A Place of Safety - Derry / New World For Old / Home Not Home

A Place of Safety - Derry / New World For Old / Home Not Home
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Wednesday, January 14, 2026

New Question on Dylan...

Which is...how far am I willing to go with the story? I was going to make a straightforward (no pun intended) story about kidnapping a straight guy who gets off on being forced to enjoy himself with another man. A big gay fantasy...especially if he looks lilke Thor or Captain America from the Marvel Universe.

But then came the possibility it's a double-cross. That Vance really wants Rett and gets Dylan to help get him. Which was so trite it made me cringe.

Until...my tendency towards sexual slavery of a more romantic sort came floating up, without the romanticism. Maybe Dylan and Rett, both, are the targets of a wealthy man who wants to train them to be obedient to him and with each other.

Meaning whips and chains and restraints and even implants to maintain control of them. Pain therapy.

I did a hint of that in Hunter but never really detailed it till a completely innocent guy named Tony Hunter had kidnapped and sold confronted him with how he had been trained and controlled. Hunter feels guilt and helps return him to his life.

This time? No outs. No romance. No decency. Total master/slave and forced pleasure involved, with no HEA...as of now. That could change. Or could be even darker.

I never know where my mind is going to go, from one day to the next.

More of Dylan...

Lots of back and forth with no resolutions, today, so here's some more of Vance. and Rett, in Dylan.

-------

Now Vance had been over to my condo a few times, since I bought it, and loved to make a big deal about how spacious it was. Even marking off the sizes of the rooms with his feet.

“I’m a size ten,” he’d told me, once, “so eighteen of my feet equals fifteen actual.”

“I prefer a tape measure,” I laughed. 

He was helping me get ready for a party for some other writers I knew, and actors and crew and such. I threw them as a way to make and maintain connections, network, that sort of thing. And that had worked out. Got me my first mainstream paying gig. The rest had fed off that bit of luck. 

“Just a note to settle my brain.” 

I didn’t care. He was good at parties, so having him as a guest helped get things rolling. He could talk about film, history, literature, porn, gossip in the political world...though no actual politics. 

“Too many land mines for that shite,” he’d said when asked. 

And on more than one occasion he’d snuck off with some good-looker...either male or female. 

Funny thing is, after his first attempt he never came on to me, again. And that’s even after I noticed he was very Catholic in his tastes for companionship. I didn’t care. He wasn’t my type, at all. I go for guys who populate the main heroes of the Marvel Universe. Cap. Thor. Even Loki, once I saw him dance to Rasputin. Vance was too ghostly for that. 

I didn’t have a steady guy, right then. I’d broken up with wannabe superstar Craig six months before buying the condo. He’d felt the need to focus on high-profile females to further his career path, and I’d grown tired of his preening...even though it was justified. 

I’d hooked up with a couple other writers and another actor who was so paranoid he killed all the fun of the night. But overall I liked being alone in my place and felt no need for companionship.

I let Ben and Liam join my parties once they turned eighteen, and while Ben is on the young side for me, I did indulge him in his one birthday wish. 

“Blow me,” he’d said. “Pull off my shit and suck me dry.” 

“Wow...I never thought you’d ask me that," I said. "And don’t tell me Georgie did it; I don’t want to know.” 

He’d given me a lovely sneaky grin and said, “There’s lots you don’t wanna know.” 

We were in the living room, at the time, just him, me...and Liam, whom I looked at, a bit taken aback. 

He almost smirked, in response, and said, “We just give each other hand jobs. Georgie’d watch and...” 

“I said I don’t want to hear it. You were both underage...” 

“You put a pedophile in office and...” 

“I didn’t vote for him.” 

“Georgie did,” said Ben. “Liked his tax breaks.” 

I started to get miffed so rose to my feet and said, “Georgie was a dumbass backstabbing son-of-a-bitch.” 

They both laughed. “No shit.” 

