It's a battle...

Being creative, even as poor at it as I am, is a fight with myself. There's a part of me that knows what it wants to do with a story...but then I meet the characters and they start rearranging my entire plan. Which has worked well, for me...when I haven't fought back too hard or rushed things. 

For example, I pushed through Porno Manifesto without really understanding it and now have an idea of what the story should be about, and who the characters should be...17 years after I wrote it.

That was one of those occasions where I really wanted to let loose with my writing, and asked the characters to help me do it and all I got back is, Do it yourself. Show me you can. Like they didn't trust me...and now I think, Rightfully so. I wasn't ready to let it be free-wheeling and dangerous.

That's what I'm going through with Dyarvos and the Cannibal Queer. I am still not enamored with the current title because it screams of a more...I dunno...John Waters kind of narrative. Off the rails and without limits, but done in a way that lets you know it's a wink-wink tale, all just in wicked fun.

Rocky Horror Picture Show was camp to the max, and deliberately so. Which worked beautifully for Frank N. Furter v. Brad and Janet. Catch 22 was caught in a sort of satirical realism, which is also not what I'm after. I've tried to get into A Confederacy of Dunces to catch some absurdist flavor, but it just doesn't grab me.

Wag the Dog is closer to what I'm thinking, but still not exactly right. It's both middle-of-the-road and satirical of that creative level. Cabaret might be a good learning tool for this...with its mix of humor, horror, willful blindness and joyful ignorance of life's absurdities.

Maybe I'm aiming for something I don't have the ability to achieve, because I'm not getting a hell of a lot of help from Dirc or Dyarvos. No, I shouldn't say that. Dirc came up with the idea of choosing a particular build of man in order to make sure they had better marbling in the meat they offer.

And Dyarvos let me know him using a cookbook to try and build himself a helper needed to be more off the wall. Substituting ingredients, which he should not have done, may have been what brought Dirc back to life, but it's also made him a joyously amoral monster. One of those recipes where even fucking it up brings out a tasty treat.

So what can I do but stop whining and let the lads lead?