Finally, another draft done...

The Vanishing of Owen Taylor is now 543 pages long. And the ending...it alternates between brutal and tender in ways I hope work. You never really know. I want to do one more pass through it to smooth out some things I added. Then I'm ready to get reactions.

I already have some people lined up. Sort-of strangers who will be honest. Members of GoodReads. People who've liked my writing in the past. All I can do is hand it out and see what triggers what.

It's rained all day, so that helped keep me in. I used the building laundromat to do some clothes, even though the dryer isn't all that great. I kept the loads light -- just what I had to have -- and that worked okay.

I'm reading a lovely book called This Is Not The End of the Book;, which is a conversation between Umberto Eco, Jean-Clude Carriere, and Jean-Philippe de Tonnac. Eco wrote The Name of the Rose; Carriere is a playwright and screenwriter; de Tonnac is a writer and editor. It's a discussion about the future of the book and knowledge, in general, and is fascinating to follow.

So far my favorite bit is a story told by Carriere about a man whose father was a book collector. The son was the only one in the family to see the value of the books, so when his father died, he told his brothers and sisters they could have the rest of the estate if they'd just let him keep the library. They happily agreed. So he took the books away...and sold them to book dealers throughout Europe. Apparently, he lived off that for years, and his siblings never knew the true value of those old books.

This comes in very handy for The Alice '65 and Adam's way of viewing the world. I guess that's getting close to being ready to write. Along with half a dozen other stories in my head.

I need to win the lottery so I can stop working and start treating my writing seriously.

Scorched Earth

That's the title of the chapter I've spent the last 2 days on, working and reworking and shifting and and rearranging and slamming my head against walls and floors and computer screens...but I think it's finally making sense and is not too scattered. I don't want the usual explanation bit, like when Hercule Poirot lays out all the clues and explains what they mean. Instead, I've got Jake junked up and out of control and referencing movie musicals and cult films as he lays it out. The reader will have to work a little, but it should be clear.

For example, in Cabaret there's a song, If You Could See Her Through My Eyes. So when Jake finally reveals he knows who the killer is, he does it by singing to the lead-in melody for that:

"I know what you're thinkiiiiiiiing.

You wonder why I chose youuuuuuu,

Out of all the suspects in Palm Spriiiiiiiiiiings.

It's 'cause I know you did it.

But how'd I know you did it?

'Cause the biggest fuckin' cluuuuuuuue,

Came the day that I met youuuuuu."

I may have made it too goofy; I don't know. I'm enjoying it, as is Jake. And there's a fun little twist on the end of the chapter that should keep things embroiled in suspense.

Looks like The Lyons' Den may be going out of print. The publisher's hinting they want to do it. Sales are way, way down. Not that it was ever a huge seller, but it was the first book I made money on. I suppose that means I could come out with a second edition, self-published...and with a better cover. I'll have to think about it. I've got this beastie to finish, first, and I'm so broke I'll have trouble getting it done. I may see if I can get someone else to publish OT.

For about five minutes it looked like I might be going to Jerusalem to pick up a book and hand-carry it back into the US, but I worked up the cost and seriously doubt the university it'd go to will go for that. They'd on the cheap-assed side and have already cut us out of one packing job because they thought we were too expensive. I used to get hurt by that, but the reality is half the time these twerps have no idea what they're doing, and when something goes wrong they wind up paying a lot more than they'd have paid us.

There have been occasions where book dealers thought we charged too much to transport books into and out of the UK so decided to carry them in their baggage on the plane. Which they can do and is cheaper. But then they stupidly do not declare the books at their actual value. I say stupidly because books going into the US and UK are duty and VAT free. So even if it's a $10,000 book,  no charge...so long as you properly declare it. If you don't, and your bag gets searched, and you're dumb enough to leave the actual price of the book in the book, and it doesn't match up to what you declared, they can seize it for mis-declaring it.

That actually happened to one dealer. He called us to see if we could help, but by that time all we could do was refer him to a lawyer who knew customs law. It took three months and thousands of dollars to get his books back, and now he's flagged; anytime  he comes into the US or UK, his luggage gets searched.