Then Liam got up and came up to me and kissed me, long and deep and far more gentle than I’d thought possible. After which he murmured, “My birthday was last month and I’d love the same present. Belated.” 

Belated? He knew how to use that word? I’d been thinking these two were on the lower end of intelligence, but now felt I better re-evaluate. Then he winked at me, gave Ben the thumbs up and left.

Ben was wearing a neat button-up shirt that fit loose around his neat torso and cargo shorts with a precise hem. His feet were in deck shoes, for a change, which seemed to enhance the lovely form of his legs. He scooted deeper into his chair, scrunching his shorts tighter around his crotch so I could see the outline of everything. 

“It’s a birthday wish,” he chuckled. “Gotta honor it.”

Monday, January 12, 2026

I decided to work more on Dylan...dealing with Vance, a friend of Rett's who's on the skeezy side but has all kinds of connections.

--------

Vance was an anomaly. Long, lean and always in casual designer things that kept him almost completely dressed from head to toe so you couldn’t really make out what he looked like. Aside from his face, which was sharp and intelligent, even when half-hidden by a thousand-dollar hoodie or specialty cap. 

He was always striking to look at when you first saw him, but to this day I don’t know his age or even the color of his hair. It’s like he wanted to be well-seen and invisible. 

We’d met years ago on a no-budget project being mangled from my less-than-stellar script about a serial killer on the loose. Yeah, real original. But it had lots or pretty girls and obnoxious boys being slaughtered, so it got made and used as midnight filler on a cable network that shall remain unnamed. 

He was second camera for a couple of slaughter scenes, and he made no secret about his interest in me, while I made no secret of my disinterest in him. Especially after I noticed how he really got off on one bit where a wannabe James Dean was strangled in a shower. Totally naked, of course. 

I’d written it for a female but Vance’d suggested the sex change and the director, who was a long-term buddy hadn’t cared. The guy they chose as the victim was pretty hot-looking, and he thought it might be his big break so went right along with it all. 

The killer was one of those big, buff, butch, biker boys in a balaclava who stripped down to a black jockstrap to do the deed...which was NOT in the script. Then he got a serious hardon doing it while the victim struggled...tight against him...water pounding down on them both in a way that was so fucking homo-erotic, I found my breath going shallow. Kept up until he passed out. 

Literally. 

Sent the set into shock mode. He came back quickly, but had serious bruises around his neck. Meaning he’d really been strangled. Big, buff, butch, biker boy was lectured about safety as the kid was tended to...and paid extra for nearly being killed. And the scene stayed in thanks to how realistic it was...and despite there being some serious views of the kid’s dick as it flopped around.

Last I heard, that scene had nearly twelve-million views on YouTube.

Funny part is, the kid went on to be big in a sitcom, and whenever he was asked about that scene he’d respond with a shrug and, “I did what I agreed to do. I keep my promises. End of story.” Which shot his reputation up into the clouds. 

And I'm sure the fact that his dick was seriously impressive had nothing to do with it, oh, no. 

Now just between you, me, and the rest of the world, I’m ninety-nine percent certain Vance arranged for that near death experience for the kid. I caught a glimpse of him talking with the big, buff, butch, biker boy after the uproar had settled, as he was pulling his clothes back on, and patted him on his naked ass without so much as a flinch, in response. And I’d swear a couple of fifties were stashed under one of the jock’s straps.

Of course, Vance never admitted to it, nor did I see any clips anywhere of any other footage that was shot that might have been more explicit. But maybe he hadn't done it. While he seemed the type who’d love to sneak shit past everyone, in this business there’s no such thing as dick shots flying under the radar. But I’d also heard he asked to be second camera after he read the script. Which only added to my wary sense of him. 

So did I ghost Vance? Hell, no. He had connections out the ass. I’d just kept contact to a a minimum and wound up with two more rewrite jobs and my second script sale, thanks to him.

