Day 3 of Comedy...ish...writing...ish

We had to write a scene using one of three comedy setups -- Misinterpretation, Comedic Surprise, and Wildly Inappropriate Response. So I stole a scene from one of my scripts -- THE LAVENDER CURSE -- to use as...I guess as Comedic Surprise.

Ruth is the lead. Her husband has run off with a younger woman and her best friends, Brenda and Ornella, are trying to help her get past it by pushing her into various activities, including being a contestant in the "Senior Lady" pageants. That started out the script and Ruth came in 4th runner up. All three women are over 60 years of age.
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INT. COMMUNITY CENTER - DAY

A winter storm blasts outside. A GYM BUNNY leads a dozen SENIOR LADIES in a “Tap Dancing for Therapy” class, RUTH in the middle of them. “Bad Moon Risin’” plays on a boom box.

GYM BUNNIE
Okay, ladies, shuffle-step. Slam your feet down. Get the aggression out. C’mon, dig in. Now heel and toe. Crush your problems into the floor. Harder! That’s it!

Ruth does it with a vengeance.

BRENDA peeks in the door, garment bag in hand, then scampers away to --

AN ART CLASS

Ornella paints a portrait of a NUDE MALE MODEL. The students are OLDER FEMALES and one ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Brenda skids in, sees the model -- and freezes.

BRENDA
OH!

ORNELLA
Oh, stop -- you had THREE sons. You know what's what.

BRENDA
But I...he...he’s...oh, my...

ORNELLA
What IS it, Brenda?

BRENDA
Huh? Oh, uh...I need your help.

ORNELLA
To do what?

BRENDA
Get Ruth to Las Vegas.

ORNELLA
Why?

BRENDA
She’s the new “Senior Lady of Vermont”, and she’s representing us at the pageant, this weekend!

ORNELLA
WHAT?!

DANCE CLASS - MOMENTS LATER

Ruth gapes at them.

RUTH
That’s crazy!

BRENDA
And official! The current Senior Lady threw her back out. The first runner up has gastritis, the second runner up is off on a ten week cruise to New Zealand and the third runner up just finished a skin peel that left her as red as a cherry!

ORNELLA
I’d say she’s more like a bright tangerine, but...

BRENDA
But they've been trying to get hold of you!

RUTH
I unplugged my phone.

BRENDA
Well...the national pageant’s this weekend and all fifty states have to be represented for it to be verified by the international committee.

RUTH
Oh, no, no, I couldn’t.

BRENDA
Why not?

RUTH
It’s on national television!

BRENDA
Oh, just on CPN, honey, and THAT only gets beamed in to Trekkies.

ORNELLA
I’m sure they’ll think you’re quite interesting, if not ENTIRELY logical.

She gives the “Vulcan” sign.

BRENDA
Besides, you probably won’t make the first cut and only the top ten get to be on the broadcast.

RUTH
But, I...I don’t have the right kind of dress...

Brenda whips a gaudy, glittery gown from the bag. It still has the “Senior Ms. Autumn In Vermont” sash pinned to it.

BRENDA
Use mine.

RUTH
Brenda, I couldn’t. It’d have to be altered.
(off Brenda's glare)
A little.

BRENDA
It'll be ready Thursday.

RUTH
But I...I hate Las Vegas.

BRENDA
Why? Your daughter and grandchildren live there.

RUTH
With Griffin!

BRENDA
Griffin?

ORNELLA
Griff. Annabelle’s husband. The cop.

BRENDA
Oh? Oh! Oh...

RUTH
Yes. The jerk who moved my baby clear across the country after promising he wouldn’t and -- !

ORNELLA
(cutting her off)
Honey, do you really hate him so much you’d turn down a free trip to see your grandbabies?

Ornella nudges Brenda.

BRENDA
Oh...yes! Yes, it’s a free trip to...to see the family!

ORNELLA
And since Griff’s always working, we could arrange for you could stay a few days AFTER the pageant’s over!

BRENDA

It’s perfect! Ruth, honey...you have to go.

ORNELLA

You WANT to go. You NEED to go, just to show that prick you married what he’s missing out on. So what do you say?

Ruth eyes her...and...

EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY

A jumbo jet roars in to land. The Vegas Strip gleams nearby.

INT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY

Ruth strides down the corridor, dressed to perfection and wearing both the "Senior Lady of Vermont" sash AND a gleaming Tiara, like a movie star.