I've been going through the feedback on The Vanishing Of Owen Taylor that I've received, so far, and it's not so bad. Consensus seems to be the opening chapters are too packed with detail so are confusing. Which I can see. I'm trying to provide information enough about Rape In Holding Cell 6 so this one will stand better on its own, but I may have gotten carried away on that. I'm going to try cutting the first 4 sections down to 2 and sprinkling the info throughout the rest of the story and see if that works.
I'm also considering cutting one semi-important character's plot. It adds a bit of depth to everything that's going on, but it may also be adding too much confusion. We'll have to see if that actually happens. Normally when my characters are set, they stay set no matter what I do.
As for the revelation of what happened...that could be better explained. And sometimes Jake winds up preaching instead of telling the story, something that is really unnecessary. I got one "dropped jaw" over who the killer is and one "Change nothing." All good stuff, so far. The only thing I've taken issue with is one suggestion I capitalize the word god. I don't do that so will ignore it.
Of course I have the usual missing words and typos sprinkled throughout, and will adjust those as I can. I think they're getting worse in my old age. Seems like I can't make it through a sentence without having to correct a mistake.
I'm currently in Phoenix en route to a two-day job in San Francisco and have another hour before my next flight. It's not a very comfortable airport, but it's not the worst I've been in. I make reference to it in Bobby Carapisi, when Eric's coming back from doing research in Texas and Pavel boards for the second leg of his journey back to LA. It's the quiet beginning of a new journey for them.
I'm still very proud of BC. I'm proud of all my work, but with that one...it's the first one where I had to make myself write things I fought having to write...because they hurt. But they were necessary. So I found I can do it when I let myself. Or make myself.
Yeah, like there's a difference between letting myself and making myself...
I'm also considering cutting one semi-important character's plot. It adds a bit of depth to everything that's going on, but it may also be adding too much confusion. We'll have to see if that actually happens. Normally when my characters are set, they stay set no matter what I do.
As for the revelation of what happened...that could be better explained. And sometimes Jake winds up preaching instead of telling the story, something that is really unnecessary. I got one "dropped jaw" over who the killer is and one "Change nothing." All good stuff, so far. The only thing I've taken issue with is one suggestion I capitalize the word god. I don't do that so will ignore it.
Of course I have the usual missing words and typos sprinkled throughout, and will adjust those as I can. I think they're getting worse in my old age. Seems like I can't make it through a sentence without having to correct a mistake.
I'm currently in Phoenix en route to a two-day job in San Francisco and have another hour before my next flight. It's not a very comfortable airport, but it's not the worst I've been in. I make reference to it in Bobby Carapisi, when Eric's coming back from doing research in Texas and Pavel boards for the second leg of his journey back to LA. It's the quiet beginning of a new journey for them.
I'm still very proud of BC. I'm proud of all my work, but with that one...it's the first one where I had to make myself write things I fought having to write...because they hurt. But they were necessary. So I found I can do it when I let myself. Or make myself.
Yeah, like there's a difference between letting myself and making myself...
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