I spent the day working on my step outline for A65 and doing a bit more research to make certain I'm not throwing in anything that's completely out of left field. It's now 14 pages of beats, notes, and ideas. I've deliberately forced myself to not allow anything into the story that does not grow organically from the characters, location, or situation, and does not have an emotional connection to the story. That hasn't been easy.
What's going to be harder is sitting down to write it, because while I can hear it and see it in my head, something always gets lost in the translation to the printed word and I have to fight to make it show up there.
Like the opening. I worked on that today, adding in a bit more prologue to set Adam up...and suddenly it's reading flat. I have a feeling it's because I've got him mooning over a woman he works with, Elizabeth, who isn't the least bit interested back...and I took out a bit of his pissiness. So I've reworked it, again...and again...and it's a bit better.
What I'm trying to avoid is comedy that only stems from shock value and comes just for a laugh's sake. There was a lot of that in "The Hangover" and too many times reality went out the window in chase of a laugh. Like the whole tasering bit in the police station. 1. I don't find tasering people to be funny and 2. it was completely contrary to what the cops would actually do. Especially with kids watching. There were a hundred better ways to work the whole arrest sequence.
Plus, how could ANYONE get a fully grown tiger past the security in a Las Vegas casino and up to a hotel room?? Those things are more tightly watched than the Pentagon during Defcon Four.
Crap like that kept taking me out of the movie, and it was a consistent thing. Yes, I'd laugh, but the second I put any logic to the story, I'd go, WTF? That's what I like so much about "His Girl Friday" and "Ball of Fire". Their comedy comes from the characters and the situations, all of which make sense. They're grounded in the real world even as the situations are a bit over the top. I want A65 to be the same kind of funny.
Yeah, make things easy for yourself.
What's going to be harder is sitting down to write it, because while I can hear it and see it in my head, something always gets lost in the translation to the printed word and I have to fight to make it show up there.
Like the opening. I worked on that today, adding in a bit more prologue to set Adam up...and suddenly it's reading flat. I have a feeling it's because I've got him mooning over a woman he works with, Elizabeth, who isn't the least bit interested back...and I took out a bit of his pissiness. So I've reworked it, again...and again...and it's a bit better.
What I'm trying to avoid is comedy that only stems from shock value and comes just for a laugh's sake. There was a lot of that in "The Hangover" and too many times reality went out the window in chase of a laugh. Like the whole tasering bit in the police station. 1. I don't find tasering people to be funny and 2. it was completely contrary to what the cops would actually do. Especially with kids watching. There were a hundred better ways to work the whole arrest sequence.
Plus, how could ANYONE get a fully grown tiger past the security in a Las Vegas casino and up to a hotel room?? Those things are more tightly watched than the Pentagon during Defcon Four.
Crap like that kept taking me out of the movie, and it was a consistent thing. Yes, I'd laugh, but the second I put any logic to the story, I'd go, WTF? That's what I like so much about "His Girl Friday" and "Ball of Fire". Their comedy comes from the characters and the situations, all of which make sense. They're grounded in the real world even as the situations are a bit over the top. I want A65 to be the same kind of funny.
Yeah, make things easy for yourself.
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