Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Paranoid writer comes to the fore...

The person editing The Alice '65 for me said she'd send it back on December 15th, but I got nothing and now I can't get hold of her. No answer to my emails. Naturally, in my limited brain, this means she hates it and is having to force herself to read it or else will soon come up with some excuse that she can't do it, after all. Even though I'm telling myself it's Christmas and she's got a family and everything's crazed prior to it...I've come to the conclusion her silence means the story's a disaster.

It's the writer in me. I do other things weird, as well...like when I went down to check my mail. As usual, the hallway was empty and suddenly I half wondered if I was in the Overlook Hotel...and half expected to round a corner for the elevator and find twin girls saying "Hello, Kyle. Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Kyle. Forever... and ever... and ever." Very psychotic, I know, but so are some of my characters.

For example, Devlin Pope in Underground Guy. He's proving to me that he is completely insane...but is smart enough to say, "I know I'm nuts, but by telling people I am, they think I'm not. Even when I prove it." I know that came out of me, so it makes me wonder if I'm doing the same thing -- telling people I'm crazy but don't really think I am; I just don't want them to know I think I'm not, even though I probably really am.

How did I come to this conclusion? Because Devlin keeps proving he's an animal with no concept of the feelings or concerns of others except for Colin, his brother. His blood. He's horrified by what he did to Reg...at least, I thought he was. But when Reg shows up at his hotel room, Devlin uses the guy's confusion and pain to try and work him into bed. And I'm going WTF?!?!? I actually had to stop working on the story at that point and reground myself.

I did it by watching Kurosawa's High and Low, again -- an amazing kidnapping move that is filled with character details like a Russian novel. It's based on an Ed McBain novel, King's Ransom, which I read years before seeing the movie, and it was a good mystery book. Kurosawa's film is about how some people maintain their humanity, even to the point of near self-destruction, while others only offer the idea of it, even as they descend into evil.

 None of which was in the book...and something that helps me better understand where I'm going with UG -- straight to hell.

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