This is more of my short script.
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PENNY (O.S.)
(sleepy, Scottish Burr)
-- Yeah?
MATT
Penny, it -- it’s me. I -- I’m running a mite late.
PENNY (O.S.)
What’s wrong?
MATT
Some -- just some -- unfinished business. I’ll be home soon as I can.
PENNY (O.S.)
You all right?
MATT
No, I -- .
Caera tenses.
MATT (CONT’D)
I -- I lost a patient. A girl beat by her father.
-----------------------
Matt fights to keep his hands from shaking.
MATT
Perfect timing, this. Why’d you have to pick now? Why now?
CAERA
Not my choice.
MATT
What -- what happened?
CAERA
Does it matter?
MATT
Fine, I -- I’ll need bandages. My shirt -- in my rucsack. It’s clean enough. Tear it up.
Caera digs into the rucsack and finds the magnet-photo of Matt’s wife and baby, eyes it, sets it aside, pulls out his shirt and begins shredding it.
Matt tears a larger hole in Sean's pants to inspect the wound. Sean grimaces.
MATT (CONT’D)
What I’m about to do’ll hurt worse than that.
Sean nods.
MATT (CONT’D)
Ye could have anesthetic.
Sean shakes his head and readies himself.
MATT
Perfect timing, this. Why’d you have to pick now? Why now?
CAERA
Not my choice.
MATT
What -- what happened?
CAERA
Does it matter?
MATT
Fine, I -- I’ll need bandages. My shirt -- in my rucsack. It’s clean enough. Tear it up.
Caera digs into the rucsack and finds the magnet-photo of Matt’s wife and baby, eyes it, sets it aside, pulls out his shirt and begins shredding it.
Matt tears a larger hole in Sean's pants to inspect the wound. Sean grimaces.
MATT (CONT’D)
What I’m about to do’ll hurt worse than that.
Sean nods.
MATT (CONT’D)
Ye could have anesthetic.
Sean shakes his head and readies himself.
Matt dribbles whiskey into the wound.
MATT (CONT’D)
Give me a strip. Now!
Caera hands one to Matt. He uses it to soak blood and whiskey from the wound.
Sean cannot help but whimper in pain. Matt glances at him then holds up the torch.
MATT (CONT’D)
Your name’s Caera? I need you to hold this, so I can see.
She takes the torch and shines it on the wound.
Matt holds up the knife and looks at Sean.
Sean nods.
Matt hesitates then digs in for the bullet. Blood flows.
Sean fights to keep from screaming.
Caera watches.
Matt slowly...slowly works the bullet out.
Sean cries out then slumps back.
Caera jolts over.
CAERA
What happened!? Is he dead?! DID YOU KILL HIM? YOU KILLED HIM! YOU BRIT BASTARD!
She is ready to use the pistol!
Matt checks Sean.
MATT
No, no, no, it’s okay! It’s okay! He’s only unconscious, that’s all! Check for yourself!
She finally does. Sean is still breathing. She backs away, near tears and returns to shredding the rest of the shirt.
MATT (CONT’D)
Give me a strip. Now!
Caera hands one to Matt. He uses it to soak blood and whiskey from the wound.
Sean cannot help but whimper in pain. Matt glances at him then holds up the torch.
MATT (CONT’D)
Your name’s Caera? I need you to hold this, so I can see.
She takes the torch and shines it on the wound.
Matt holds up the knife and looks at Sean.
Sean nods.
Matt hesitates then digs in for the bullet. Blood flows.
Sean fights to keep from screaming.
Caera watches.
Matt slowly...slowly works the bullet out.
Sean cries out then slumps back.
Caera jolts over.
CAERA
What happened!? Is he dead?! DID YOU KILL HIM? YOU KILLED HIM! YOU BRIT BASTARD!
She is ready to use the pistol!
Matt checks Sean.
MATT
No, no, no, it’s okay! It’s okay! He’s only unconscious, that’s all! Check for yourself!
She finally does. Sean is still breathing. She backs away, near tears and returns to shredding the rest of the shirt.
Shaking, Matt takes the torch and dribbles whiskey in the wound, then packs in strips of his shirt to stem the blood. He wipes the bullet clean and checks it.
The bullet is steel jacketed. Small shards of the steel are obviously missing.
MATT (CONT’D)
There’s some fragmentation. He needs be x-rayed to determine -- .
CAERA
I told you -- !
MATT
The fragments could get into his bloodstream. Wind up in his heart. Kill him! Is that what you want?
CAERA
No -- no -- get them out.
MATT
How?! I haven’t the equipment or the expertise or -- .
