Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Madness grows...

I think I've fallen in love with Adam and Casey. This is a very weird yet typical place for me to be in. I wind up here with all my stories. All my characters, as I work with them. They become so real to me, sometimes, I can see everything they do and feel everything that touches them. And reaching the end of a script or story is like reaching the end of a marriage, almost.

When authors talk about the torture of writing, they ain't kiddin'. I've been through this so many times.

I think the hardest was when Bobby Carapisi reveals he's going to kill himself. When that happened, when I was first writing the first draft of the book, I couldn't face it for months. I actually shut down, because I didn't want to see it was where his whole story had been leading. He had to shame me into finishing, all but beg me, so he could be done. So when I finally agreed, I also agreed to make it hurt even more. Make it as honest and painful and necessary a decision as I could.

Now I hear from some readers it's too painful for them to face. And I think, I did right.

With Adam...what happened in this draft is he suddenly revealed just how much it hurts him to be used like he was. Not just by Casey, but by his co-workers. He's suddenly faced with what they really think of him -- nice enough, but not someone they want to know anywhere else but at the office. And not because he's a bad or obnoxious person. He's just not interesting to them. That is brutality defined.

What's good about that is Casey's reaction. And how it changes her. Suddenly, she became full of breath and blood to me, and it shifted earlier things she does in a way that should make her interesting, now. She's got an agenda not really revealed until the final confrontation. And I think it works. I hope it does. I've got three friends reading it now who, I hope, will give me honest feedback.

And so now, Casey and Adam are as real to me as anyone I've actually known in person. I should change my name to Daniel Bettancourt.

Hmm...does that make me scary, yet?

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