Overwhelming...

Funny thing happened as I tried to work on PvSH. I grew too angry to focus. Then depressed. The murder of Jonathan Joss in a town I lived in for decades has affected me in ways I'll need to work through before I can return to the story.

I kept telling myself to channel my anger into what happens with Simon, and I did manage to get a few pages done. Adding in the police getting a warrant to search Simon's apartment based on a complaint about a man who only vaguely resembles him. Seeking child sexual assault materials.

It happens after Simon is killed but before his body is discovered, which is not supposed to be found. But it is due to him having an AirTag in his backpack and his new attorney's phone in a pocket. They lead ReShawn, his attorney, to his grave.

ReShawn blames himself, thinking he should have taken Simon straight home. At least kept him at his house. And it's becoming clear the local media has been fed the story about the pedophilia investigation and is running with it. Like they are in the smearing of Joss' life. Making his murder his own fault.

It was at this point everything became overwhelming and I had to stop. I was close to losing it...or something. I don't know what. I just didn't....couldn't handle it. Which makes me wonder if I'd be able to handle the coming culture war between the MAGAt Class and the rest of us.

I don't know. I just know...have to acknowledge those people do not care who they hurt or how. And I'm afraid I would feel the same way about them. And if that happened, I feel I'd become as sub-human as them.

I think that would kill me.