CAERA
Then we -- we have to hope. Pray. See what happens.
MATT
He’ll die, that’s what’ll happen!
CAERA
If he dies, you die.
MATT
Are ye bloody mad?!
CAERA
How long before you know?
MATT
Och, this can’t be happening; this can’t be -- !
She bolts over and jams the pistol between his eyes. She is barely under control.
CAERA
HOW LONG?!
MATT
I -- I’ve no idea -- a few hours?
CAERA
Then -- we wait. And see.
MATT
But -- he -- he -- .
CAERA
Give -- me -- the knife.
Her thumb barely holds the hammer of the pistol back. Matt reluctantly hands her the knife. She backs away.
MATT
Can I -- can I at least ring me wife? She’ll worry -- .
Caera eyes him. A hint of confusion.
CAERA
There’s no phone.
Matt carefully pulls out his mobile. She hesitates -- then nods and presses the pistol against his temple.
CAERA (CONT’D)
You say one word -- .
He hits auto-dial. It RINGS. He grips the magnet-photo. Caera gets close to listen. He fights to keep control.
The bullet is steel jacketed. Small shards of the steel are obviously missing.
MATT (CONT’D)
There’s some fragmentation. He needs be x-rayed to determine -- .
CAERA
I told you -- !
MATT
The fragments could get into his bloodstream. Wind up in his heart. Kill him! Is that what you want?
CAERA
No -- no -- get them out.
MATT
How?! I haven’t the equipment or the expertise or -- .
CAERA
Then we -- we have to hope. Pray. See what happens.
MATT
He’ll die, that’s what’ll happen!
CAERA
If he dies, you die.
MATT
Are ye bloody mad?!
CAERA
How long before you know?
MATT
Och, this can’t be happening; this can’t be -- !
She bolts over and jams the pistol between his eyes. She is barely under control.
CAERA
HOW LONG?!
MATT
I -- I’ve no idea -- a few hours?
CAERA
Then -- we wait. And see.
MATT
But -- he -- he -- .
CAERA
Give -- me -- the knife.
Her thumb barely holds the hammer of the pistol back. Matt reluctantly hands her the knife. She backs away.
MATT
Can I -- can I at least ring me wife? She’ll worry -- .
Caera eyes him. A hint of confusion.
CAERA
There’s no phone.
Matt carefully pulls out his mobile. She hesitates -- then nods and presses the pistol against his temple.
CAERA (CONT’D)
You say one word -- .
He hits auto-dial. It RINGS. He grips the magnet-photo. Caera gets close to listen. He fights to keep control.
PENNY (O.S.)
(sleepy, Scottish Burr)
-- Yeah?
MATT
Penny, it -- it’s me. I -- I’m running a mite late.
PENNY (O.S.)
What’s wrong?
MATT
Some -- just some -- unfinished business. I’ll be home soon as I can.
PENNY (O.S.)
You all right?
MATT
No, I -- .
Caera tenses.
MATT (CONT’D)
I -- I lost a patient. A girl beat by her father.
Caera casts Matt a sharp glance.
MATT (CONT’D)
I -- I can't do this...
PENNY (O.S.)
-- We'll talk about it when you're home. Okay? Matty -- I love you. Oh, did you get milk -- ?
MATT
I did. Will. Aye. Love you, too. Good-bye.
PENNY (O.S.)
Bye.
He slowly closes the phone.
PENNY (O.S.)
-- We'll talk about it when you're home. Okay? Matty -- I love you. Oh, did you get milk -- ?
MATT
I did. Will. Aye. Love you, too. Good-bye.
PENNY (O.S.)
Bye.
He slowly closes the phone.
4 comments:
I like it. Is it derivative? Well, maybe so far. The characters and the plot seem a little too familiar but it's still very well written and suspenseful. I'm sure if you continued it, you'd introduce more unique elements. You should definitely enter it into that contest.
I'm writing a short screenplay for a class right now and I already have ideas for others I'd like to write after it. I used to write them when I was a kid and I forgot how much more comfortable I am with this format. It's so much easier to revise/edit so I don't over think it like I would with traditional writing.
I'm so glad you're writing! I'd like to read your script when you're done, if you're open to that.
I admire your talents so much that I'm honestly terrified at the prospect of letting you read anything I write until I've come up with something I'm really satisfied with. The screenplay for the class is kind of a rush job because I have to make deadlines for each act but if the final draft comes together really well I'll let you read it if you promise to keep expectations very low.
It's a thriller involving a naive prison security guard dealing with a lunatic in-mate and bitch wife that is turning into much more of dark DARK comedy than I initially expected.
Sounds cool. I promise not to freak on you. ;)
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