I haven't been owned by a cat since 1989, when I finally understood my life was too messy for me to be fair with an animal. It's the story of my family. My mother had three dogs, all of which got hit and killed by cars because she couldn't control them while on walks. And a sister had two dogs who fought over who was the alpha...until one killed the other.
I had a black and white feral kitten choose me as its servant, when I lived in Houston. I named him Edge, because he was edgy with everyone but me. Cleaned him. Fed him. Took care of him. Sometimes it seemed he would look at me in a way as to let me know he was happy.
But then I moved to a duplex and he hated it. He had his area and I'd removed him from it. And when I moved, again, to by the Galleria, he had enough of me and refused to let me anywhere near him. I could feed him and make sure he had water, but no more petting. His Majesty was sore displeased.
When I was moving to LA, I contacted some people who lived in the building where I'd found him and they were willing to take him in, so I tried for days to get him to come to me. But he wouldn't. And finally I had to go. And he came to watch me pack my car. And even though I offered him tuna and chicken, he just sat a hundred feet away from me, watching. Until finally I had to go.
I've refused to have an animal, since. Friends have had cats and I've loved playing with them. Ferrets. Horses. Even the office I was working in here in Buffalo had a couple of Birmans who were quite royal and tolerated me, especially when I put a heating pad in a box on my desk. But they were someone else's, and it felt better that way.
There are people in my building who have small dogs, and when see them I pet them, but that's it. If you can't be there 100% for the animal, you shouldn't have one. It's like having a child.
You have to be fair to it...and I can't be.
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