was spent pulling together paperwork and filling in forms for my meeting on Monday with the bankruptcy lawyer. It's a free consultation to see if I really qualify. Who knows how it will turn out.

Friday, December 6, 2024

New site to try...

I was directed to a site I'd never heard of, before -- Book Funnel -- so set up an account and posted The Vanishing of Owen Taylor on there. There's another of Smashwords' sales promotions coming up, on it, and one of the other authors I follow on Facebook is going to put it in her newsletter, with links to that site. May as well give it a go.

Of course, people can also go to my profile page and see which books I've added to the sale and which I haven't. Some will be free. Both of the APoS volumes available will be half price. My gay erotica is $0.99, as always.

I'm realizing there are several places readers can go to for gay erotica...where it's free. They can't own it, but they get to read it. I tried one out with The Beast and it seemed to make people happy. Got some good feedback on it. But no money...and that explains why sales have gone flat.

I'm at that stage of life where I need the cash more than anything. And the Universe seems bent on me not having it while making damn sure I have to ladle it out.

I've spent close to $5000 trying to get A Place of Safety-Derry and New World For Old some traction in sales, to minimal good. Haven't even made back 10% of that. Same thing happened with David Martin. That was more than $3000 when I worked it up...half of which was for a professional illustrator...and another bust.

It's just, I can't afford a publicist on top of it. So guess I'm a total fuckup.

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Another movie night...

Watched Mildred Pierce, the Joan Crawford version. And it amazes me she won the Oscar for that. I guess the community thought she was due, since she'd given so many truly good performances while at MGM. Because in this movie...well, there's that famous critique by Dorothy Parker -- "She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B." (Though she wasn't referring to Joan, at the time.)

Joan could be an amazing actress in the right vehicle. As the stenographer in Grand Hotel...she was a sexy little minx. And the home-wrecker in The Women...you could see how she'd trap a man. But there was nothing real about her in MP. Jack Carson, Eve Arden, and Zachary Scott were a lot more natural, making Joan's stiffness even more glaring.

I think Gene Tierney was more deserving, that year, for Leave Her to Heaven. Cold. Cruel. Unwavering. Her bit in the drowning scene, alone...let's just say it scarred me for life.

But be that as it may, it's clearing the cobwebs out of my fuzzy brain. As is inputting the corrections to the ebook and hardback files of APoS-HNH. I made a couple more changes in it, as well. Nothing major, just a better way of expressing something. My editor is about 40% of the way through.

I'm just not going to be able to focus on any other project till this is done, so have finally accepted that. I worked more on the dust jacket, neatening up the synopsis on the flaps and aligning the text and images. It's a lot better.

Oh, and I'm having a joyous time with the USPS, as well. I sent signed copies of the first two volumes of APoS to a friend in Orlando, but put his address wrong on the label. Instead of 11808 as the street number, I put 11806...and they refused to deliver it. Said No such number. So are supposed to return it. It's now nearly 6 weeks later, and I can't even find out exactly where it is or when it will be back. If ever. And since I sent it media mail, it's not insured.

I so love today's world of service and technology,

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Movie night...

I'm all set to consult with a bankruptcy attorney on Monday. Worked up more current pricing for a pair of jobs in DC in March and April, as well as discussed the logistics with a transport group. Learned the CEO of the health group I'm shifting to was murdered and his company is one of the worst when it comes to providing healthcare. Then ALSO learned my current healthcare insurance is refusing to pay for too much anesthesia, so they're just as screwed up...and it's not making me happy.

I finally said fuck it and watched Now, Voyager, for the umpteenth time. It's ripe and has a script that would displease all screenwriting gurus, today, from the sloppiness in its structure. But it's iconic.

Bette Davis actually looks beautiful and not as mannered as usual. Paul Henreid did okay in his acting, but he was better in Casablanca. But there's always Claude Rains and Gladys Cooper to liven things up, and Mary Wickes to make it fun.

Next was The Women, a real cat-fest with Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell and a dozen other actresses having a bitchy fun time. I don't like either of the remakes. They lost the whole point of the story by including men.

These are comfort movies to me. I know most of the lines and what will happen when; it's the storytelling that entrances me. And they take me the fuck away from the craziness of the world.

I've now gotten notes back on the first 25% of APoS-HNH, and some typos I can't believe I missed. Needed words, too. Man. There was only one I disagreed with because she didn't like my colloquial dialogue, at one particular moment. That's staying in. The rest...I'm pulling up not only the HB and ebook files but also the one I sent her to use so I can make sure I get all of them corrected.

Soon...soon...I will have all three volumes completed. Soon...

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

I love my car...