Sunday, January 11, 2026

Ups and downs

So many shifts and redirections regarding my brother's illness, it's been difficult to keep up. Right now, we're trying to find him a situation in a Skilled Nursing Facility, but many won't take the insurance he has and even though he's eligible for Medicaid they're refusing to assist him. That...is being appealed.

I haven't been able to focus much on any of the stories I plan to write, during this situation. But if we can ensconce him in an SNF this week, I can return home and get to work by this weekend.

Dylan has taken on a twisty-turny life of its own, already, and I was able to write another 2200 words. Introducing Vance, Ben and Liam...all of whom figure into what happens with Dylan. It's not really very good, yet, but does manage to set the stage.

I spent last night in my brother's hospital room, and tonight is my sister. If he's kept till Tuesday, I'll be on the hook for tomorrow night. We've been alternating like this since I came back down.

It's not fun because it's hard to get any sleep, but the hospital has killer wifi and I'm able to stream murder mysteries off Acorn. Got season 25 of Midsomer Murders and ten episodes of season 4 of My Life is Murder.

Kept my mind off the fact that getting cremated and buried in this day and age will cost just over $10,000. And that's the K-Mart Special version. If he was to be buried, that would add over $8,000 to the cost. Jesus, I'm going to talk with someone at a funeral home in Buffalo and start planning and paying for my cremation and hand over to The Neptune Society, it that's still an option.

Pay off my non-funeral in installments.

Friday, January 9, 2026

AI Art

AI is here to stay, whether we like it or not, and I am not completely unhappy about it. I won't use it to write, though I know some who have. And what comes out is...okay enough, but obviously not top level construction.

However, knowing the reading public's demands, they won't care. I've read books that were much praised which I felt were pieces of shit, written. by real people, and they were best-sellers.

But when it comes to art, I have to admit one of the joys of AI is you can envision any kind of person or situation you want, and it will work that up in a visual. Without hurting anyone or causing undue distress.

I still prefer real artwork to fake, but sometimes you just want a quickie to get you through a rough patch...like I'm going through, now.

Could these be any more fun?

It helps in tough times to have access to something wicked that couldn't be construed as illegal.

Just...just moments of beauty and grace...from those whose art I have admired, for a long time...

Thursday, January 8, 2026

A bit more...

In San Antonio for who knows how long, so here's a bit more of Dylan...and of PickedAPeck's artwork:

--------

Of course, I was standing there, gazing after him with my mouth open, like an idiot, when another sk8er rolled up to say, “Don’t pay attention to dick, there.” 

I jolted and looked around at a kid well under the legal age, and blinked. He had a fine-looking face on a nice tight body under a loose t-shirt and lovely legs half-hidden by cargo shorts. And, of course, Converse high-tops. 

“That his name?” I asked. 

“Naw, he’s Dylan. We just call him dick because he acts like he owns the whole fuckin’ boardwalk.” 

Another kid, a bit older but not by much, but leaner and with a more angelic aura about him, rolled up, grinning at the first kid. “He got Dylan’d?” 

First one nodded. “First time’s always the best.” 

“Where you from?” asked the second kid. 

Now while both were on the cute side, they were too young for me. So I shifted into polite mode and said, “California. I was born and raised in Laguna Beach.” 

“Shit. Native. Ain’t many of you around.” 

“Yeah. You kids around here, much?” 

Both gave me wary shrugs, so I smiled and added, “I’m thinking of buying a condo in that building.” I pointed to a long, low, white beast with solarized windows and fake tile along the roof. 

They looked at it and their expressions softened. “Georgie’s place,” whispered from one of them. 

“You knew the guy who lived there?” I asked. 

They both gave that knowing look that means far too much. 

“It’s nice inside.” 

“Lots of space,” said the other. 

“Good insulation.” 

“Always cool in summer and warm in winter.” 

“Georgie was nice.” 

Meaning, to us...and enough said about that. 

