My scripts are good. Jake and Tone are now out in the world and being seen. I've tried to get started back on what I thought would be a dangerous book about a man who needs redemption but doesn't want it. But I've realized it's a stall. It's me giving into fear. And self-doubt. Hell, brutal self-criticism before I've even really begun. Using a book that's borderline silly to avoid what I really need to face.
I am finishing Place of Safety, next. I am writing a full and complete draft of it before I go into anything else. Period. I swear to myself I will not be sidetracked...or let myself back down. Brendan whispers to me, again, and has shown me the ending of the book. He's waiting for me to prove I have some kind of strength left in me to take this through to the end.
I've been a coward for too long about this book. Fearful I wasn't up to writing it even though it's a story I've been chosen to tell, and even though I accepted the obligation to tell it. And here I've been trying to weasel out of it ever since.
Well fuck that. The world is on the verge of chaos. Civilization is beginning to collapse, just like it did in the 6th Century. It may take a thousand years to rebuild; it may take ten days. I don't know. All I do know is, I tell the story now or it doesn't get told.
And that is unacceptable.
I've been a coward for too long about this book. Fearful I wasn't up to writing it even though it's a story I've been chosen to tell, and even though I accepted the obligation to tell it. And here I've been trying to weasel out of it ever since.
Well fuck that. The world is on the verge of chaos. Civilization is beginning to collapse, just like it did in the 6th Century. It may take a thousand years to rebuild; it may take ten days. I don't know. All I do know is, I tell the story now or it doesn't get told.
And that is unacceptable.
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