Not even In-n-Out worked...

It's pretty sad when you're in such a down mood not even a #2 cheeseburger meal, animal style, at In-n-Out can cheer you up. I mean, it was tasty and done just right and I enjoyed it while I ate it, but I'm really too emotionally and physically exhausted for it to work. Hell...for ANYthing to work.

Did my bankruptcy zoom meeting, this morning...and I was fourth in line after two women forced into bankruptcy by nasty divorces and a stoner dude who had trouble focusing. And I feel like such a fucking loser.

I got into this shit partly by trying to publicize A Place of Safety-Derry and getting nowhere with it, and from money I'd send my brother in San Antonio to pay for his rent and some running money, and car repairs, and research for APoS and groceries...and on and on.

Before Covid hit, I was closing in on paying off everything. Did all my back-taxes owed. Cleared one credit card, completely. Had my savings growing to $32,000. Then I lost 40% of my income, and that's despite getting unemployment for that period and the stimulus check. Credit cards were maintained because I still paid more than the minimum amount, but the balances continued to increase.

And now that Beast is in the White House wanting to kill Social Security and cut Medicare with everyone rallying around to help him do it...I had to do something to end the spiral I was caught in. I mean, this was going to happen sooner or later, so better to do it now than have to do it in a year.

It's affecting me in ways I don't like...like in writing The Beast Dines Out. I let Dirc specifically target a MAGAt...and made him dirty. Unclean. Dirc had to wash him before he could do anything, like a raccoon washes its meals. And there's going to be more like this, because I am having too damn much fun with it.

Maybe I'm the Beast...FEED ME!