I just realized I have all of the scripts I've written, printed out and tucked away in file boxes. Some of them I have more than one version, even. I tell myself I keep them to remind myself of how far I've come as a writer, but I wonder if it isn't just a tad narcissistic of me. Or maybe a way of verifying that I've actually been working at this for so damn long and built up so much proof, I can't move house in just my car, anymore; I need a Ryder truck.
Some of my early work is good -- a few shorts I wrote turned out well (including a couple that were shot at UT by directing students), and the initial ideas behind Darian's Point, my first full-length script, were so solid, the basic script stayed the same -- but a lot of it shows me casting around trying to find my voice...and hiding it, to be honest.
I was trying the commercial thing, like crazy, and getting nowhere. I wrote action-suspense scripts meant to be funded in Texas and got nothing...except a good punch in the face by reality when one actually did get shot, and totally destroyed. Then the director blamed my script for his lack of ability. Of course, he never got it sold, but that wasn't because he'd turned it into a racist piece of crap; no, it's because it was "too gay."
That's when I decided if I was going to get fucked like that, I was gonna get fucked in LA. Which took the fucking to a whole new level. "Change this for no money and maybe we'll think of buying it" kind of crap, a lot. Hell, I'd get so much casual criticism, I wound up building a solid little wall of ego to keep from being destroyed by it. I like to think I'm so good, no one can see it...but that's even more narcissism.
There are a number of things that I truly love about writing a book -- exploring a character in depth, no restraint on imagination or budget, total control of the plot (so long as you let the characters determine it), and the sense of accomplishment in holding your published work in your hands.
Maybe I've fallen in love with my words...but I'm truly proud of parts of HTRASG, RIHC6, BC, and LD. Now I cling to that to keep me from sliding into apathy, knowing I can write and do so with honesty and courage.
Bu it's not the same as a movie...
Some of my early work is good -- a few shorts I wrote turned out well (including a couple that were shot at UT by directing students), and the initial ideas behind Darian's Point, my first full-length script, were so solid, the basic script stayed the same -- but a lot of it shows me casting around trying to find my voice...and hiding it, to be honest.
I was trying the commercial thing, like crazy, and getting nowhere. I wrote action-suspense scripts meant to be funded in Texas and got nothing...except a good punch in the face by reality when one actually did get shot, and totally destroyed. Then the director blamed my script for his lack of ability. Of course, he never got it sold, but that wasn't because he'd turned it into a racist piece of crap; no, it's because it was "too gay."
That's when I decided if I was going to get fucked like that, I was gonna get fucked in LA. Which took the fucking to a whole new level. "Change this for no money and maybe we'll think of buying it" kind of crap, a lot. Hell, I'd get so much casual criticism, I wound up building a solid little wall of ego to keep from being destroyed by it. I like to think I'm so good, no one can see it...but that's even more narcissism.
There are a number of things that I truly love about writing a book -- exploring a character in depth, no restraint on imagination or budget, total control of the plot (so long as you let the characters determine it), and the sense of accomplishment in holding your published work in your hands.
Maybe I've fallen in love with my words...but I'm truly proud of parts of HTRASG, RIHC6, BC, and LD. Now I cling to that to keep me from sliding into apathy, knowing I can write and do so with honesty and courage.
Bu it's not the same as a movie...
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