Gots the blues in Chi-town

I'm trying to get home, but somebody up there don't want me to. I got to the Milwaukee airport early because I knew it'd be a madhouse and all I needed to do was print up my boarding pass since my plane was still scheduled to leave...but at 1:30 pm the airport was still closed because of water on the runways. So I hopped a bus to Ohare in Chi-town for a tedious drive down a very non-descript freeway, got here by 4pm, tried to do standby to get an earlier flight to Buffalo...and got shot down. No biggie; I'm still booked on my flight at 9:32 and I can go online and do some things...and now I can do even more because it's RAINING in Chicago and my flight's been bumped an hour.

So...I'm stuck in Terminal 1 at Ohare, one of the world's biggest and busiest airports. But is there anyplace decent to get anything to eat? I've had enough of McDonald's and burgers and crap. But the best place is a Chili's in the B Terminal of terminal 1. No problem, it's not far from where my plane's set to take off, so I have a burger and fries and a beer...and find my gate's been changed to C terminal.

So I head the half mile underground tunnel connection B&C along moving walkways, my suitcase rolling behind me -- and this underground walkway has colored neon lights dancing up and down the ceiling, some of them looking like lightning when you see their reflections in the floor; it's all so Vegas, I thought I'd wandered into Caesar's Palace -- and find my plane's now 1 1/2 hours behind.

So now I won't get home till nearly 2am. And I'm tired. My brain is shattered. I feel like I've never taken a bath. I just want my bed and a glass of cold milk. Is that the whine of an old man or what?

I think next time I go anywhere I'll take the train.

UPDATE: United does not inform you as to gate changes; it's up to you to keep track of them, apparently. My gate was changed to C-11. I'm sitting there working on my laptop...and suddenly they're announcing the plane for Philadelphia at C-11 is delayed until 11:15. That's my new departure time. So I ask and I'm told I've been changed to C-9. I mention there was no announcement. I'm told, "It's up to you to keep track of your assigned gate." So I go to C-9...sit down, open my laptop, and people headed for Seattle come storming in. My flight is now at C-10. And it may change again...and there's a possibility I won't make it to Buffalo at all tonight since apparently they have a no-fly time.

I fucking HATE United.