A lot. This little Civic has been the best car I've ever owned. But today it hurt, because I needed to have the brake system rebuilt and it cost me a shitload. Cut into my savings by more than a couple thousand. Sent me into a downward spiral I'm still caught in,

Realistically speaking, like many creative people of the past...I'm pretty much bankrupt. I'm calling an attorney, tomorrow, to discuss it. No debt mitigation. Just end it. Kill my credit. Hope I can keep one card available for work/travel. I'll have to see.

I might be able to get a card through my credit union, if I guarantee it with what's left of my savings. Dunno about that, yet. I need the legal advice, first.

What pisses me off is, I was on track to pay everything off within 16 months when Covid hit and shut everything down. I was managing to help my brother, on top of it. But my income dropped by 40%...and would have been worse had it not been for Unemployment being made available to me and that stimulus check Democrats pushed through.

Continuing to help my brother kicked me down, financially, but it was that or he'd be homeless. And my sister was doing all she could, as well. Got his eyes fixed and got him fitted with dentures. Bought him a second-hand trailer to live in so all he paid for was a space in a mobile home park, and utilities.

Now he's on SSI and in subsidized housing, and has been for a year...and I've been fighting to get my debt down. But pushing APoS with what little publicity I could get going for it was expensive and didn't do much. Then interest on one credit card rose to 20%. So the balance just kept inching up. And my income, last year, between SSI and Caladex, was about what I brought in 15 years ago. I'm amazed I've kept what I owe from doubling instead of growing by just 50% since 2020.

But eventually you have to admit that it's beyond your control. Especially since the incoming MAGAt class of politicians want to cut SSI back. Get ready for the apocalypse.

And curse all the motherfucking Democrats who didn't bother to vote or chose to teach Biden and Harris a lesson, over Gaza...and are realizing too late what a stupid fucking plan that was.

Monday, December 2, 2024

Busy-ness day...

Started off getting blood drawn for my new doctor...and learning I should have fasted for 12 hours instead of 10. Oopsie. They also had to use a vein in my forearm to get enough because going through my hand would just not work.

So I went to a nearby Mickey D's for hotcakes and sausage...but they were out. Had to go to a different one because I now had my entire life set on having them from McDonald's. Another one was up the street and that gave me exactly what I needed...with OJ.

Got milk and a couple things then came home and called a new healthcare provider about the coming changes with Blue Cross...and wound up changing policies. Highmark runs Blue Cross now, and they are not being nice so my doctors have cut them off. Turns out my new provider is better geared to my needs and cheaper. Shit, exactly what I needed...I hope. you never really know how something will work until you use it.

So now everything's set for me to dig deeper into BA, but a woman on the 6th floor decided to burn her dinner in the oven or something and we had a massive fire alarm. Total evacuation. And it smelled more like she'd put her wig in the stove and that caught fire or something. What was she cooking????

But this time I was prepared, in case we had to leave for hours. I keep a change of shirt, undies and socks in my backpack so shoved in my laptop and phone and headed downstairs. 9 flights. Lots of fun. Several fire trucks and cops all over the place, one of whom was really cute. We stood around for a while till the all cclear came through.

I returned to my place and did some thinking...no writing...on BA-Franz. It's time Léon faced certain deep-rooted urges within himself and learned he's not as in control as he thought. Which will set the stage for the coming parts, quite nicely.

He won't be feeling guilt for what he does; just shame. Embarrassment. Confusion. And Gabrielle will be there to slap him with a bit of truth. It's what big sisters are for.

As for me and the world...the image says it all, and I ain't gonna give it another thought.

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Waffling...

This is one of those days where I have no idea what I did...aside from laundry. And making my bed with clean sheets. And a dash of ironing. And lots of chit chat online with people I know. Finding out some of them have updated their contact info and getting that down.

And...thinking. Trying to decide how to handle the Franz part of Blood Angel now that I know the direction it needs to go. Léonidès has been a fairly decent guy, for a vampire. Not bestial like his sister can be. And he keeps his troupe in line, so they aren't feeding on just anyone.

But I wonder if this new aspect needs to be brought forward, more. Or now. Have Léon deal with an instinct that surprises him when he's told No. And how that should be handled. Does he seduce Franz? Coerce him? Flat out rape him? Turn him to save him from an infection that is killing him? Get interrupted as he's feeding on him to kill him? I can see justifications for them all, so can't really decide.

The only thing I know for certain, right now, is Franz is not gay and deep within him is harbored a hate and cruelty that winds up being unleashed when he's turned. And Leon thinks maybe if he's with a woman as his lead instead of a gay man that he'll be better. I haven't figured out how that will develop, yet.

But at least I'm back to thinking about a story to write. A novella. And I think I'll keep posting these on GayDemon, to be read for free. That seemed to get people interested in my actual novels. I think.

I could also do a followup to The Beast, where Warren winds up working for a secret space-ship-stop that serves fuel and meals, in some area of the desert...or mountains. And he's tasked with bringing men to it to be on the menu. That could could become very black comedy...maybe.

Oh, decisions, decisions...