Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

I'm back to whining...

I've been in a nasty funk for the last few days. Headaches and eye strain and apathy and too goddamn much laziness mixed in to get anything more than the minimum done, each night after work. I don't know where it came from...but here it is. And I'm having a bitch of a time getting past it.

I was able to make myself color in some greens and browns on the frames for A65, and I did some pushing of my books on a couple of sites. I also sent a copy of A65 to Powell's Books, in Portland OR, to see if they'd stock it on their shelves. But nothing more. I sit at my laptop and grow despondent over the shit-show in Washington, thanks not only to the rabid GOP but Democrats who put politics over country.

William Barr's testimony before the Senate, today, is my breaking point. If he is not removed from being AG and that POS in the White House impeached, we are dead as a country...and I hold Pelosi and Schumer just as responsible as the criminals in the Republican Party for this, along with the media for not calling him out before it was too late.

But it's not just them. When an obviously evil man like Czar Snowflake has a 43% approval rating, at this late date, it means too goddamn many people in the US are just as fucked up and corrupt as him. No country can survive that. No democracy can. I think I'm seeing the end of America in my lifetime.

Maybe that's where my apathy comes from -- the understanding that a proven criminal who's looting the treasury for himself and his friends as he destroys everything great about us is still seen as doing something good. He's never done a goddamn thing for anybody but himself in his entire life, but they worship him. He's spawn of the devil but they treat him like God.

So maybe I do know where my funk came from. Maybe this is why I'm thinking, "Why bother?" It's the end of civilization and I'm spinning my wheels thinking my writing will be worth anything in the new Dark Age.

But then again...I have been able to wander past the bleakness and make a couple decisions. I'm taking August off from work and spending the month slamming through APoS. I was going to travel, but it's silly for me to do that when I still have so much to get done and am finally seeing a solid dent in my debt. Besides, I need some dental work done and to have a cyst that's giving me a little horn removed from the top of my head.

Hmm...or maybe I should keep it and pretend I'm a unicorn...

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