Trying to add to the comedy...or laughs...or something. Again, this is after Adam's been humiliated in front of Lando's guests. His pants are torn and his butt is scratched. His glasses broke in half. He's sopping wet from falling in the pool. And he's missing a shoe.
------------------------
EXT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION — NIGHT
Adam storms down the street. Casey hurries after him with an umbrella. It still rains.
ADAM
You bloody set me up!
CASEY
I didn’t have any choice! It was the only way I could think of to get the book back.
ADAM
You mean, use me to make your ex-side of beef jealous and -- ! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,!
He spins on her, horrified, splashing water and blood on her.
CASEY
Watch it!
ADAM
You don’t have it? You don’t have the book?!
CASEY
I...I told you —- it’s in a safety deposit box and -- .
ADAM
Oh, don’t tell me it’s Lando’s.
CASEY
Okay, yeah, it’s his box. When I found out how valuable the book is, I put it there to keep it safe. But then I caught him fucking Angelina Castroini so smeared his Ferrari with dogshit, and for some reason that pissed him off, even though I was the one being cheated on -- .
Adam groans and continues down to Santa Monica Blvd.
ADAM
I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it. How will I explain this to Vincent? All I had to do was fly to Los Angeles to pick up a book...but I’ve ruined everything. And what’s worse? An Alice Sixty-five, perhaps only the tenth copy known to be in existence, is in the hands of that...that Neanderthal...no! No! No! Not even that advanced, that Tautavel man who probably thinks it a printed form of toilet paper! If he even knows how to wipe!
CASEY
What’re you so upset about? It’s my book.
ADAM
No, Casey, it was your bloody grandfather’s book! Why he gave it to you, I have no idea, because you have zero appreciation for it. You don’t care about anything but yourself! What’s going to hurt you; what’s going to help you; and to hell what helps or hurts other people.
CASEY
Adam!
ADAM
Don’t you understand? I will lose my position at the university. Does that permeate through any part of your being? I will be blamed for not bringing the Alice Sixty-five into our collection. Me. Because of this.
He picks at his glasses and then his pants.
ADAM (cont’d)
And this. It’s not something a serious person does. It’s not something a person who can be trusted does.
CASEY
Adam, you're too young to be one of those.
ADAM
Well, I'm bloody well old enough to know that I'm standing in the middle of the street, dripping wet after nearly drowning, because a girl I trusted couldn't be!
They reach a bus stop just as a bus is about to pull away. Adam slams on the door.
ADAM (cont’d)
No, wait, please! Please!
The bus opens its door.
CASEY
Adam, cut it! Let’s go back to the house and I’ll get my car and take you to a hotel.
ADAM
No, you stay away from me. Just stay away and I’ll make my own way home, thank you.
(to bus driver)
Excuse me, which way am I going?
BUS DRIVER
You don’t know?
ADAM
I haven’t since I arrived.
CASEY
Come on. Your butt’s bleeding. Let me take you home.
ADAM
No.
BUS DRIVER
We’re headed for Santa Monica.
ADAM
Can I get to the airport from there?
CASEY
Please, I’ll fix you up and get you back in your old clothes.
ADAM
No.
BUS DRIVER
Yeah.
ADAM
Excellent.
CASEY
I’ll even buy you new ones. I know where there’s a twenty-four hour Target, and you’re the only person I’d ever admit that to.
He pulls out his wallet. Water dribbles from it as he peels off two very wet dollar bills.
ADAM
Do you take cold wet cash?
BUS DRIVER
If the bills’ll go in.
CASEY
Adam, cut it. Please. Why won’t you let me help you?
ADAM
Because, Casey, you bloody well annoy me.
The bus door closes and it takes off. She holds up a gleaming object...
CASEY
But I...I got Lando’s key.
The bus stops and Adam gets off to stand in the rain. Casey runs over to him.
CASEY (cont’d)
You changed your mind!
ADAM
The bills wouldn’t go in.
She shows him the key. He looks at her.
ADAM (cont’d)
For the safety deposit box?
She nods.
ADAM (cont’d)
Can you get to it without Lando being there?
CASEY
I’m authorized.
