Brain death occurs

I spent the day doing laundry, groceries and paperwork...and am now caught up with stuff. My near headache finally pushed forth and made it hard to concentrate, at times...but I still pushed through.

Problem with this achy head is it makes me prone to the blues. I'm back to being down on my writing, so the next couple of days will be the wrong time to do a polish of BC-3. I'll hate everything and think I've screwed up the story and won't do a bit of positive work. So I printed up a copy of it (and already have a red notation on it for a new idea -- a better ending line...that still isn't perfect but is getting there) and that's the last I'll do for a few days. I need to sort out my mood.

I'd still like to get a first full draft of POS done by the end of the year...but I'll definitely have to be in a better frame of mind to do it. Extra problem is...my mother's back in the rehab center and will begin physical therapy in the coming week. But more than likely she won't be going back to her apartment and things will need to be moved out. If it can wait till the end of the year, I'll hop down for Christmas and ship my things up to me. It all depends on my sister and brother. But it's got me unsettled and unsure and unfocused (like I need any excuse for that) and I'm nervous about starting in on the story, again.

Of course, Brendan's attitude is, "So what?" Because I do think POS is going to take a good 2-3 years of rewriting to get to the point where I can even begin to get comfortable with what I'm doing....................and there we go. Blues lead to self-doubt leading to my usual "What the hell do I think I'm doing, here?" Damn, I'm predictable.

One serious positive -- I will soon have all of "Bobby Carapisi" done and out there. I've done my duty to the characters and let them lead me wherever they wanted, and that's the best I can do. Once it's in print, I'll be done.

At least, as much as I can be with one of my babies.