What do I mean for Simon to be? Because Simon is coming from within me...and yet I don’t seem to know who he really is or why this story should matter.
- What do I want people to think about him?
- To feel about him?
- How should he see himself? Feel about himself?
- How do I find a way to make that fill the story without it being reticent in any way? With no wall between him and the reader?
That’s what this boils down to. I jumped into the story not knowing what it’s all about and just hoped it would reveal itself and come together like other books I’ve written have, but in doing so it’s become far more complex and confusing than I can figure out, at the moment.
The plotline is there, from beginning to end in a timeframe of six months. Maybe even shorter. I've thought of making it three months. I’m not sure yet. And that’s why I’m having such trouble...
Or is it? Could it just be me recognizing my attitude towards Simon and his life is too much on the flippant side? The writing method of I need this here and something to happen here...which is anything but organic to the story...and I don’t know why I’d think that.
It never was with Brendan, in A Place of Safety. That story had an historical setting that was important enough to get me past any confusion about it. Once I finally settled in and listened to it. Which only took 20 years to happen.
Well, I ain’t got 20 years to work on MQM. I need to have more than the spine to build the story onto. I need to know and understand Simon...and figure out how best to tell his story in a way that is beyond simple existence.
Is that what I’m after? An everyman caught in events out of his control? Something existential? Mixed with nihilism?
Nopne of which makes sense...not even to those of scrambled brain.
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