ADAM
(finally)
Where’s that Target?
(BTW...suggestions on amping up the funny will be most appreciated.)
------------------------
EXT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION — NIGHT
Adam storms down the street. Casey hurries after him with an umbrella. It still rains.
ADAM
You bloody set me up!
CASEY
I didn’t have any choice! It was the only way I could think of to get the book back.
ADAM
You mean, use me to make your ex-side of beef jealous and -- ! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,!
He spins on her, horrified, splashing water and blood on her.
CASEY
Watch it!
ADAM
You don’t have it? You don’t have the book?!
CASEY
I...I told you —- it’s in a safety deposit box and -- .
ADAM
Oh, don’t tell me it’s Lando’s.
CASEY
Okay, yeah, it’s his box. When I found out how valuable the book is, I put it there to keep it safe. But then I caught him fucking Angelina Castroini so smeared his Ferrari with dogshit, and for some reason that pissed him off, even though I was the one being cheated on -- .
Adam groans and continues down to Santa Monica Blvd.
ADAM
I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it. How will I explain this to Vincent? All I had to do was fly to Los Angeles to pick up a book...but I’ve ruined everything. And what’s worse? An Alice Sixty-five, perhaps only the tenth copy known to be in existence, is in the hands of that...that Neanderthal...no! No! No! Not even that advanced, that Tautavel man who probably thinks it a printed form of toilet paper! If he even knows how to wipe!
CASEY
What’re you so upset about? It’s my book.
ADAM
No, Casey, it was your bloody grandfather’s book! Why he gave it to you, I have no idea, because you have zero appreciation for it. You don’t care about anything but yourself! What’s going to hurt you; what’s going to help you; and to hell what helps or hurts other people.
CASEY
Adam!
ADAM
Don’t you understand? I will lose my position at the university. Does that permeate through any part of your being? I will be blamed for not bringing the Alice Sixty-five into our collection. Me. Because of this.
He picks at his glasses and then his pants.
ADAM (cont’d)
And this. It’s not something a serious person does. It’s not something a person who can be trusted does.
CASEY
Adam, you're too young to be one of those.
ADAM
Well, I'm bloody well old enough to know that I'm standing in the middle of the street, dripping wet after nearly drowning, because a girl I trusted couldn't be!
They reach a bus stop just as a bus is about to pull away. Adam slams on the door.
ADAM (cont’d)
No, wait, please! Please!
The bus opens its door.
CASEY
Adam, cut it! Let’s go back to the house and I’ll get my car and take you to a hotel.
ADAM
No, you stay away from me. Just stay away and I’ll make my own way home, thank you.
(to bus driver)
Excuse me, which way am I going?
BUS DRIVER
You don’t know?
ADAM
I haven’t since I arrived.
CASEY
Come on. Your butt’s bleeding. Let me take you home.
ADAM
No.
BUS DRIVER
We’re headed for Santa Monica.
ADAM
Can I get to the airport from there?
CASEY
Please, I’ll fix you up and get you back in your old clothes.
ADAM
No.
BUS DRIVER
Yeah.
ADAM
Excellent.
CASEY
I’ll even buy you new ones. I know where there’s a twenty-four hour Target, and you’re the only person I’d ever admit that to.
He pulls out his wallet. Water dribbles from it as he peels off two very wet dollar bills.
ADAM
Do you take cold wet cash?
BUS DRIVER
If the bills’ll go in.
CASEY
Adam, cut it. Please. Why won’t you let me help you?
ADAM
Because, Casey, you bloody well annoy me.
The bus door closes and it takes off. She holds up a gleaming object...
CASEY
But I...I got Lando’s key.
The bus stops and Adam gets off to stand in the rain. Casey runs over to him.
CASEY (cont’d)
You changed your mind!
ADAM
The bills wouldn’t go in.
She shows him the key. He looks at her.
ADAM (cont’d)
For the safety deposit box?
She nods.
ADAM (cont’d)
Can you get to it without Lando being there?
CASEY
I’m authorized.
ADAM
(finally)
Where’s that Target?
(BTW...suggestions on amping up the funny will be most appreciated.)
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