Creation is hard...

Like anyone ever thought it was easy. I can't think of a single artist who's worth a damn who believed creating their work was simple or straightforward. It's a fucking pain in the ass. Scary. Demanding. Capricious. You name it...if you want to do something worthwhile. And even if you don't.

I don't necessarily mean that everything created is worth the turmoil it causes. There's some shit out there that people worked their asses off to make that is garbage. I know I've slaved to make a couple scripts great that never got beyond the basic OK stage...if that good. And some of my artwork is ludicrously amateurish.

But then...I've never thought of myself as the next Van Gogh or Picasso. I tried to be like de Kooning...

...but couldn't get into the chaos he seemed to need to paint. Same for Jackson Pollack and, conversely, Mark Rothko.

I couldn't...or wouldn't...dig as deep into myself to bring out art, like they did. I don't think I had nearly as much talent. I do okay in a cartoonish way, but that's not the same thing.

I like Tom of Finland's drawings...especially his faces...but he's still more of a caricaturist than a fine artist, even though his work now hangs in museums. Of course, half the reason for that is his sociological meaning to the gay community...

...And I'm just rambling because I'm not happy with the feel of what I'm doing for A65's slide show. I'm not catching the feel of the book, as if I was trying to make every frame deep and meaningful and worthy of hanging on a wall.

Which I am. Which is why I'm unhappy. And why I'm whining about creating being a pain...

Creation is fucking hard...