Adam's been coerced into escorting Casey to a movie premier and party...but he has to look good. After all, this IS Hollywood.
Patricia smiles at Adam.
PATRICIA (cont’d)
So, honey, white wine or red? Trust me -- it helps.
ADAM
-- Red. And maybe you better leave the bottle.
PATRICIA
That's a given.
INT. CASEY’S BATHROOM - DAY
Big, bright and beautiful. Adam showers in the latest fashion of water spritzers. Steam billows.
Orisi enters with bottles of shampoo, soap, conditioner, skin treatment, shower scrubber...you name it.
ORISI
What is this steam? An Orisi man does not need the steam. We are not prunes!
He reaches into the shower and turns down the hot.
ADAM
Oy!
ORISI
Use these to bathe!
He shoves the bottles at Adam.
ADAM
I’ve got soap!
ORISI
Soap? SOAP? What kind of philistine are you!? Soap.
He storms out.
Adam smells the bottles.
ADAM
Pomegranate? Are you joking?
INT. CASEY’S BEDROOM - DAY
Big, bright, and beautiful, with a grand view of the ocean. Adam stands before them, drinking wine from the bottle. He wears only a robe.
Orisi circles him as his CREW awaits instructions.
ORISI
We start from nothing. Face. Hair. Nails. Toes. Build them.
He yanks the robe open to reveal Adam’s chest.
ADAM
Oy, oy, oy, oy!
ORISI
See? No need to wax.
He whips the robe closed again, then claps his hand.
ORISI (cont’d)
Go, go, go people. We must make the Orisi Man from this lump of clay, and at once!
______________________________
INT. CASEY’S HOME - DAY
A well-dressed man, ORISI, circles Adam, eyeing him very critically. A couple of Bandaids are over Adam’s cut. Casey takes notes.
ORISI
Something to do about the hair. And the fingernails! Do you exfoliate?
ADAM
I don’t even know what that is.
ORISI
God! He must shave. Not enough to call it scruff. And your skin! Oh...
He whips out a tape measure.
ORISI (cont’d)
Down the pants.
ADAM
Excuse me?
ORISI
I need your hips, legs, and rear. See what I have to work with.
Patricia enters with plane tickets.
PATRICIA
Ticket’s changed. I never get to go First Class.
CASEY
You get to go to the store. Here’s a list.
ORISI
PANTS please!
ADAM
I don’t understand -- why can’t I just try some things on?
ORISI
At Orisi’s we do not try things on. We are not Sears. Drop pants.
CASEY
Adam, c’mon, it’s not that big a deal.
PATRICIA
Maybe that’s what he’s afraid you’ll find out.
Adam huffs, undoes his pants and lowers them down his hips. Orisi yanks them to his knees.
ADAM
Oy!
ORISI
Mother of God -- what is this you wear!?
ADAM
What, what, what? My briefs?
ORISI
Oh, Casey, Casey -- Orisi needs backup.
He pulls out his cell phone.
INT. CASEY’S HOME - DAY
A well-dressed man, ORISI, circles Adam, eyeing him very critically. A couple of Bandaids are over Adam’s cut. Casey takes notes.
ORISI
Something to do about the hair. And the fingernails! Do you exfoliate?
ADAM
I don’t even know what that is.
ORISI
God! He must shave. Not enough to call it scruff. And your skin! Oh...
He whips out a tape measure.
ORISI (cont’d)
Down the pants.
ADAM
Excuse me?
ORISI
I need your hips, legs, and rear. See what I have to work with.
Patricia enters with plane tickets.
PATRICIA
Ticket’s changed. I never get to go First Class.
CASEY
You get to go to the store. Here’s a list.
ORISI
PANTS please!
ADAM
I don’t understand -- why can’t I just try some things on?
ORISI
At Orisi’s we do not try things on. We are not Sears. Drop pants.
CASEY
Adam, c’mon, it’s not that big a deal.
PATRICIA
Maybe that’s what he’s afraid you’ll find out.
Adam huffs, undoes his pants and lowers them down his hips. Orisi yanks them to his knees.
ADAM
Oy!
ORISI
Mother of God -- what is this you wear!?
ADAM
What, what, what? My briefs?
ORISI
Oh, Casey, Casey -- Orisi needs backup.
He pulls out his cell phone.
Patricia smiles at Adam.
PATRICIA (cont’d)
So, honey, white wine or red? Trust me -- it helps.
ADAM
-- Red. And maybe you better leave the bottle.
PATRICIA
That's a given.
INT. CASEY’S BATHROOM - DAY
Big, bright and beautiful. Adam showers in the latest fashion of water spritzers. Steam billows.
Orisi enters with bottles of shampoo, soap, conditioner, skin treatment, shower scrubber...you name it.
ORISI
What is this steam? An Orisi man does not need the steam. We are not prunes!
He reaches into the shower and turns down the hot.
ADAM
Oy!
ORISI
Use these to bathe!
He shoves the bottles at Adam.
ADAM
I’ve got soap!
ORISI
Soap? SOAP? What kind of philistine are you!? Soap.
He storms out.
Adam smells the bottles.
ADAM
Pomegranate? Are you joking?
INT. CASEY’S BEDROOM - DAY
Big, bright, and beautiful, with a grand view of the ocean. Adam stands before them, drinking wine from the bottle. He wears only a robe.
Orisi circles him as his CREW awaits instructions.
ORISI
We start from nothing. Face. Hair. Nails. Toes. Build them.
He yanks the robe open to reveal Adam’s chest.
ADAM
Oy, oy, oy, oy!
ORISI
See? No need to wax.
He whips the robe closed again, then claps his hand.
ORISI (cont’d)
Go, go, go people. We must make the Orisi Man from this lump of clay, and at once!
Adam is shoved into a chair and the Crew dives in.
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