“But you’ll have to deal with Dylan,” said number one. 

“Does he cause problems?” I asked, actually getting to be intrigued. 

“Naw, he just owns this area,” said number two. 

“Don’t say it; just acts it.” 

“You gotta stay outta his way.” 

“But he’s only down here three-four days a week.” 

“Including weekends.” 

“And just for a couple hours in the afternoon.” 

“When the sun’s still high.” 

“Shows him off at his best.” 

“He thinks.” 

Then they gave me that knowing look, again, and number two asked, “So what’d you think of him?” 

I’d decided in high school I would never lie about who or what I was, so I snarled in the direction Dylan had gone, “He’s exactly what I’d like to fuck.”

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

New story...

Started work on this new bit of mm/non-con erotica and am already having fun with it. Calling it Dylan, right now. But that may change. (Artwork is by pickedapeck, whose work I've long admired...and is mainly NSFW.)

---------

Is it just me who gets bent out of shape about thirty-odd year-old men running around on skateboards like they’re still fifteen? Shirts off and tucked into cut-offs or belted cargo shorts that are rolled up to just below the knee. Beat-up Converse sneakers with a flumpy bit of sock showing. Scooting along the boardwalk like they own it and don’t have a care in the world? 

I got nothing against sk8er boiz. Some are pretty damn cute. Especially when they’ve got well-formed legs, back and ass, and a cap on backwards to hold their hair out of their face. My favorites are those with full pecs, trim belly and hair glinting in the sun as they race past. I’ve had a few of them. Guys who got nothing against doing it with whoever. 

But those were college-age, maybe mid-twenties, when the skateboard world was already beginning to recede from their focus...like it had, for me. They’d be out hitting the parks to just keep up their skills, show the younger guys some tricks, even help the kids who just starting out. Them, I appreciated. 

Guys past thirty? 

Like Dylan? 

Fucking Dylan. 

Perfect fucking Dylan. 

Who I know for a fact is thirty-two, even though he looks ten years younger. And has one of those bodies that looks like it was formed by AI. And clean, crisp features under a steady bit of scruff. Deep brown hair where it counts. Legs to die for. An ass from heaven. Still scooting along the boardwalk like he’s a kid. 

And ignoring me. 

Fucking ignoring me! 

Sk8er boiz don’t ignore me, I don’t give a fuck who they are. I’m Rett, short for Garrett. Just hit thirty-four, and look it. Which I don’t mind because I’ve got those Irish good-looks that make it work for me. Dark hair slightly sun-bleached. Taut body and legs from running and using the monkey-bars on the beach. A guy who’s always good for a chat and honest feedback on your form...and, as mentioned, maybe a one-on-one party in his condo overlooking the ocean...if you’re cute enough...and old enough. 

And if a little cash changes hands? It’s no big deal. 

I’m pretty well-off, even for LA. Sold a couple screenplays and done some rewrites, and stayed smart with my money. I have a couple projects in the works and have potential deals for more. 

As for Dylan, he models underwear. Which makes sense, considering his buff beauty, perfect ass and a basket filled to the brim. Done it for all the big names. Billboards along Sunset. Even a fair amount of catwalking. Which I’ve seen, thanks to a friend of mine who always has tickets. 

Oh, that wasn’t when I first saw Dylan. It was as I was looking at my condo and wondering about offering a bid. The real estate agent was letting me wander about to think it over...as he called three other potential buyers, I’m sure. 

I was on the boardwalk looking out over the Pacific and had almost talked myself out of it. The price was hefty. So I’d turned to go inside with the bad news when Dylan came roaring past at probably forty miles an hour and yelled, “Watch it, asshole!” 

At me. 

I jolted and caught a look at him as he roared on down the pavement, being a complete dick to everyone in his way. And revealing what was, as already mentioned, the world’s most perfect ass under a pair of white onion-skin shorts over white athletic boxer-briefs. Giving his board another kick while flexing his amazing back and showing off his perfect legs...