I was stupid enough to do that once, at Heritage -- mis-declare a book going into Italy to avoid paying VAT on it. The book was seized and cost us $5000 in fines and legal fees to get back. After that, you couldn't pay me to not do it right.

You see, what we do where I work is make sure crap like that doesn't happen. We insist the dealers give us proper documents and handle customs requirements (which keep shifting oh-so-slightly) and make sure they have all the paperwork needed to show the books was legally transported...especially if they require an Export License from the UK. It's extremely important, these days, when even major museums and universities are having items seized because they don't have the proper provenance for them. 

It ain't easy to keep this up, and it ain't cheap to do it right. It's very time-consuming. But we're too expensive.

Oh, well...

Sisyphus...

The closer I get to being done with The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, the more I have left to do...dammit...

Meltdown thanks to Russia...

I was working along on OT and inputting changes I'd made and streaming KCRW when this melody came on -- Evenings Near Moscow (AKA: Moscow Nights). And I stopped because it reminded me of a movie moment that meant something to me and I can't remember what it was. All I can catch in my fuzzed up brain is that it was black & white, either the end or near it, and it was made in the 60s...earlier rather than later. Maybe a war movie? Something set in Europe? Maybe a European film? I can't remember and it's driving me nuts.

I've done the Google thing and all the comes up is it's Russian, written in the early 50s, and was appropriated by The Mitchell Trio in 1961. It was a huge hit at the time. So maybe it was mood music for some film. But now I can't get the damned thing out of my head and can't remember where or when I first heard it being used...but I'm almost positive it was in a movie theater.

Whatever it was, it jolted something in my head and I think I'll be adding some bits to the story. Dammit. But it's necessary for Jake's through line. For his development as a person and to explain why he didn't move to California once he was exonerated.

I still managed to get some of OT done...well, a lot. I have about 230 pages left to input, but we're getting into the heavy-duty changes area so I expect to slow down. And I definitely need another pass through the story to smooth in the bits I'll be adding. My Tolstoy-like murder mystery...

Hmm...maybe I'm just Russian at heart.

Part One is undone...

I've input the changes in the 1st part of the story, and so far I've cut one page. I thought it;d be more, but I keep adding bits to illuminate aspects of what's happening and setting things up, so I guess I should be glad.

I'm still kind of sad because I had to get rid of this lovely character named Judge Leffick, who reminded Jake of a withered prune and hacked like he'd never drawn a clean breath of air in his life. He comes across as weak and weaselly, until the DA tries a sneaky one; then he's a lion. I'm going to try and put him in somewhere, if not this book then another, someplace. Don't know yet.

This section was the easiest to do because I've been over it more than any other part of what I've written. I've already done a fair bit of slicing and dicing and Osterizing, so it probably is good I was able to get a page gone. But I am back to thinking I need to do another full-fledged pass to maintain consistency.

Not that I'm anal or anything...I'm just scatterbrained...

Now an alpha?

Okay, I just completed a rewrite of OT using a hardcopy I'd printed out. And the ending definitely truncated itself. Maybe too much so. I still have to input the changes and do another pass, but I've got some people lined up to read it when I'm done, so...I'm getting it off. I doubt it'll really be where I want it, yet, but I need to know if I'm heading in the right direction.

The killer's still the same, but instead of having the big explanation of what happened, I broke it up over a couple of chapters and then a final face-off. It's rather anti-Agatha Christie and Perry Mason, but I prefer it...if it works. And if any of my followers want to read it, just let me know. The more feedback I have, the better.

I'm having no luck finding the right look for the cover. This is okay, but I do not want the guy representing Jake looking straight out. I want a back view with him looking over his shoulder...but I can't find anything that's right and the photographers I've reached out to either aren't interested or don't have anything that fits. So I've started trying to think up something else.

Suggestions are appreciated.

I'm sort of Centaurian...

Right now I have a nasty headache thanks mainly to my back and shoulders being so tight and snarly, but I just cropped out probably 25 pages of crap in OT for a clean, clear line to the killer. Didn't take much, just sitting in a chair for too damn long and ignoring the niggling cramps warning me about this. Now I'm going to pop a dozen Advil, clean the tub and sit in a hot bath for the rest of the year.

I also moved the location of the final explanation. There's some leading up to it, but it all has to be put together so it's easily explained, and Jake has to face some new realities about himself. It's not going to be pretty, but it is going to finally make sense.

And so, before I head into silence, allow me to offer the following observation:

Damned if it isn't true...

Eurovision winner

Sweden took this year's Eurovision competition...and justly. Doesn't hurt Måns Zelmerlöw is not only kind of cute (like a ferret) but also has a strong stage presence and powerhouse voice.

It is one of the best songs. Most of them are usually pretty generic. Yay, Sweden...

Am I a hawk?

As I work on The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, I feel like I'm circling around searching for something specific. Like a hawk circles looking for the stray field mouse or gopher or rabbit to have for din-din. And like that hawk, I won't know what it is till the damn thing moves and catches my attention.

This brings to mind the phrase “hawk’s eye,” meaning not only keeping a close watch on things but also having insight into what's happening. Or, like in my case, trying to sense the subtle meaning behind actions being taken by my characters.

And there are meanings...I know there are. I refer to Jake as a wolf throughout the story, as in lone wolf but also one of a pack and the sort of animal that mates for life. He's been disowned by his parents, so he's seeking to form a new pack. He's joined with Antony and brought Matt in. He senses his uncle was doing the same thing -- building a family to take the place of the one he'd lost. People who believed he was sinful and immoral, even as they committed much greater sins.

That brings to mind the hypocrisy of people like the Duggars, who hold themselves up as paragons of virtue while fighting gay rights...and hiding the fact that their oldest son is a pedophile. And the worst part is, they did everything they could to keep it hidden and him out of jail. No...actually the worst part is how the Duggar matriarch argued against a trans-gender non-discrimination bill in Fayetteville by painting gay men as the worst of the worst, while knowing full-well she'd helped her son avoid criminal penalties for raping a number of pre-adolescent girls.

Of course, hers isn't the only example of right-wing-religious hypocrisy. One preacher went so far as to tell a troubled gay teen he should commit suicide because he was going to hell, anyway, only to be caught seeking sex from men on Grindr, himself. It's all so damned ludicrous and soul-destroying, you have to back away from the news just to keep your sanity.

Of course, this is what Jake's going through, in the book. So I guess I'll keep circling to see if something grabs me and then dive down to grab it.

Hope it's a tasty morsel.

Halfway is better than no way...

I'm at the end of section 2, where Jake realizes his uncle has been murdered and he's deciding to find out by whom. A lot's been set up, and I can see it beginning to expand into a vague sort of chaos, so I'll be focused on focusing the story on Jake and his own turmoil. Sometimes I use lots and lots of action to hide the fact that I don't know what the hell is going on...and just hope it turns out for the best.

Having a printout of the story is helping. I can jump back and forth to make notes, which is pretty damned hard to do in Word. And there's something about actually seeing it on a page that makes me read with more care. Of course, it's also intimidating. The damn thing's over 500 typed pages and fills a 6" ring binder to the max. If I dropped it on my foot, I'd be crippled for life.

At the same time, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It becomes more real. On a computer, you're dealing with different shades of light that can vanish if the power is cut off. And you're limited to the screen you're looking at. Other pages deep in the memory of your computer are available, sure, but as I said...they're not as easy to access.

I think that's why books will always be with us, no matter what some people say. Electronics only work so long as there's a steady source of power, and if that's disrupted, how can you do anything in the way of reading or watching films or writing? You can read a book by candlelight; you can't read a tablet whose battery's run down. You can write with a pen or pencil and a piece of paper; you can't if your computer's not getting electricity.

A book is as perfectly developed as is a wheel, and is just as essential to life, really.