And I fell in lust, right then and there.

Monday, January 5, 2026

Questionable considerations...

I have finally realized that the world will not stop its headlong dash into catastrophe until two men die -- Felon47 and Putin. If they leave this mortal coil, soon, we might have a chance to avert disaster. But I don't see that happening, and nothing I have done or screamed about has made one damned bit of difference, so far.

I'll continue to support Ukraine as best I can, and keep up on the news, but the majority of my time will be better used learning to to promote the books I've published...and finish writing the books I want to write.

I only have a half-dozen in the works.  Darian's Point. Dair's Window. Blood Angel (parts 4-7). And the fact is, I may not have that many years left in which to do it.

I'm not making resolutions. I know I'll slip back into my old habits, now and then, but for now I have to move forward and let the world handle itself. No one's willing to rein in two of the worst humans to exist and there's nothing I can do to change that...believe me, I've tried with my reps and other Democrats.

So like ending contact with an addict who is not interested in addressing their disease, you just have to let go and back away. I've done that a couple times, before, and it's hard...but it saved me. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped; they will only drag you down with them.

Life's roughest lesson.

Sunday, January 4, 2026

Plans changed.

His cancer is terminal. Months to live. Chemo might extend that a little bit, but it's up to him if he wants to. He'll need to be in better shape than he currently is, for that, so it may not be a real option.

Hospice or home care are next aspects to consider. So much to decide and prepare for...and once again it looks like my sister and I will pay for the funeral, like we did for our mother. Maybe cremation and then internment of his ashes next to her grave.

I'm heading back to San Antonio on Wednesday. Used up the last of my points for a one-way plane trip and 3 nights of a hotel. No car. I think I'll stick to Uber.

After that, we'll do what needs to be done. If I return through Austin, I have points enough left on Jet Blue, if I'm careful...so we'll see.

As noted, it wasn't an unexpected prognosis. He looked bad and the fact they'd already wondered about the cancer's spread indicated this. Still the family is shook up.

Me? I'm ten years older than him so it seems wrong. But then I never smoked. Never drank much. Never thought about it for health matters; just...didn't...

Anyway, this means no writing, for now. Life has decided to toss a blanket over Dair's Window...because all I want to do is write or draw something vicious, erotic, and violent...which will be difficult to work up, at the moment.

But we'll see what happens at 2am in a hospital room.

Saturday, January 3, 2026

Shifts ahead...

I returned home, last night, not so much because I had things to do here but because I had reached the limit of the medications I'd brought with me. I allowed for 12 days, thinking I was staying 10. I wound up at 2 weeks, so skipped two complete doses.

Of course, the pathology reports came in today, after I was home. My youngest brother has cancer of the bladder and prostate. May also have some in his bones and sinus area; they're still checking on those areas. 

I'll need to go back down once we have a more complete diagnosis in place. Decide what to do next. Chemo? Surgery? Hospice? No telling.

This outcome was not unexpected. When I saw him in the hospital after arriving in San Antonio, he looked like he was completely wasted away. Skin and bones personified. Shook me up, so as I was heading to check into my hotel had a wreck from not paying attention.

Totally my fault, which is turning into another headache because the rental company is being stupid about it, as is the woman I hit. I was only going 5-7 MPH when I hit her so the damage is minimal and no one was hurt, but it's still an embarrassment...and I do not need more chaos added to this mess. Which is why I didn't tell anyone in the family.

What'll make this hard is, my brother can be difficult to deal with, at times. A niece said he was on the spectrum, just undiagnosed, and that makes sense. He's extremely good at some things and unable to handle even the simplest tasks in others. He's smoked for 50 years. Used to drink but not anymore; can't afford it. He hasn't been to a doctor for a checkup in decades...so this is going to be real fun.

I know death comes to us all, but sometimes it is a mean motherfucker.